So it Begins - The Accountability

badmemory

I don't think you are giving yourself the credit you deserve. If you hadn't taken action when you did you would be in a worse situation now. This is a cause to feel GOOD not bad.

sams247

@badmemory ……. yeah…… true. OK, maybe I'll stop sulking now 😊

sams247

My ADHD and depression kicked in big time and I have had a challenging and needing to be absent week. I am clawing my way back out.

First thing I did this morning was do my midway check on my accounts to see what impact I have had on my debt. It has certainly been a struggle thus far but I'm really pleased that I've managed to shave £289 off of my debts this month. I haven't managed to put anything into savings as I have had too many outgoings to do that. Hopefully next month will be better because I managed to secure some overtime.

I have been applying to different places for zero hours Work in the hope of securing some extra hours here and there when I can't do overtime. I have not been fortunate yet but one never knows.

I actually made a comment on a online forum that advises on pensions and retiring et cetera stating that I was concerned about my finances when I do finally retire. Some of the people in the comments were very helpful but I was, perhaps naïvely, taking aback how many people said that I'd left it too late, I should've started saving before, I've obviously been too frivolous et cetera. These people have no comprehension of what it's like to live permanently struggling with finances. I wish I could say yes I've been frivolous and I obviously didn't need to buy that yacht but…………

Breakfast today consisted of toasted crumpets with sliced peaches on top, a scoop of Greek yoghurt on top of that and a hefty drizzle of maple syrup over the top. I am not certain of the health benefits but I can tell you it was delicious. Lunch was jacket potato with the leftovers of yesterday's butter ‘chicken’ curry, and tea tonight is rice mixed with peppers, sweetcorn, peas and diced onions cooked with fresh prawns. I will probably drizzle over some sweet chilli sauce as well.

sams247

When I went shopping today, I took only cash with me thus enforcing a strict spend code. But, of course, I took more cash along than I was planning to spend originally as a buffer. I did not spend all that I took so I consider that a win. And that is a total money related thing I have done today.

Breakfast was Weetabix with a little bit of sugar and some warm milk. I know it's a hot day, and I know we're baking in the Sun, but sometimes warm milk on Weetabix is very comforting and comfort is what I needed today. Lunch was soup, sometimes I make my own but this was made by Mr Tesco and it was a really nice vegetable soup, I scattered over some grated mozzarella and grated cheddar and had it with a really small side salad of simply tomatoes and cucumbers. Tea was some black cod (because I do eat fish) I wrapped this in tinfoil, put a couple of wedges of lemon in with it, put some mushrooms a handful of sweetcorn and a dab of butter and baked that together. And I had this with mashed potato and broccoli. The juices left from the tinfoil I drizzled over the mashed potato.

sams247

I had another look at my finances, and decided I need to take an even tougher stance in order to get this sorted. Some of the people I owe money to I've agreed certain amounts to be paid to the each month and they've agreed to freeze interest. I think I'm about to upset them as I am going to lower the amounts I am paying to them. Being really serious about affordability I do not think the amount I've agreed to is sustainable at the moment. And, to be blunt, I just don't want to worry each month of can I afford this and what happens if something goes wrong with the car et cetera. I truly need to get some savings into a rainy day fund. 

I have downloaded a couple of letters and read lots of advice on the the step change site and I've read lots on here as well. So I'm comfortable with what I'm doing and what my plan is and I think it's probably more realistic than what I had agreed to before. When I made my agreements, I think I was so glad that they were freezing the interest that I agreed to amount higher than I really should have done. Anyway, onwards and upwards.

The other challenge I am setting for myself, and I know this is going to be incredibly challenging for me mentally and emotionally, I am going to try and last the month living 90% from the cupboard, fridge and freezer. I am preparing myself mentally for this and to some it will seem an easy feet, but I am battling years of feeling great fear when there is no food in the house due to my past, but I have set this challenge for one month only to see how I get on.

Probably based on the above paragraph-I did a lot of batch cooking today and I made some trays of macaroni cheese, I made some tuna pasta bake, and I made some individual lasagne. They are cooling in the kitchen now and I will put them all in the second freezer ready for the month ahead.

Breakfast today was crumpets with fried eggs on top, a simple but really satisfying breakfast. Lunch I made some leek and potato soup, I scattered over some of the mozzarella that was left over from all my baking and I had this with a small roll that I heated in the air fryer quickly. I tend not to eat bread at all as it truly does not agree with me but this one was left over from guests we had the other day and I didn't want to waste it, and I truly wanted to eat it! For tea tonight it's a bit of an adventure as I am trying the juicy marbles version of barbecue ribs. I've never tried them before, I really like their pretend beef so I am hopeful for this. I have prepared some potatoes to be roasted with it and I will also have some vegetables.

sams247

Well day one of the no spend plan went reasonably okay, in that I nearly bought things three times and made myself leave the shop. I truly didn't need any of those things.

I tried the juicy marbles barbecue ribs last night, there was a lot more ‘meat’ on them than I had expected, I bought them on an offer for £6 and thought they would do two meals, they would easily do three for me. So meal number one I covered them in barbecue sauce partway through cooking and I served them with fries, coleslaw, fresh tomatoes, and sweetcorn. The second batch I had in wraps today with salad and mustard mayonnaise. The third lot I have placed in gravy and this will go into the freezer to be made into a roast at a later time.  I'd have to say it was nice, but given the choice I'd buy the beef any time and this may be sometimes, I certainly wouldn't pay full price for it even though it did three good meals.

Breakfast today was chocolate croissants heated in the air fryer, lunch was the wrap and tea tonight is fresh prawns cooked in butter with garlic and I will mix this in with rice peas, sweetcorn, and diced peppers.

sams247

Today I am trying to trace all my past work to see if any of them had a pension scheme that I paid into that I'm not aware of. There is definitely one employer that I think I would have paid into because it's part of the government and I definitely don't have details of any pension from them.  Other employers I think go back to a time when pension contributions weren't mandatory but I'm learning I have signed up to Gretel but so far I have to be unimpressed as it can't even find the pension I do know about.

Today's breakfast was something of a repeat as I had the remaining chocolate croissants with some very cold goats milk. Lunch -  I made an effort to use up some more of the tomatoes I have and I had a cheese and tomato omelette with sweetcorn and a small Caesar salad. Well, I say Caesar salad, it doesn't have any croutons. Tea tonight will be the last of the juicy marbles baby ribs that have been marinating in a rich gravy, I'll make some roast potatoes and I have broccoli and peas to have with this and, I think, I also have a couple of Yorkshire puddings in the freezer so I'll dig those out.