Gifted deposit problem

chunkybutt1992

I gifted my son and his wife a small sum of money to help them purchase a house although it was always their intention to repay me as I'm not wealthy. I signed the relevant paperwork saying I didn't want the money back. I get the impression this is all quite common. Unfortunately quite quickly after they'd had the money my relationship with them deteriated. A timescale to repay me had been agreed and when that arrived I sent a reminder that some of the money was due back to me. My son is now saying that the timescale I've stipulated wasn't agreed and that he can't or won't start repaying me. I have very little savings and although the money isn't huge I do need it. The worse thing about this is I actually feel I've been scammed by my own son. I know I signed the forms but at the end of the day I've helped him commit mortgage fraud. What options are open to me if any or do I have to put this down to a bad experience and move on?

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6674478/gifted-deposit-problem

If it was truly a gift, not a loan... Then he's not under an obligation to repay.

Personally I'd move on - perhaps cut him out of your will.

flaneurs_lobster

It was a gift, you (and they?) signed a declaration to say it was so.

I don't think you have any (legal) recourse here.

Cross them off the Xmas card list.

chunkybutt1992

You've confirmed what I really knew although research tells me I could report him for mortgage fraud which would cause him a whole lot of grief and could result him him losing his home, but it would make me no better than him. I agree writing him out of my will is probably my only course of action

Keep_pedalling

Their mortgage company would not have accepted this as part of their deposit had you not declared this as a gift, but in doing so you have given them documentation proof that this was not a loan (the alternative way of looking at this is that it was a loan and the three of you have commited mortgage fraud).

If you are a home owner and are old enough you could always take out equity release and spend a chunk of your son’s inheritance as revenge.

chunkybutt1992

I am a homeowner so writing him out of my will is my best option although I won't rush into anything as I need to let my emotions settle first. My hunch is that he's overstretched himself and sees this as an option especially as we're not particularly close. I may have to be the bigger person here and suggest a payment plan we can agree on.

Keep_pedalling

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82053241#Comment_82053241

it is difficult, it sounds like you were keen to help and he was keen to except help but neither of you really thought through the possible consequences. I would try to find a compromise and avoid estrangement which is no good for anyone especially if grand children are involved.

Flugelhorn

I doubt he will agree on a payment plan as he knows he doesn't have to pay up. Just tell him that you are leaving everything to a dear friend or a charity

ACG

They've not committed mortgage fraud if they have no intention of paying it. You both told the lender there is no intention of paying it back and that is what is happening.

Assuming what you say is true, then they have probably broken a contract/theft.

Do you have anything in writing (text/whatsapp) where they advised they would pay you back or where you have messaged asking for payment and they have said they cant pay you back yet? It sounds like they are not disputing the money they owe, just the timeframes when they would pay it back?

I think your only option is to start the legal process - formal request for money followed by a letter before action and then small claims court. But the outcome would be dependent on what evidence there is they agreed to pay you back.

Or do you have family who can help mediate/sort it out?

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82053302#Comment_82053302

I wouldn't bother telling him in advance, ensure your will /an accompanying letter of wishes makes it clear you consider the contribution to the deposit as his inheritance which was paid to him early.

chunkybutt1992

I probably have text messages but certainly nothing formal in writing. To be honest I think I've been a bit naive in thinking that by doing this It would improve our relationship. At the end of the day we agreed a time frame and he has gone back on that even though he knows I need the money returned for a specific reason.