Can I help my brother get out of debt using my good credit record?

skylight

I haven't even read the other responses.

But NO NO NO NO NO NO.


I know that you love your brother, we all do. (Not yours!!!) But this is your credit rating and your future at stake.

Getting a loan to cover his debts will not help his psychological aspect of debt or over-spending/budgeting and everything that goes with it. And wiping his slate clean wont' help at all.

If he doesn't pay (even ONCE) it could reflect on your credit score. If he doesn't or can't pay, then the entire loan will be down to you. Legally you are both responsible for the WHOLE amount if you both sign and they always come after the one who has something to lose (like you - good rating/mortgage/home......)

I am not suggesting that he will renage on the payments wilfully, but money does funny things to people, as you have seen from the upset it has caused your brother. What would it do to him if he cannot pay and you are then forcible in the same boat? How would he deal with those consequences???

What would happen if he cannot pay?? 99.9% of people on DFW are not here because they wilfully overspent. We are here due to circumstance. One thing leads to another, and another and another (as your brother has already found out). Or an accident (god forbid) and he cannot work? Babies come and his money is diverted? Redundancy and finding a new job is not easy - it only takes 1 month out of work before thats another £1000 of bills you are in debt by. Your post reflects YEARS worth of loan. 5 years is an awful long time for everything to go by ticketyboo.

Help support him. CCCS, Payplan or National Debtline to name a few are charities that can help him sort out his debts. You can support him by being there, paying for the odd Lads night out etc, cover petrol to Mum and Dads.

Only lend/get a loan out for a sum you can afford to lose.

Get your brothers backside over to DFW for a good start! And best of luck. xxx

splishsplash

'Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime'.


By 'solving' his problems, you're not really helping him at all. I agree with the other posters, before you decide to do anything at all, sit down with him and have a look at his SoA.
He's being hit by the credit crunch everyone's talking about, and he needs to realise that it's not about covering minimum repayments (or a loan repayment), or even avoiding interest - it's about changing his lifestyle to suit his income. If you can get him to understand that, then you will be giving him something far more valuable than a loan could ever be. At least he now has a reasonably-paying job, so he's in a much better position to deal with the debts he ran up while on low-paid jobs.
It's all well and good now, but in five years, absolutely anything can happen. As others have said, only lend what you're prepared to say goodbye to. If this loan will mean you can't buy/change a car, build an extension/put in central heating/ whatever, will you still feel as close to your brother, or will you start resenting him for putting you in an awkward position?
Good luck with your decision, you've already been put in a sticky spot, as you say, it's a tricky one.

moneydesperate_x

Hi

Having read all the other threads I have to say the same.
He really does need to sort it out for himself, otherwise how will he learn not to do it again. I was given money to clear my debts, and i have to say it was the worse thing i ever did (dont get me wrong i was very grateful but i just kept spending). I am now with CCCS on a debt management plan and sorting it out for myself and having to deal with it (and some of its Sh*t but its my wakeup call).
Give him this website address and get him to sign up for DWF, it will be the best thing you will ever do for him.

I just wish i found this website a few years ago!

dancingfairy

Sometimes the things we have to do for the best are the hardest things to do. Sometimes you have to help people find their own way out of their problems. Only you can make the right decision. Just make sure you get it drawn in a contract if you do lend him some money and think about what will happen if it all goes wrong. I wish you well with what is a very tough decision.

smithywilko

At our LBM I shared our debt problems with my parents, and they were desperate to help us. They were not financially able to pay off the debts, nor would I have wanted them to, and the amount was so huge they couldnt get an unsecured loan to cover it all.

However, they have offered for us to live with them for two years, paying a tiny percentage of rent compared to the mortgage we were paying when we owned our flat, while we throw all our available income at clearing our debts.

I am not saying this is the answer for everyone. But what I am trying to say is that there are other ways of helping, without just finding the money from somewhere to pay off the debts.

nickm_2

Hi Dizz,

It's great that you wish to help your brother..... BUT he really needs to sort this out for himself in order for him to learn his lesson, I know this sounds harsh, but guess what 4 years ago I was in a similar plight with a business that went pearshaped, after a lot of hassle from bailiffs etc, I contacted the CCCS (Consumer Credit Counselling Service) and they were Great, they drew up a debt management plan and basically stuck it to the credit card Co's (food & bills-boy did that lot soon add up!!) in essence the interest is frozen, YEP frozen while the DMP is running, now I am debt free and able to breathe again, so yes it will hurt, he won't be able to get credit until it's all repaid, But this will be the turning point, as an aside I would heartily recommend an excellent book by Rob Parsons, called The Money Secret, it is essential reading to anyone experiencing debt problems, or who wishes to ensure they won't.

ISBN No 0-340-86277-7

Regards Nick.:A

moneysavingmumofone

Hi
I wouldnt reccomend getting a loan out for family, i got a provident loan out for my sister for £500 and it was a nightmare. Some weeks she didnt have the money to pay and she didnt understand why i was panicking about it! It was me who had to tell the provident man that i didnt have the money! And me who'd get in trouble for not paying it.

mummytofour

What if he looses his job? Personally you sound like such a fabby person, but I think that maybe giving him the number of the CCCS would be useful...

fc123

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=145

I read this the other day. I wish I had read this 4 years (or more ) ago.
Perhaps get him to read it??

Hope you resolve this difficult dilemma. i think he would be better coming onto this site too but I don't think he has had an LBM yet!!

Good luck!!:D

maz1964

NO NO PLEASE do take full advice and listen to the help given by everyone

hiya you sound like a very good friend too, but im living the nightmare at the moment of helping out a friend with what you have been asked to do.

My first post here today but have been looking at all the posts this year and not yet sent any comments. Still learning and the full realisation of your position has in effect helped me today to realise my light bulb moment. This is my first post but felt i totally understood where you are coming from.

Ive helped my friend out with her mortgage payments last year and now im the one paying the credit card payments off which has caused me to have missed payments, creditors calling me and writing to me. I have my own debts too and now it has all snowballed into a big mess. Her husband appears to deny the debt and that its my friends responsibility to pay me back not his yet its their house. I now find myself unable to access any of the zero cards which i had and had paid her mortgage with which would have helped me solve my own debt faster.
Reading all the previous comments from others, they have in fact helped you and me today, so thanks to all.
I have no paperwork of any sort to verify the payments only the payments made to their mortgage company. How this stands up in any legal way i have no idea, and like you just wanted to ensure as a friend i could help, i helped so they didnt lose their home to the baliffs and have 3 kids homeless. BIG BIG lesson now learned charity does begin at home ,,,,,, for me and my family first.

So, my firm reply to you is read all the comments and try and help him to help himself first, the statement of account is needed by him and then we can all help him adjust his spending.

The very real threat of you losing your house is also the pickle im now in, im behind with 2200 pounds with my mortgage and now have to pay extra to resolve and try and get my soa on here and ask all these wonderful people to help me too.

I hope that if you can help him sort out his debt problem he will learn to properly manage his money and that he will never be in this position again - i know family is perhaps different to friendships but you really dont want money to come between you and it could then affect the rest of the family.

Please please learn from my silly big huge mistake - its been a huge learning curve for me and ive questioned myself over this, although my friend has said she will ensure the debt is paid which i have to beleive her , as i have no option, i have no respect for her husband now. BUT WHEN, ???? in the meantime the debt is in my name and ime being chased.

Their debt is 12,000.00 pounds, so from a tired but now much wiser lady do not do anything rash.
I wish you all the best and keep posting so we can all help in any way we can.

Ciao Maz

will get all my papers ready to do my SOA and get my life back on track.:eek: