Please help i can't sleep for worrying

lostalot

Hi everyone,its taken me a long time to face up to reality but things are so bad i dont know what to do .
Please dont judge me on the first problem as i feel so bad about it but i have a gambling problem big time. I know this sounds crazy but i haven't gambled for a week and i am honestly not bothered.
My main problem is the debts i have mainly from gambling.
I am not sure what i need to do here but i think a list of everything owed and income will help you understand how bad things are , so here goes,

Income £1100-£1250 per month

Debts
Credit cards £16000
Mortgage £44000 (house worth about £85-95000)
Secured Loan £13000
Unsecured loan £11800

Outgoings
Mortgage £338
Loan £216
Sec loan £160
Credit cards £380
total
£994

Other outgoings eg water gas tv insurances etc just over£200

Total outgoings around £1200 per month

So as you can tell some months there isnt enough coming in to meet all the payments and thats without any food or anything else

I have maxed my cards trying to keep going but now they have run out i dont know what else to do
I have no family to help and i am a single parent aswell

I have kept all this to myself until now and i can't sleep at all
Every waking moment is filled with thought of what can i do next

MY home is all i have left and i have lived here all my life and to lose it would be the last straw for me . The only thing thats keeps me going is the kids.

Please please can someone help

Merlot

Welcome to the board and well done for posting your SOA.

It would help alot if you could break down for your ulitity bills for us and give us the APRs on the debts, do you claim Child Benefit or Income Support etc, if so, please include these as well.

You have come to the right place for help and tomorrow morning there will be numerous people wanting to help, and it would help us if you provided us with the above.

Merlot

juno

Welcome! :hello:

Try not to worry too much. People will be along soon to offer better advice - but they're probably all in bed by now.

Have you considered contacting somewhere like gamblers anonymous for help with your gambling problem? Just admitting it is a big step, but it might help to have some support.

Also have a look through the where to start guide and consider writing a full SOA.

moz86

Hey try not to worry about it too much. There'll be a solution for your monetry problems, I have no doubt about it. If worse came to the worst, you always have that mortgage to fall back on.

Although that would be tough to swallow.

The important thing is you tackle the cause of the problem to avoid getting into further debt. Its good that you havent gambled for a week well done.Could I possibly ask how old you are and m/f?

sophiesmum_2

Hi
If the gambling has been online there is a programme called Gamblock that you can install on your pc that will stop you accesssing any kind of gaming sites.

http://www.gamblock.com/

The money situation can alays be sorted some way but you need to deal with your problem initially. You can get some advice and support from gamblers anonymous or i think there is another called gamcare or something similar where you can access counselling.
Just googled and found it http://gamcare.org.uk/ I have read posts by others on this site that have been helped by their counselling.
No one here is about to judge you, this site is about support and it is hard to admit you have a problem and need help.You have taken the hardest step asking for help.

Although things seem really bad at the moment there is always a solution. It's not easy and its not quick but if you take advice on where you can cut down and what to prioritise you can get your debts sorted, but you really need to deal with the gambling first.
You are in a better position than some people as you do have equity in your property, but hopefully it won't get that bad and other solutions can be found.
There will be lots more people around tomorrow to help, take care.In the meantime cut up the cards asap.

Adrasteia01

I agree with Sophiesmum other than about the credit cards. If you need them to subsist on and put food on the table for now, then don't cut them up. When you can get by without them, and that time WILL come, then cut them up.

Tamara

stapeley

Can you transfere balances on cards to a % ? If you do that cut the others up, and do not increase the limits . Have you dafaulted on any loans , c/c ,s ?

stapeley

Also the advice on the gambling is good ,I should know, I work in a betting shop .You will never win yourself out of trouble ! Bookies make 22 % profit per week ! turnover £20,000 profit £4400 per week . This has shot up since they put in ROULETTE machines some shops get £1000 a week profit out of each machine ! Please ring G A . BEST WISHES

lostalot

Hi again everyone, and thanks for taking the time to try and help.
I think a bit more info might help so here goes

A third of my income is wages and the rest is made up of tax credits , child tax credits, maintenance and child benefit

Apart from the debts and mortgage payments other direct debits are
rounded up or down

Gas £30
Elec £30
Water £41
Tv licence £12
Car insurance £24
Buildings and contents £42
Insurance to pay off mortgage £12
Life insurance £18

There is no money left for anything else and thats why i have had to max my cards to buy food clothes petrol etc

My council tax is covered by a friend as i help out with housework

I haven't missed a payment ever yet

Now i have no money at all and cant even imagine food shooping never mind anything else
I know this is all my own fault
Just to make matter worse and i swear this is the truth my ex rang earlier and he pays me weekly but now has to pay monthly starting now and i have to wait 5 weeks for it as his circumstances are changing

I guess thats payback for all my wrong doing

Please can someone suggest anything as i cant deal with this anymore. The kids are in bed and now is my usual crying session as i hold it it all day
Sorry about going on Thanks

poet123

Do you have any friends or family you can confide in? you need to talk to someone urgently. Try not to panic. I cant offer any concrete help but wanted to offer some sympathy,and the knowledge that there is also someone at the end of the PC no matter what time of day. Please try to get some help.

kpey

There are so many people on here that are going to jump to help you so believe me you are going to get out of this!

I am not one of the experts but in the meantime try a bit of uswitch.com for your utilities etc. A small saving but a saving none the less.

And don't say things like "i swear this is the truth". We believe you! You will not be judged on here! I promise you things will begin to look better once the guys on here start sharing their knowledge

AND don't apologise! You are not going on, you are asking for advice and that's exactly what DFW is all about! It's all good, people get in a lot worse situations before they start to address it and you have taken the first step