Re-gaining access to marital home after separation

Porthgwarra

Need advice on how to handle a separation, retrieve possessions and work out how to divide joint assets.

• The backstory first. Met my current wife in 2021, married in August 2023.
• She has two children from her first marriage, now aged 18 and 16.
• I have a daughter too from a previous marriage, now aged 13.
• We have no children together, and I live with her in a semi-detached house which is in her name (although currently I'm not residing in the marital home).
• Over a two-year period, things fell apart between her and me, with several heated arguments.
• The eldest called their dad and complained, and in turn he called social services.
• A period ensued thereafter where the boys were not at home (with dad) for a week.
• In that time, my wife was understandably upset at not having the boys with her, and it, together with a friend, forced me to leave; otherwise, the boys were not going to be allowed back, allegedly (I’ve had no contact from social services).
• I stayed in a hotel for a few days before finding accommodation and a job (I’d been redundant since Jan ’26)

I approached the local police, and they advised me to write a letter detailing that I'd like to enter the home, discuss possessions, etc. and to hand-deliver the letter so I'm sure it got there. My wife acknowledged receipt a couple of days ago.

My wife doesn’t want to see or speak to me and insists on me going through a friend of hers in order to retrieve possessions. I need advice on:

1. Do I still have rights to be in the home? There are no orders against me.

2. How can I get a ‘walk-through’ of the property to see/discuss/propose what I can take and also discuss the content of question 3 below.

3. I have spent considerable money on improving/ furnishing and adding to the home in the last 5 years: a completely new garden, pergolas, fire pits, plants. Plus, interior furniture, appliances, decorating and furnishings. How do I claim money in respect of these items, which will remain at the property, but in the case of the garden have probably added value to the house?

4. Can anyone help in terms of how to calculate rough estimates of how much I could be owed, e.g. if a TV cost £2000, what could my claim be if my wife were to keep it? Is it as simple as adopting a capital depreciation formula?

5. Should I get the Police involved in a civil presence capacity?

6. Is it worth filing a Form FL401 as an Occupation Order to be able to enter the home at least and see what is mine and what I can take? How long does that take to action?

I realise there’s lots of content there, so many thanks in advance for answers and thoughts.

sheramber

I would suggest you contact a divorce lawyer, rather than the police, for advice.

They would be able to advise you what you are entitled to.

Brie

I think it would be best you talk to a solicitor or at least some sort of legal adviser to get a proper answer. Otherwise you'll be getting a lot of guesses from a bunch of strangers.

My guess is that you will need to negotiate with your wife to reclaim some money for purchases. Even though she owns the home you are married, albeit for a relatively short time, and should, I believe, be entitled to a split of possessions. This could include any savings accounts you both hold, jointly or separately, as well as pensions and physical assets like the house and all that's in it. Given the short relationship I would suspect that no court would make this a 50/50 split but it could be a starting point for discussions. I would make a list of everything you can think of that you bought/paid for yourself, calculate depreciation and then expect half of that. Factor in that you were (unlikely) paying rent. Paying for standard bills (gas/electric/tax) might be considered your "rent".

Albermarle

Will you actually be getting divorced, as usually as part of a divorce there is an agreed financial split?

As said you really need a solicitor with experience in relationship breakdowns.

sheramber

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82109420#Comment_82109420

For a short marriage under 2 years, there would be a clean break with each party returned to their financial position before the marriage.

Porthgwarra

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82109535#Comment_82109535

Thank you, the marriage itself is now 3 years.

Porthgwarra

Brie, thank you so much for your reply. Two queries:

• In terms of calculating depreciation, is there a standard formula for such calculations in these scenarios?
  
• I actually did pay rent each month from the time we started living together in February 2022 and also towards the bills. How would this affect any claims, do you think?
  
  Many thanks.

WYSPECIAL

With not being on the deeds and being married have you registered a Home Rights Notice? That will stop her selling it or getting a mortgage on it without you knowing.

grannypep

I used to work in a financial services organisation that specialised in mortgages. You need to contact a Solicitor, I'd say. You describe quite a complex situation. Sometimes mediation, which sometimes Solicitors suggest once they know the circumstances, can help a couple negotiate an outcome they can both live with.