council claim we are lving together when we are not

Scoflo

2 residences = not living together

tell the truth & shame the devil. If you are both maintaining a property the rules, like them or not, state you cannot be deemed to be living together. If you stayed with someone else ie pal, mum a decision would need to be made based on the facts as found by the visiting officer/investigator but from what you say this is not the case.

MommaCC

daveboy wrote:

The trick is not to end up on your own with two kids, being funded by the DSS (or DWP or whatever it is now) to live and eat, but that's another matter.

daveboy, I agree that there are many people out there who abuse the system. Benefits should be available to help people who need a stepping stone until they are able to support themselves fully - not a way of life. However, each individual case should be looked at carefully.

1) Is the OP ready to spend the rest of their life with their partner, if not the trick would surely be not to commit to living with this person

2) Are the children involved happy and willing to accept a step father / step mother / step brothers/sisters into their family at this time

I too have ended up on my own with 2 children. When I married and had children it was a life commitment, and was sure that it was the same for my ex-husband - but after 11 years he had a change of heart. I spent 3 years on income support whilst I rebuilt my life, confidence and skills, and nurtured my children through emotional turmoil. Having used this time effectively, I am now proud to be supporting my family independently (well, nearly independently, thanks to the tax credits I receive - although my next goal is to earn sufficient salary so I will no longer rely on this handout).

There is no trick, no sure bet, no guarantees. We can only rely on our own judgment and face the consequences when things go wrong.

Tabbykatt

daveboy wrote:

The trick is not to end up on your own with two kids, being funded by the DSS (or DWP or whatever it is now) to live and eat, but that's another matter.

You really do have so much to learn about life!

I suppose the 'trick' would be to isolate yourself from the real world, stay single and never consider having children. Oh and of course never leave your house just incase that bus were to run you over and leave you disabled, or contract Cancer/MS or any other life threatening disease. Do you really think that YOU are in control of your life to this level?

flea72

you spend 3 nights at hers, she spends 3 nights at yours, you are together more than you are apart.

its what most people would class as being a 2 property household - oh the luxury of a w/end holiday home, where the rent is paid by the DSS

jellyhead

i believe many couples go through a period like that though, getting to know each other before deciding to get married or move in together. it's the sensible thing to do, jumping straight into relationships isn't good when there are children involved. my husband had his own place for a year when we got together, he didn't move in until we got married. even then some people thought we were rushing into things, our wedding day was only 12 months after we got together. the OP isn't living with his girlfriend, he may do at some point in the future but surely he's allowed some time to get to know her and work out if the relationship is for keeps? you don't expect him to move her in and take on the full expense of her and her family after the first date?

Phonix

its what most people would class as being a 2 property household - oh the luxury of a w/end holiday home, where the rent is paid by the DSS

Firstly, it's likely he pays a mortgage on his property which for these purposes we can treat as rent.

Secondly in your scenario she is visiting him as often as he is visiting her, so the visits should cancel each other out. Yes she's probably not sleeping in her house during these visits, however, she is still only visiting him not living, as is he.

Since when did these visits constitute the same security as DSS payments? That's effectively what the council is arguing; that these visits are the equivalent of DSS payments or that his visits provide support for her in some way.

I wonder what they'd do if both people were claiming benefits.

Tabbykatt

Well said Jellyhead, occasionaly people do rush in to relationships with no regard to how the children feel. Children that have already been bruised by a relationship breakdown are delicate enough as it is. Relationships need time to mature, and anyway the court-ship (how old do I sound) is so much fun before the reality of living in close proximity to each other kicks in.

My experience on this subject-
I am living on DSS (yes Daveboy I am a scrounger!) after my ex husband left us for a care-free single life. I have 2 children, who were hurt by the whole split obviously. A couple of years ago I met the most amazing guy and we have been dating ever since. We do not live together and do not/have not tried to 'con' the system, (as some people like to think all recipients of Benefits do) mainly because there is no way I am going to risk the stability of my children just to get a couple of hundred quid a month.
In December this year we are going to marry and start a new life together and I cannot wait until the day when we can spend more than 3 nights together a week.

In answer to the OP- I really do think that anyone who works within the beurocratic system has an automatic cynical view on ANYONE who is claiming benefits, mainly because there are people out there who do cheat the system (or try). Believe me you are made to feel guilty as soon as you enter any establishment related to benefits (I am sure everyone with the experinece of them will agree), but so long as you have nothing to hide then they will not find anything. You can stay with your GF 3 nights per week so long as you have your own address, at least that was what I was told at my local housing benefit office.
From the other posts though it sounds like the investigators need alot of convincing.

Phonix

In December this year we are going to marry and start a new life together and I cannot wait until the day when we can spend more than 3 nights together a week.

I wish the very best for you. Sounds great.

In answer to the OP- I really do think that anyone who works within the beurocratic system has an automatic cynical view on ANYONE who is claiming benefits, mainly because there are people out there who do cheat the system (or try). Believe me you are made to feel guilty as soon as you enter any establishment related to benefits (I am sure everyone with the experinece of them will agree), but so long as you have nothing to hide then they will not find anything.

Going off topic a little I've always wondered if maybe twenty years in the future "a government" might globalise a benefits service, and that country would end up with indian call center staff on the other end lol. Reason I say it is because maybe it would take away the factor you've highlighted. Depends how many Bin Ladens there are hanging about lol.

pandas66

Back to the subject of staying 3 nights a week. The topic raises my hackles somewhat as I see it as bucking the system, you can stay over and then go home. I see it as having your cake and eating it, the 'we run 2 houses' quote as laughable as OP states he does stay 3 nights every week and she goes to him every other weekend so out of 14 nights they are together 9. Thats running the system alright. I think it should be zero nights.

trace-j

djhalfbrow wrote:

Hi All

Looking for some help and advice, My girlfriend has 2 children and lives in a council house and is claiming benefits, A beneifirs officer turned up this week asking questions about me and are now trying to decide if we live together or not,

I myself own my own house and have 2 children, I pay my own bills and council tax, I stay over my girlfriends house 3 times a week and she comes over my every other weekend, I do not assist in paying any bills other than when we all go out together. I keep some wash things and a few items of clothing there for when i am visiting, but other than this nothing here is mine.

We are obviuosly concerend that if they claim we are living together that this will affect her benefits. I myself cannot see how we can be classed as living together as I own my own house and pay my own bills and visa vera.

Any advise would be of great on where we stand and if there is any chance they can class us as living together.

If you have your own home that you pay the necessary on (and can prove it) you shouldn't have too many problems. Its easy for the council to say your living together to save money on the benefits, it is for you and your girlfriend to prove them wrong.

UPDATE: If you're living 40miles apart, chances are you wont be paying council tax to the same local authority, so communications between the 2 authorities wont be great, if any exists. Hence proof of your situation is important.