Gifted deposit problem

retiredbanker1

Can You not put a second charge on his property?

Your chances of winning in court are slim and you could incur costs but any attempt to sell or re-mortgage means they would have to communicate with you.

silvercar

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82053388#Comment_82053388

I can’t see the son agreeing to that. Why would he?

ACG

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82053357#Comment_82053357

Courts tend to go on the balance of probabilities I believe.

If you have something that shows an intent to repay, then I would crack on and press ahead. Without it, I would have said your potentially throwing good money after bad.

On a side note, if your relationship has not been great and the only way it is improving is by giving them something, I think its probably best to walk away from that relationship (as hard as it must be).

MacMickster

I wouldn't suggest going anywhere near a court with this. Starting your case by standing in front of a judge and effectively saying "We conspired to commit mortgage fraud together but he didn't keep to his end of the deal" may not bring the result that you want.

Sorry to say it but you are best writing this off to experience, as well as writing a new will.

chunkybutt1992

I can't put a second charge on the property because the paperwork I signed removes that right. The legal position isnt clear cut and I will probably have to get some legal advice to clarify my situation. I have already decided to get ties with them as the whole situation has become too distressing even though a grandchild who I barely know is involved. Thankfully I have other supportive/loving children and grandchildren who also no longer have a relationship with him. It's just sad to have to acknowledge that my son's behaviour has led to this.

QrizB

The legal position isnt clear cut

Everything you've written here seems pretty clear cut; the gift was a gift, you both provided signed statements to that effect, so your son owes you nothing.

Smudgeismydog

I’m sorry this has happened, perhaps it was a bit naive.

As other posters have noted, unfortunately, I think it’s best to walk away. Pushing for repayment will undoubtedly cause you more heart ache, and reduce any potential for rekindling the relationship in the future. If you do receive any money from them, it will be a bonus.

Focus on enjoying the relationships with your children and grandchildren.

silvercar

Sounds like you committed to lending something you couldn’t afford. Did you lend to your other children and did they pay you back promptly?

It’s sad that your relationship is transactional.

chunkybutt1992

Thank you everyone for your input. We have finally come to a resolution and some of my money has been returned to me with a timescale for the return of the rest. It appears remaining calm but firm has paid off. Whether I'm able or want to rescue our relationship remains to be seen.

kingstreet

For future readers there are lenders who would have accepted this as a loan so the gift 'deception' wouldn't have been necessary, protecting the OP.

This is the importance of the correct advice.