UPDATE: Brother is talking about contesting will with no evidence. Does he stand much of a chance?

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82028406#Comment_82028406

Just focus on the positive advice and support you have had.

Disregard the poster and post you have quoted.

Your brother's emotional response is not understandable and is totally unreasonable.

You have done nothing wrong.

Briansteen50

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82028462#Comment_82028462

Thank you. you're of course correct. I wasn't even going to reply and shouldn't have done. What they say is incorrect and 99% of the other replies make extremely good and very helpful points! <3

Flugelhorn

@Briansteen50 - this is so hard to deal with, you are totally in the right but the whole thing is unsettling - I don't think your sibling will get anywhere following through with this and suspect they will give up soon

Briansteen50

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82028541#Comment_82028541

thank you! I do hope so. Honestly, last few years have been awful seeing mum decline and my own mental health. At this point we just want to get all of the paper work done and focus on grieving. With the original post I just thought "Oh it'll be a few weeks and it'll be done" but now this. It just seems like another mountin to worry about. I think logically after reading these comments, looking online, watching youtube vids etc I know he doesn't have a leg to stand on but it just feels like a looming shadow. Honestly, thank you for your comments <3

KxMx

Even simple estates can take 6-12 months to finalise.

I sympathise having lost my Mum in February after a difficult 3 years & nightmare 12 months, even without an external complication which will delay winding up the estate, I'm still waiting for a rent statement + bill & the less said about the efficiency of private pension providers the better 🤣

Just try & settle your mind that it will take as long as it takes 🙂

I have a similarly unhelpful absent sibling, it galls me that I'm doing all this work for 50% of their benefit but Mum never wrote a Will so I'm following my legal obligations.

I had to tell them to back off asking questions & let me focus my very limited energy on administration of the estate, they'll get a copy of the accounts at the end alongside their share of the money.

Briansteen50

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82028598#Comment_82028598

I am sorry for your loss too. It's hard watching them before more and more ill isn't it? Really takes it's toll. I wouldn't change looking after her but I wish it hadn't been so traumatising for both of us (Me and her). My partner did most of her caring near the end as I couldn't face it.

thank you! Lol i'd seen there stories of probate being ranted in days and hoped i'd have that luck :)

Cubicsrube

To add another reason to take heart, OP: Some years ago my parents were in your position after the death of my great aunt, with threats to challenge the will by her step-daughters. The threats came to absolutely nothing. In that case, my dad (her nephew) and mum had played the role of substitute children for decades - she had no biological children and had married late to a widower with older teen daughters, who died 5 years after their marriage, leaving her with the little 2-up 2-down terrace they'd bought. The stepdaughters were never close to my great aunt and had already left home and moved away when their dad died. They did keep in occasional touch and things were never acrimonious but there was no love or duty or care provided.

Over the decades, her house fell into disrepair and her mental health declined from loneliness. She spent all christmases and birthdays with us, Dad handled all her home maintenance, did a lot of DIY himself, mum decorated, cleaned and cooked. After an overdose we brought her home to recover and afterwards handled all her medical and financial stuff and drove her to any appointments. She was a second granny to us. One day she said she wanted to update her will, so Dad drove her to our local solicitor and she went in alone to do her documents. She later moved into a care home and had few visitors except us. When she eventually died, my dad was the executor. She left the house to dad and the leftover cash in her bank accounts (a few grand each) to the stepdaughters. They went off; evidently all those years of very little contact they had still thought of it as their dad's house. They kept sending threatening letters saying that they were contesting the will, suing dad for elder abuse, undue influence etc, that they'd taken legal advice, they had a good case, etc etc. Long story short, they did not have a shred of a case and no solicitor would touch it.

Even so, Mum & Dad were so upset because they really had done everything out of love and care and were just very scrupulous people in general - which is sounds like you are too. Their solicitor told them that the more scrupulous you are, the more upset and worry this type of accusation causes. So try to see your emotional state now as proof of just how wrong your brother is. And take heart. Nothing bad will happen. Let the process unfold in the time it takes, don't wait to start your grieving (spoken as someone nearing the end of the same process now, 11 months after our mother's death) You are doing everything right by your mum - this is the final act of care.

la531983

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82028462#Comment_82028462

Dunno about it being "not understandable", grief and deaths do different things to different people. It is certainly unreasonable and without merit, though.

gplion55

First of all, sorry to hear of all the stress around this situation.

Unless your brother is actually named in the will as an Executor, Trustee or Beneficiary, he has no rights to see the will. At first only the executors are allowed access and should hold a copy for reference when the original is sent off for the grant of probate.

If he feels hard done by then he must employ his own solicitor to deal with his grievances.

Threatening other people is certainly not the way to achieve anything and if the will was written in coordination with a solicitor you have no responsibility in the matter.

Go talk to a solicitor. The first session is normally free anyway, but if you have a low income they can also advise you of the best route to take.

Good luck.

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82028692#Comment_82028692

Yes, grief & deaths do different things to different people.

Especially when someone has been verbally abusive to the deceased the last time they saw them.

And has suddenly discovered they get nothing from the estate.

I understand the grief the OP is feeling.

But not the aggressive, abusive, threatening and grasping brother.