A Home but not much else, what would u do

EdInvestor

sebastianj wrote: »

Yes I have worked very hard all my life to provide for the family. The fact is that I am beginning to feel that I have not done much else, I guess this is life... My wife was a lecturer but after marriage she decided to be a housewife and look after the children and suddenly 30years have past and emotionally we find ourselves in the same mode as we started from. I know It is a SAD life to have but what else can you do.

Gosh you sound so gloomy.

We have had some holidays, some good memories and some not so good. May be I need to go somewhere and do some charity work but feel trapped and not being able to go any where.

Are you trapped, unable to go anywhere because of lack of money?

If so, the obvious thing to do is sell your house, buy something cheaper outright and invest the rest of the money to provide a bigger income.Then you can enjoy yourselves spending the extra income (and some of the capital as well, if necessary.

You would still have a house to leave to the children when you die.They don't have any legal right or ownership of the property now.What does your wife think? I can't see the point in making legal changes to the ownership of the home at the moment.

whitewing

Hi Sebastianj,

You do sound a bit down. Come and join us on the Live on £4000 in 2008 challenge on the debtfree wannabe board (not everyone on the challenge is in debt). You can have some fun on a small - very small! - amount of money and then perhaps spend the rest of the year reflecting on what you want to get out of life before you make any radical changes. Hope to see you soon, we are a very nice upbeat bunch there!

Farway

I agree with edinvestor, can't see point of making legal changes, keep house in your name, sell & downsize and use the money for your enjoyment

I have buried my mother last week, she would not spend on simple things like days out or decent TV set. Now I have her money but would much rather she had spent it on her self, make sure you do not make that mistake

sebastianj

You all have been so kind, very many thanks. Mikebythesea I will check the link out.
Farway, I am touched by what you said about your mother. I think in the past the priority has been to survive and like my parents who worked hard to survive could not bring themselves to waste money on things so called 'leisure'.
Whitewing thanks for the invitation, it sounds exciting pls.allow me to sort myself out.

EDInvestor always to the point, I will most definitely make some decision by the end of this month. I am not really trapped because of cash as it does not take a lot to go on holidays. I think it is more to do with the management of the household, paying bills, remember this and that, what will happen if I go away etc. It sounds crazy as I used to train people in management and now I am feeling this gloomy, may be it is a phase that will pass.

rgd seb

Mike_by_the_Sea

Hi Seb

I'm sure the phase will pass - good luck for the future and don't forget to enjoy yourself.


"If life were just, we would be born old and achieve youth about the time we'd saved enough to enjoy it." Jim Fiebig

missile

I am sure you encouraged your management trainees to plan ahead? May I suggest you do the same. Decide what are your goals and objectives, then make a plan how you are going to achieve them.

margaretclare

I completely agree with Tattycath above.

A house worth £400K? Must be quite big then? Possibly inconvenient as you get older - stairs etc?

What would I do? I'd discuss with OH, and we'd plan to sell it and 'downsize' to somewhere more convenient, more user-friendly for one's older years. Do something that you really want to do, something that will interest you both, something that you'll enjoy for your future. Taking holidays is not always a fulfilling occupation, because you just come back to the same old thing. You need something more meaningful than that.

Once 'the children' are grown up they are no longer children. There is no automatic God-given right for them to have lifelong access to the home they grew up in. Once children grow up it is time for them to find their own homes.

I wouldn't want to tie it all up in knots which is what Mike-by-the-sea seems to be suggesting. That way, the house can end up being a huge millstone around your necks and can create resentment. I would also not want to die and leave the house to 'the children' for them to quarrel over. Some may want to live in it, others may want 'their share' of the value of it. Not an appealing scenario.

HTH

Margaret

sebastianj

Thanks again every one. Margaret,Tatycath many thanks for your sound advice. House is average but pricey being in London. We are now looking at the possibility of downsizing and perhaps buy a smaller cheaper property somewhere in UK and may be one in Canada, where my wife's sister lives.

My children are all graduates now and will find their own world, money/ property helps but is not a main issue. It is just me who does not want any thing to go to waste, as you rightly said (I worked hard for it).

thanks again,
seb

PasturesNew

If you sell a £400k home and buy a £250k one, putting £150k in the bank, that money in the bank earns about £560/month after (basic) tax. Add to that the savings in running a larger home (less maintenance, less insurance, less council tax) and you're soon looking at saving £700/month.

You can do so much with that extra cash. Enjoy it, help the kids out... all sorts.

lizzo

Hi Seb, you mentioned that you feel trapped, and not necessarily from the money issues. That is a horrible feeling, and it sounds a bit as though it is effecting your motivation in life. Maybe if you followed some the super advice given, and downsized, it might inspire you, change is good as a rest and all that! And as you said, perhaps some voluntary work, would help motivation too. Good Luck!