Managing inheritance with friends and family?

justme111

Note: this is my late mum’s account.

My mum died a couple years ago, leaving me a house and savings. I am 21 years old and have just started university, and I am finding it hard to manage this aspect of my life with relationships.

I am in the process of writing a will, just in case something should happen. It has to be signed by two people, and I have asked two of my new friends if they would be willing to do it. They of course agreed, and have been respectful about it, but it means they now know of the house, which I don't feel good about. It's horrible to admit, but financial situation really can drive people apart. I would hate to lose such amazing friends.

I told my sister half about the will too. Again, not happy, as this was meant to be a private matter. It was to cover all bases, not something I wanted even my closest family to know about.

I am worried I am not handling this all correctly, but I have lost my no.1 advisor. What would you guys recommend?

caprikid1

Sorry I am confused you have posting history going back close to 20 years, did you adopt an account or am I missing something ?

justme111

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82038478#Comment_82038478

Hello, yes this is my late mother’s account.

twopenny

No one needs to know the contents of a will in order to be a witness to the signature. It is to witness your signing/signature is genuine only.

But that horse has bolted.

It shouldn't make a difference to your friendship at this point but it depends who they tell. I had this problem with boyfriends who knew I had a house. Either made them feel inadequate or it was more of a draw than me.

But while you need them now while you are vulnerable you will make other friends as you go and your life changes.

justme111

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82038487#Comment_82038487

Funny you should mention boyfriends, I realised the exact same issue with my ex! For future relationships this topic is a strict no-go.

Thank you. I guess part of me wanted them to know my situation for openness, so I didn’t think things through well enough. I trust they will not go around telling the proverbial village.

Hopefully it will all be fine, I’m doing the best I can.

Barkin

When signing the will, yourself and the witnesses are only witnessing each others signatures.

There's no reason for the witnesses to see or know the actual content of the will.

If the will was written by a solicitor, they could have witnessed the signing themselves, and friends/family wouldn't even need to know of the existence of a will.

justme111

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82038505#Comment_82038505

Yes, thank you. I did not know this at the time, and it is now too late.

poseidon1

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82038520#Comment_82038520

More importantly at this very early stage of your adulthood, who have you appointed as executors of your estate, and who will benefit on your death?

Emmia

How has the will been written? Have you used a solicitor or have you done it yourself?

Personally I think it's a bit odd if it's solicitor or drafted (which it should be, don't use a will writer or do it yourself as it's easy to get something wrong) for you to use uni friends as witnesses.

It would also be less confusing if you signed up for your own MSE account, rather than taking over your late mum's account.

Pollycat

1. I think you should contact MSE and sort out your own user name as using one from another person will only cause issues down the line.
2. You really didn't need to share the contents of your will with the people witnessing it. But you've done it now so that's that. You can't control information that you've freely given to 3rd parties.
3. 3. You told your 'sister half' (do you mean half sister?) about the will but are not happy that she knows. Again, that was a lapse of judgement on your part if you didn't want her to know.

Going forward, you should try to be less open about your private affairs unless you really want someone to know and aren't going to regret telling them.

As someone asked above:

How has the will been written? Have you used a solicitor or have you done it yourself?

rach_k

I think everybody I know would have just felt sad for you that you'd lost your mum. Owning a house at 21 is unusual, but most people would (I think/hope!) rather have their mum. I'm sorry if that comes across as insensitive.

If they are amazing friends, it won't matter to them. If it does, maybe they're not as great as you think. Perhaps if they're a bit immature or haven't really thought about it, if they ever bring it up in a way you don't appreciate, I would think that a simple "I'd prefer to have my mum" would put things in perspective for them.