On the verge of mental breakdown

rosieandjim_4

Hi I am on a dmp, which is going ok,(secret debts from hubby £23,000) I am a mum, I can only work normal hours, no work at the moment I work for an agency, but its a few days here and a few days there, doing a bit of ebay, I need to earn about 1000 a month at the moment no where near that, I think I'm about to crack up, try to act out I'm happy at home but cant stop thinking about money and cutting back I am so depressed I have had enough, husband gone to work sons gone to school club, and as usual I'm sat here wondering how to get some more money, is there anything you could suggest doing from home I am so desperate for money any ideas. Sorry to drone on but this site is the only place which stops me from tipping over the edge, so glad I can talk to you.

lynzpower

why doesnt your hubby know.?

If you are working to a budget its impossible to keep it under control if one of you hasnt got a clue they are meant to be sticking to it.

Do you have a budget and how is it working at the mo

Does OH give you access to the money he makes or just housekeeping?

have you done an SOA on here before? They can be so useful.

Karmacat

Hello rosieandjim

Welcome to mse, first of all, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this bad. But I'm not surprised, if you're keeping all of this to yourself - its a huge burden for anyone in any circumstances, let alone in total secrecy. I'd say seriously consider why you're keeping it secret, and consider lifting that secrecy.

Other than that, there are things you can do. There's a home page article on this site called "Boost Your Income", which has all sorts of ways you can do things, which other people on here already do. Nearly all of them are done from home - AQA, slice the pie, mystery shopping, surveys, all sorts of things I can't think of at the mo. Take a look, and check it out one by one.

The last thing has nothing to do with actual moneysaving: I know it will sound daft, but give it a go: have a brisk walk each day, I really do know what its like to sit at the computer thinking and thinking and worrying about the debt.

All the best, and keep posting.


PS - doing an soa is a good idea - see the first thread on the forum for how to do it.

tallyhoh

I wish I could help with the earnings bit but have no ideas. You really should tell hubby. As one who has had to find out the hard way about OH's debts its a nasty shock. It would have been easier if he had told me. Keeping secrets is not good & as you say you are on the verge of a breakdown it is not fair on your family. If they escalate too far it may put your family life at BIG risk.

Tell him & work it out together.

rosieandjim_4

Many thanks all tips gratefully recieved I'll take a look :T

doodledo_2

Hi and welcome to the board.

It must be so hard living with this when your OH has no idea. I know its very hard to do but is there any chance you could tell him? If he knew maybe he could help you with generating some more income.

Definately worth posting your SOA as well (see newbie sticky at the top) as you will be amazed at what people on here can suggest to reduce your outgoings.

Good luck with your journey and hope to chat more.

poppett

Hi RosieandJim,
First of all you are not alone, everyone I've encountered on here is full of suppport, so you're in the right place.
Now, regarding your hubby not knowing about your debts....tell him and do it soon. I was in a similar position a couple of years back, hubby knew I had gone into overdraft on debit card but not exactly how much. It was only when our marriage was at near breaking point that we sat down and had a heart to heart and I told him everything. Things are so much better now and we hide NOTHING.
It will be hard to do but you must do it. You cannot face this alone, while you are at home alone it gives you time to sit and think and in your situation this is a bad thing. As the saying goes "a problem shared is a problem halved"

Good luck hun. x

newmum1

I agree with the above posts youre prob feeling scared to telly your hubby but chances are that it wont be as bad as you think and it will feel like a huge weight has been lifted and then you can work together in clearing it and becomming debt free together.

raq

Hi ,

Oh no I thought Just like me 14 months ago. Felt EXACTLY the same way . Please please tell your hubby you won't believe how much better you will feel.

At the time yes he knew we had debt but it was double than what it thought.

When I told him he was actually glad I told him as he thought I was either having any affair ( not a chance ) or I had post natal depression as I just had another baby. He was fantastic, blamed both of us and not just myself. We are working on it and thank god he is now bringing in more money to cover it. Down to his hard graft.

All the very best and I will be thinking of you .

stapeley

hi, may i ask what sort of debt are they ? Are they credit cards? have you defaulted ? How old are the debts?? We are here to try and help .

rosieandjim_4

Hi yes credit cards all £23,000 and all defaulted with churchwood will take about 6 years to pay off wish I could do it another way.

Thanks for all your comments and support its wonderful to here from you all x