Newbie, deep in debt.

dancingfairy

Hi TOT and welcome :hello: . Best thing is to get an SOA posted - preferably one for you seperately and one for your partner. This is because if she is paying the mortgage and you are paying some bills you will both need to be aware of situation - are you spending on stuff for both of you? or is it just your personal spending? If you can't face asking your partner for an SOA - do your own first and work up to confessing all slowly - when you have a plan in place- might help her see you are facing up to it - if you see what I mean. Obviously you need to identify the cause of the overspending - is it buying nice things? or just household expenses eating up the money? I would also start the dreaded spending diary - once you start you will see what I mean- you have to write down every penn you spend to see where the money is going and boy does it go - I buy everything magazines/coke/choc bars/food out etc - arggh- your own might be cd's/clothes/cigarettes - whatever - but everyone seems to have at least one 'minor' treat for themselves which adds up every day and you don't realise it.

Anyway - gotta go -sorry for rambling and good luck.

hayley1471

Tot wrote: »

Was looking at the Co Operative bank and thinking about opening one of their basic accoiunt with an electron card, then getting the wages put in there to stop them being obliterated, does anyone have any experience of them or know if they are linked to Lloyds TSB?

I am not sure - and wouldn't want to mis-advise you. Pop over to the current account board if you are not sure, someone there will be able to help. http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=20

There's a thread on there about basic accounts - sticky at the top.

HTH

FeelingLow

hi tot & welcome

when my OH told me about the debt i did blame him & go off in a rage but i soon calmed down & we are now in this together,

i do think you must be brave & tell you OH how things really are at least when she knows she may be willing to help/suport you.

the people here are so helpful so keep posting & you will get lots of help & support along the way

Tot_3

WOW, how good is everyone on here!!! Been here 5mins and got so much help already, I just gotta be strong at getting it sorted.

Me and the OH pay half each for all bills and the mortgage, I just pay her after payday and they all come out of her account as it was already set up that way when I moved in with her.

FeelingLow

Tot wrote: »

I havent told my OH yet, I'm too scared to as to how she will take it but I know I've got to brave upto it asap.

Was looking at the Co Operative bank and thinking about opening one of their basic accoiunt with an electron card, then getting the wages put in there to stop them being obliterated, does anyone have any experience of them or know if they are linked to Lloyds TSB?

i hope not as i have debt with TSB & i have just opened a cashminder account for wages etc

free-range

Hi Tot,

Well done for making a start and addressing the problem. I kept my debts from OH for ages and when I finally told him he was really suportive. Not only that it was a HUGE weight off my mind. A problem shared etc etc...
Good luck, with the help of the very clever MSE-er's you'll be opn the (long) road to recovery soon!!

hayley1471

I have been thinking about the OH thing, and my advice would be to try and protect this month's income so you can still pay her the £650.

I am just reflecting on how I would feel if my OH (not that I have one) was to come to me and tell me very shortly before I was expecting it, that I wasn't going to get my housekeeping for that month, I would be most extremly very enraged (at least in the short term).

If you tell your OH as soon as possible, but tell them that they will still be getting ther £650 this month, it will give you both a month to work out what to do together. Telling your OH at short notice, will mean that she has to find a short term solution, on her own, putting her under pressure in a situation that will be tricky enough as it is.

Just my two penny's worth - but I think you need to protect your partnership through this as well.

debt4evernot

Hi Tot and welcome. You will certainly get a lot of great advice from here - we don't post very much but we are here everyday!!!!

The Co-Op account is very good - we opened one with them very quickly - not sure if it is linked to Lloyds. We use it to transfer our weekly money into and live on that. We take our money out each Monday and go to the Post Office and pay it in.