How Do You Get Through!!!!!

hitback

Just had big row with husband! We are on a DMP and have £47 to last us until he is paid on 15th! Just found packet of cigs in his pocket after he denied he had spent money on them, and he has now gone out for a drink after saying he thinks he has won £20 at work, bit won't know until tomorrow! So now we have £37 left!! He lied about spending the money on fags which is bad enough and then says he lied because he knows I will have a go about it...cant think why that is!! I'm so fed up, have been sorting everything out writing letters to creditors to freeze interest charges etc, and now fighting against CCJ received, and don't know to get it through to him!!
Any ideas? Am seriously fed up now with him lying!

MoneyGypsy

Hi,

it is frustrating isn't it. I am no good at how I approach my OH, but I have a suggestion.

How about you blindside him by taking a completely different approach? He won't be expecting it. Something along the lines of telling him you love him and that you appreciate all the support he has given you already and all the things he does. Say sorry for being a bit off sometimes but it gets you stressed. Say you want to work on this together and are open to suggestions from him on things you could do as well. Whatever you do don't get angry.

Might not work straight away but according to a book I read this is a better way to get someone to come round to your way of thinking.

Still trying to master it myself. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

moneysavingmumofone

no solution sorry but just thought id let you know your not alone! my oh gets cigs and i tell him thats it until payday as we just cant afford it and he agrees then as soon as theyve run out he comes to me moaning and usually ends up using money thats for a debt repayment or bill and IM the one who has to sort it out! thinks he secretly resents the fact that its HIS wages that pay all the bills.

immoral_angeluk

I'm sorry but if he keeps lying he's just going to end up with oyu not trusting him....

mummytofour

Yes I know where you are really i do. mIne doe snot lie but hes snipping about things to do with money and it make sme feel !!!!. My dh works miles from home and spends almost 400 pcm on his train ticket, he coudl work close to home PART TIME and we would be better off yet still he does nothing to change his job. DH at the mo has not bank account and he had a go the othe day about this, like ist my bloody fault! He could go and open one but he has not, he exspects me to do it! Men eh?

Alisonbel

OMG we've just had excatly the same row! Think there was a grand crisp packet opening at our local pub he had to attend or some other lame excuse. I've just had to a weeks shopping on £8.50 really P's me off. Bl**dy men!

hitback

Thanks everyone! Feel bit better about things, I don't trust him when it comes to cigs but thought he would've been bit more thoughtful after I had a cancer scare just before Xmas! Yeah I guess it is a man thing, just annoys the hell out of me especially when I;m making sacrifices!!!

spud30

My DH is much better than he used to be.

I used to transfer money from our current account to a secret online savings account that he had no access to so it looked like we had less money than we actually did.

hitback

Hm, we have a savings account, and I do try to stick something away each month, but usually end up putting it back into current account. Good news is DH not bothered to set himself up with online banking access, so at least have some control, just not when he's out and about!!! Wish someone could invent a cash card which shouts at the user if they try using it to buy fags or money for a drink when you don't have it...now there's an idea!!!

MoneyGypsy

spud30 wrote: »

My DH is much better than he used to be.

I used to transfer money from our current account to a secret online savings account that he had no access to so it looked like we had less money than we actually did.

Hee, hee, love it.

Although in the past it would probably have been my OH doing that to me.

Lol.

Alisonbel

Love the shouting card idea, mine says he hasn't drawn any money out of account but every entry is The Red lion or petrol with 5.47 on the end for fags. I feel guilty going to starbucks once a month. Perhaps I'll transfer the money into my account so he's card get declined can you imagine his face, as the advert says, PRICELESS!!!!!