So it Begins - The Accountability

sams247

I have browsed the diaries for a while, and have never really felt the need to participate.  Until now. I have come to realise that it's a really good way to hold oneself accountable, and in order to progress with my grand plan, I certainly need to be accountable.

The last time I was seriously in debt, it was due to my ex getting us into so much trouble that I ended up bankrupt. And I have to say what a relief that was at that time. And I could provide many upon many a reason and excuse and cause and incident as to why I'm back in debt, but here I am. Life just kind of happened and I got through it the only way I felt I could at the time and I acquired debt during that journey. But it's time to take responsibility, face the issue and I think I'm finally in a place where I can seriously begin to tackle that debt and begin to change my behaviours, my thoughts, and my fears in order to not only become debt free but to have a better and more relaxed life.

My diary, because it is written primarily for me to keep a watch on myself, will be looking at the two issues that I need to address in order to set myself free. One is the debt, and the other is my attitude towards food.

Debt 
On this day I owe £12,442. This is made up of a mix of credit cards, money owed to family, and a loan. Having read the Debt Free Roll of Honour pages in their entirety, I have scooped up many of the great ideas and utilised them. And my plan is this:

1. I will build up a rainy day reserve of around £1000 and keep that in my emergency fund savings spot that I have set up in Starling. 
2. I will pay off my debts using the snowboarding plan. Because of things I've already put in place, 99% of my debts are interest free having negotiated long and hard for that. Therefore, I will tackle the ones with interest first. 
3. I will continue to save and will keep up stepping my pension payments so that hopefully by the time I retire I will have at least enough to survive one if not sufficient to live ok on.

Food 
Due to being deliberately malnourished as a child as food removal was used as a commonplace punishment, I have become an adult who is constantly afraid to go without food. This makes me overstock my cupboards and I become almost panic ridden when my freezer and fridge become empty. I am having therapy for this which has diminished the reaction but it still remains. I think the only healthy way to go forward with this is to keep something of a food diary in here as well and in this way learn that actually I am food rich not food poor.

Of course I cannot know if anybody on the planet will ever read this, and I truly don't mind, but if anybody does I can only say that this is the way that I can feel I can accomplish these goals. I've thought about it long and hard and there may be better, more advisable ways and I'm always open to listening to advice but at the end of the day please understand if I do not always take advice offered.

I have set myself a goal of two years. That is not necessarily to say that I will be debt free in two years but I will commit to my plans for two years and then see where I am then.

And to use a most wonderful quote-   So it begins

kity_kitty388

Welcome to the diaries! It takes immense courage to lay everything out so clearly, but public accountability is incredibly powerful. You’ve already done a massive amount of heavy lifting by negotiating 99% of your debt to interest-free and identifying your emotional triggers around food. Your two-year commitment is a solid, realistic mindset. Wishing you the absolute best on this journey we are all rooting for you. So it begins!

Woodstok2000

This is the hardest step, and now you're on the way forwards. You've got this, good luck!!

Smudgeismydog

Welcome, and best of luck, we are all rooting for you x

Chocolatefund

Welcome to the diaries, fellow debt buster!

itsthelittlethings

Good luck!

FootyFanDan

Welcome, it sounds like you are already well on way to fixing things. Good luck

MillQueen

Here and alongside you as a compassionate witness and fellow traveller.

Best of luck as you move towards abundance and away from scarcity.

sams247

What a lovely, generous and warm welcome from you all.  Means a lot to me as I have been so nervous about standing up and stepping out into the open.  Thank you

sams247

Debt

Nothing much to report beyond a feeling of determination.  Payday will be the true start.

Made an Excel Budget sheet.  Made sure all payments for everything is on there, up to date and correct.  

Checked bank accounts - I have £5 in savings in bank Account 1, I think its been there for ages but I’ll leave it there.  Eventually this will become my savings for haircuts and glasses.

Checked my TopCashBack account, placed it in Bookmarks Bar to remind me to start using it again.

Scoured house for things to sell on eBay and Vinted.  Listed 8 items.

Put my name down for overtime next week.

Food

Had a good sort of the freezer, made up some meals for next couple of days from what I have in there. Cancelled online food order.  Then remade it.    Then cancelled it again.   It’s a start. 

Today I have porridge with maple syrup for breakfast, chicken wrap with salad and chilli jam for lunch and 3 bean chilli and rice for tea.  

MillQueen

There's nothing like the satisfaction of updating a spreadsheet - good start!

You have taken loads of positive actions there.

P.S. Maybe it is time to start cutting your own hair….?!