Long distance relationship v debt repayment

Squirrel29

I really embraced the MSE way and stick tightly to my budget. I can only afford to budget £60 per month petrol which is suffice for my commute to work plus a few other short journeys around town during the month.

However I now have a spanner in the works, my friend has been trying to fix me up with a fella to end my 4 year dry season when it comes to relationships. Trouble is this guy lives 4 hours away across the other side of the country. He seems pretty keen and keeps texting me to meet up but I feel a long term relationship and the travel involved with totally screw up my debt repayment. I also work a lot of weekends for overtime to speed up my DFD.

Has anyone else had a dilema like this, I just feel so focused on getting myself straight with money that I feel a relationship would be a distraction, plus the travel to his hometown which I would have to do to be fair would use up my entire month's petrol budget?

Lemon_Tree

mine is a long distance relationship (well until OH get a job here), but luckily we can use the trains and try and book early to get cheaper tickets. Also he tends to make 2 journeys to one of mine as it's easier for him.

Really it's down to you. You are entitled to a life outside of DFW but how much of one is your choice i guess. Also it depends on how you feel the relationship is developing over the phone, and only you know that.

Good luck whatever you decide.

always_amazed

That's really tough, thing is if things go well you'll likely end up spending loads on the relationship. If you go, and his intentions are honourable, and you like him, make your fiscal circumstances clear from the start; to avoid any misunderstandings. A guy I like thinks I hate him as I keep saying no do the cinema as I can't afford it

Squirrel29

Thanks guys, I don't feel I need a relationship particuarly. I really love my life now just as it is. I used to travel a lot with my job and now relish the fact I work only 3 miles away and free time is spent spent pottering around my little house and not stuck on some motorway or train.

I also have a son who is about to take GCSE's so I don't think it fair to have someone coming over for a weekend or me going there. I don't know, he may be a lovely guy but I just don't feel my heart is in travelling 8 hours round trip plus spending a fortune on fuel + dating things

stapeley

:j Maybe be okay for a:j one off ! there gotta be someone closer . good luck

Squirrel29

I have sent a text and said I can't commit to a long distance relationship and see no point in progressing, it all a bit rushed.. he has only had my number a day or two and sent a couple of texts, now he has been texting saying he has been thinking about me all day.. alarm bells are ringing!!!:eek::eek:

always_amazed

Oh my; I'd stay away. Sounds a bit, erm, like the type of guy you need to stay away from: Not that you aren't wonderful and super and perfectly entitled to be worshipped, but it does sound a bit much!!
Anyway, if you are going to start dating it's a million times better if you meet someone yourself, then you don't feel like you have to keep it going for the sake of your mate!
If you ever want to start a thread on the ins and outs of DFW dating; I'll join in. Currently like bloke but do not know how to tell him, how to tell if he likes me, and if anything happened how to explain that my fiscal circumstances limit me to a DVD and a home cooked meal. In my house with my family and cat. Great.

Zazen999

Hi.
If you aren't absolutely chomping at the bit to see him, then why bother? And if he does want to see you - let him travel - not the other way around.

You have a life so if he can't fit in with you - he's not worth seeing anyway...enjoy the pottering whilst you can!

ZTD

Squirrel29 wrote: »

I have sent a text and said I can't commit to a long distance relationship and see no point in progressing, it all a bit rushed.. he has only had my number a day or two and sent a couple of texts, now he has been texting saying he has been thinking about me all day.. alarm bells are ringing!!!:eek::eek:

Your friends will have hyped you up to the ceiling - you supermodel you...

Would a relationship take you out of your comfort zone?

izzybusy23

Hi there

I lived in cheshire and my now DH lived in Bristol. He put 200 miles each week on his car and £50 fuel in the tank for 18 months... and he was in debt, BUT some things are more important than money. We now live together and got married in Dec and chipping away at our debt.

All depends on how keen are you on this guy.. then take it from there. If it works out then share the travelling, or book a train as booking weeks in advance is vastly cheaper!

Good luck.

moneydesperate_x

Hi
Having read this thread, to be honest it sounds like you dont really want a relationship at the moment?
You do what you want to do, its your life, and when Mr Right comes along, you probably wont think twice about seeing him no matter how far away he is.
I would be worried if he only had my number two days and said he was thinking about me all day, nutter springs to mind!!!!!!

Good Luck whatever you decide.