Legality in financial order

UnicornGirl81

Hello,

After a 6 year divorce with my ex and having co parented to some degree for almost 5 years. I am experiencing difficulties with my ex.
Mainly regarding safety and welfare of the 2 younger ones. When I have brought up concerns and said that if things don’t stop at his home I will have to review whether I deem it reasonable and safe for them to return and if I don’t then they will have to stay with me.
We have a financial remedy order which we both signed through the courts. In a section of this it says that the children will spend equal amounts of time at both houses. He is saying that this is a court order an I cannot go against it and stop the children from going to his.

So the question I’m asking really is, does this quantify as a legally binding order or would it need to be a child arrangement order?

Thanks in advance :)

Ms_Chocaholic

Whether it's a legally binding order or not (it's usually a Child Arrangements Order - Section 8) he could then apply to the Court for a CAO. What are the concerns regarding "safety and welfare". I also presume you are still allowing the children to go even though you have concerns as you have stated "if things don't stop" which doesn't fit really as if you were really concerned for their safety you would stop sending them.

UnicornGirl81

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82160873#Comment_82160873

I will myself be applying for a CAO, I’m spending today gathering evidence from schools etc of the concerns which are drug use at the home, police searches for the drug use/suspicion dealing from eldest child which apparently moved out and is homeless but stays there occasionally. School are not aware of the drugs.
The other concerns from myself and schools are cleanliness of special needs child, unhealthy eating with takeaways most nights resulting in large weight gains of children, special needs child left unattended, other child not going to school for various excuses and dad lies to get an authorised absence. I have addressed these issues with ex and have been ignored. Yes I have sent the children to him as he’s threatened that the 50/50 is a court order which I cannot withhold the children. I didn’t want to break the law so that’s why I’m trying to find out if the 50/50 stated in the financial remedy order letter from his solicitor is legally binding.

silvercar

Nightmare situation when someone is trying to support their eldest with drug issues at the same time as caring for younger children, what do you do when the eldest stays with you at a time when you also have the younger children?

Albermarle

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82160938#Comment_82160938

Presumably with a special needs child, then social services will be aware of the family. You could inform them of your concerns, they may already be aware of some of the issues.

However unlikely you would get any real feedback due to privacy issues.

Ms_Chocaholic

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82160938#Comment_82160938

I'm confused why you would apply for a CAO unless the children's father has said he won't return them to you.

How old are all the children. It seems their dad is struggling with caring for them all and the elder one too. Although the concerns have been noted by school they have not led the school making a referral to Children's Services so it is more a chaotic home with dad due to a number of issues including the elder child's drug use which is putting strain on them rather than a case of neglectful behaviour.

Could you maybe come to a different arrangement where the children's dad has your disabled son/daughter on a different weekend occasionally to reduce the strain and he could devote more time to him/her at that time too.

UnicornGirl81

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82161111#Comment_82161111

Sad to say that I don’t have the eldest child to stay unfortunately my ex did everything he could to make our relationship extremely strained when we first separated. The child has lived with dad since the separation, dad allowed him to smoke cannabis and now he’s moved on to harder drugs. I speak with the eldest child and see them occasionally but it’s few and far between. I took them in, got them clean and after 4 months they left to go back and live with dad. They have only stayed once at my new home, brought drugs in to my home so I’ve not allowed him back. If they genuinely wanted help I’d give everything to help but they don’t admit there’s an addiction sadly.

UnicornGirl81

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82161138#Comment_82161138

I spoke with social myself today, they didn’t seem particularly interested to be perfectly honest. Said they loaded the information on the system and it will be reviewed.

Jude57

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82161844#Comment_82161844

It's likely that the person you spoke to was not a qualified social worker but an admin. officer. My sister, on leaving nursing after 40 years, got a job working with social workers as admin. support and part of her job was dealing with phone calls, logging the information into the system where it would be flagged up and reviewed by a qualified social worker. I'm sure you'll understand that social workers are often out of the office visiting clients, attending Court, attending case conferences and more so they don't usually answer general incoming calls. Hopefully when your report is reviewed you'll be contacted by a social worker and it will be taken from there.

That said, I'd be looking at what timescales the social work department has for responding to reports, probably on their website, and keep chasing it up if they don't respond within that timescale.

lincroft1710

How old is the eldest child?