Overwhelmed Bumbling

Oceans7

Third time lucky? Third diary for me - definitely sticking to this one!! The fact that I've not stuck with the previous ones pretty much sums up why I am in such a mess - so unorganised and easily side tracked. When it gets hard I stick my head in the sand and do my very best impression of an ostrich, this has probably been all of my adult life.

I am slowly facing facts and starting to tackle debts. I have no idea how much I owe (would guess in the range of £35K maybe) and am going to add it up slowly over the next few weeks - if I try and do it all in one go I know I would mentally not cope. This time I am going to play the long game.

I started a new job today so it seemed like a good idea to start my diary the same day. I called council tax and set up a new instalment plan which starts next week and I also made a new instalment plan with the water company which again starts next week. Phone calls cause me a huge amount of anxiety.

I am currently in a failed IVA so I have taken some advice and my plan of action is to contact the debts and arrange minimum payments whist trying to save to offer full and finals - I think this is what they are called.

I am also hoping this diary will help regulate me with debt repayments plus my day to day life as I seem to be overwhelmed with just about everything. My house is an absolute tip and I have been trying to do it, but I think I am probably very unrealistic in what I can achieve and then give up when I can't do it. Things that others seem to do effortlessly every day seem to be huge tasks to me - every day things like washing up. I don't know whats wrong with me but I really cannot continue like this anymore.

Smudgeismydog

Congrats on the new job, hope you had a great day

Yes, it would seem a perfect time to do this, you sound very positive and motivated to sort things out. I wish you the very best

FootyFanDan

Congratulations on the new job. It can be seen as a fresh start, good luck with getting on top of things

Oceans7

Bit the bullet and arranged minimum payments on 5 debts tonight which feels like a lot. I need to find the rest and make arrangements for them too but I think I will just wait for them to contact me, I must be in a different mindset than ever before as the thought of opening a letter doesn't seem as bad today as it has done in the past. Created a pot for full and final offers if I can save enough.

I know I have some essential purchases to make tomorrow for DD but am hoping for no / low spend days on Wednesday and Thursday. Will try and keep spends for DD as low as possible tomorrow but anticipate it coming to around £100 😔

Oceans7

Feeling deflated tonight. Have had a really good couple of days in new job and was feeling really positive about everything but it will be pay day on Friday from old job and I do not know how I'm going to manage 😔 Am going to have to move money around constantly over the next few weeks to have enough to meet bare essentials. I am going to have a look at DD and see what will be leaving the bank and when - annoyed at myself as this is basic information I should know. Maybe things will be easier with new job as it is monthly pay? was paid 4 weekly before which sometimes messed me up (grasping at straws here - it was me that messed me up!)

I did have a little side hustle but new job does not give me the availability to do that anymore, so those few pennies have now gone. I bought some new trousers this evening for work as I only have one pair and could really do with a second pair but I will return them tomorrow and will make do for now.

Have a very long trip to make at the weekend and am very worried my car will not make it but it is really unavoidable and just adding to my stress. I keep trying to think that in 6 months things might be a little easier?

Sometimes I wonder if I should consider bankruptcy but that scares me.

Smudgeismydog

I’m sorry things are getting on top of you.

Could you list your direct debits on a spreadsheet, or even just a piece of paper with amounts and due dates? I love making a list, I find it really helpful to stop my head worrying about things if I’ve written them down.

I’m sure a monthly pay will be easier to manage with monthly bills.

Regarding the trousers, do you use Vinted? Have you got anything you can sell? You could then use the money from sales to buy things you need.

ArtyJ931

post your SOA on the main DFW board - bankruptcy is nothing to be scared of if you don’t own your own home and if it’s the best option then should be considered. Those knowledgeable people will help

Oceans7

New job is going well, am just ticking over until my first pay day so I can start having some control over my finances. Am still very aware of spending and had a no spend day today - I've seen lots of people having these on the diaries but I never seem to be able to stick to them so my goal is to have 5 this month. I want to give myself goals I can actually achieve otherwise I will just give up. On top of this I am going to take lunch with me every day and not buy lunch at work. I have actually managed this all of last week and today. Tomorrow might be a struggle as I don't think I have very much here to make lunch but I am motivated.

Also tomorrow I want to attempt to cut the grass in the back garden. Its completely overgrown with brambles and weeds and is so bad I don't really know where to start. I have had a quote from a gardener for £50 to cut it back and I was tempted to pay him just so I had a starting point to keep on top of it. Now I've decided to at least try and tackle it myself and if I really can't do it I will have to call him, but I'm going to try hard not to. I also told him it should only take two hours so in reality I should be able to do it in a week shouldn't I? Bit by bit? I think its because I think I should be able to do it all in one go - the same mentality as debt clearing, I fail because I am unrealistic. I want to be able to sit out there and have a nice garden which is something I haven't had for years. If I can cut some back I am going to reward myself by taking a cutting from a shrub in the front garden and trying to grow that.

I wish I could say I have made a start on paying off the debts but I haven't. Maybe I will have a look on the pad thread?

StardewValley

Sending you a big empathetic hug as you sound quite deflated. Celebrate the small wins.. taking lunch to work for a week is no small feat and eventually will become habit. Keep going ❤️

I can identify with lots of your post - in fact I’ve just made my own post seeking help with my overgrown garden! Very much head in the sand syndrome here as well. I had a baby last year and pretty much went into hibernation and I’m just beginning to emerge 13 months later.

Best of luck with the garden tomorrow. I am similar in the sense that if I don’t think I can do a task to 100% perfection then I don’t bother even starting. But that mindset leads to nothing getting done, so.. let’s not aim for perfect, but just aim for better. Do what you can, and please come back to update us!

joedenise

If you have a microwave you can use in work you could just take a decent sized potato and some beans to reheat or even just some cheese or a tin of tuna to have on it. I often used to make a jacket potato for lunch when I was in the office. Made a nice change from a sandwich! Other things like leftovers from the night before are useful too, could even put them into a food flask if you don't have a microwave.

Just keep going with taking your lunch to work and it will soon become the norm. I used to take breakfast and lunch with me as I used to leave home at 5.40 to start work at 8.00am! No way could I eat breakfast before I left. I generally had fruit and yoghurt and occasionally porridge. The instant stuff you make with water can be useful to keep in a desk drawer. Don't know if this is any use to you but hopefully it is.

Oceans7

Thank you for your replies, Gardening didn't happen 😞but I did try! got changed and ran the extension lead out only to find the hedge trimmer doesn't work anymore as its rusted together. The lawn mower is broken as the blade snapped last time I tried to cut the grass. So I am back to square one. Which is the best solution? To try and buy replacement garden tools or pay the man just once to help me get started?

I did take lunch to work today which I am really proud of myself for. Although on the downside I did come home to a speeding ticket 😒

A NSD planned for tomorrow. Will attempt to look over finances more. I will maybe even try to do an SOA