Who pays for What?

Elliesmum

What is going on with weddings now. Some of these threads that I am reading about stag/hen celebrations costing hundreds of pounds, couples expecting people to pay over the odds for accommodation and drinks etc.

I only got married 7 years ago and we didn't expect any of our guests to pay out that sort of money.

OP - I would explain to the couple getting married that you cannot afford to pay £600 on clothes. I would have thought you could have bought them cheaper. I think it would be a real shame for you to cancel a family holiday to pay for some clothes you are never going to own!

However I can really see the situation you are in - this is a family wedding and they are going to expect to see you there.

Good luck in your quest.

EM xx

[Deleted User]

OP - is it a black-tie function? Will all the men be in dinner jackets?

Mrs7ones

ringo_24601 wrote: »

OP - is it a black-tie function? Will all the men be in dinner jackets?

The final decision on exactly what they are wearing hasn't been made yet, BUT I think it's going to be tails,waistcoat, cumabund (sp)etc...
Also, there's talk of getting the bridesmaids dresses within the next couple of months (bought off the peg, not custom made) which troubles me cos DD is at the age where her body shape is changing (11) and anything bought now isn't going to fit in 12 months, leaving me with either expensive alteration costs, or having to buy another dress :eek::eek::eek:.

DH is working up the courage to 'totally ruin' his wedding and speak to him about all this.
I just don't want to be seen as party poopers....................

pinkkaz

I got married recently and couldn't afford to splash out on bridesmaids dresses so I just specified bridesmaids to wear a black dress as I knew they all had one in their wardrobe already. Best men and ushers just wore their best suits and were tied in with a buttonhole which we provided. I think it's really cheeky to ask guests to pay for something which you're not willing to pay for yourself. I don't know, if you were obviously loaded maybe it wouldn't be a big deal, but you're obviously not!

As another poster has said, maybe it just hasn't occurred to the bride and groom so let them know asap - I'm sure they'd be horrified if they knew you were cancelling your holiday to pay for it! I prefer weddings where everyone is just wearing what they're comfortable in anyway!

Krystaltips

Mrs7ones wrote: »

DH is working up the courage to 'totally ruin' his wedding and speak to him about all this.
I just don't want to be seen as party poopers....................

If they are decent people you won't be seen as party poopers and it is not going to ruin the wedding.

We're having a best man and usher and we know that neither of them is in a position to hire their suits and neither would we expect it, likewise I have bought the bridesmaid dresses myself because it's my wedding not theirs so why should they shell out? My matron of honour is buying her own dress but that is her choice (I wanted her to wear her wedding dress from a couple of years ago, its gorgeous but she wants a new outfit)

It's going to be easier mentioning it now so the bride and groom can re-work their budget than wait until it's time to pay and get yourselves worked up about it.

I really hope you get it worked out, weddings should be something to look forward to