Platonic

Baldytyke88

We had a works outing tonight, one of the ladies that I work with has a non 'boyfriend' male that she goes on holiday with; what on earth does that mean?

I did walk her back to the bus station, we are both over 60 and I guess it's not so much about jumping into bed as you get older.

I quite like her, but being a fellow worker complicates things, but it's been a while since I liked someone.

I thought this might make an interesting discussion, we work closely together. So see what happens.

BridgetTheCat

So she goes on holiday with a friend, who happens to be a man. I’ve done the same in the past. Contrary to what Hollywood would have us believe, genuine (non-romantic, non-sexual) friendships between men and women are possible.

Or of course one or both of them could be gay, or ace.

Grumpy_chap

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6670395/platonic

Well, I suppose it might make the query easier to understand if you confirmed whether you are male (or female) and whether or not you might be hoping to develop "feelings" for the lady with the "non boyfriend".

"Non boyfriend" might be just a friend who happens to be male.

"Non boyfriend" might be a FwB.

"Non boyfriend" might be a would-be "boyfriend" that has not returned her advances.

twopenny

I've known a lot of people who are opposite sex but go on holiday together. Especially when they are older.

The companionship is sometimes easier than with a friend of your own sex or being in a relationship. Much more relaxed.

I've never known any of them to be looking for a partner. In fact quite the opposite. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. If rejected don't take it personally. She's got it made by my reckoning 😉

Emmia

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6670395/platonic

Why is her relationship with this person any of your business? Plus, in general, seeking to date your co-worker is a terrible idea.

Jemma01

Some ppl don't like traveling solo, they don't feel safe or comfortable, or maybe aren't planners and prefer someone else who likes to look and explore. Many ppl still find it odd sitting alone at restaurants even without traveling.

If you are looking to date the lady, it's a conversation about how you two will move forward, and whether these travels will be cut back to none or every once in a while (assuming pure friendship and not fwb).

Grumpy_chap

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82017266#Comment_82017266

Maybe the OP is aware of the "non boyfriend" relationship and trying to understand whether that is code for something more.

As an example, my FiL has a "lady friend who lives down the street" but they don't take the nomenclature of boyfriend and girlfriend because they see their association as for now and not something that will develop into shared houses, marriage or such like ever. They happily stay over and holiday and spend leisure time together. They are a couple for all intents and purposes, but that association can take second seat at times to other priorities, whether work or family.

A "non boyfriend" might well match that type of association and means that the lady is not available for other relationships, but also the "non boyfriend" association is never envisaged to become her first priority or grow into a living together scenario.

I kind of suppose, once a couple refer to each other as "boyfriend - girlfriend" then there is a certain notion that the relationship has a longevity.

bouicca21

I regularly go on holiday with a non boyfriend. We’re friends, we like similar things. Nothing more to it than that. I also holiday with a female friend. We’re friends, we like similar things. It’s cheaper than a holiday with the non boyfriend because we can share a room and avoid the dreaded single supplement. Doesn’t make us lesbians.

badger09

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82017237#Comment_82017237

Husband & I, mid - late 70s cruise regularly with a specific company. We’ve met lots of people who we’ve assumed are ‘couples’ but turn out to be just friends who enjoy each other's company on cruises. Some share a cabin, much cheaper than paying solo prices, some don’t. Some spend most of the day together, some don’t. Some meet up between cruises, some don’t.
I think it’s great 😊

Baldytyke88

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82017266#Comment_82017266

We were on a works drinking session, I hadn't thought about things going further whilst we were working together, but who knows. I am retiring at the end of this year.

I am male and I was probably a little drunk when I first posted.

Baldytyke88

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82017237#Comment_82017237

I have friends who have given up on a relationship in their 50s, which I found strange. I haven't given up, but I have given up on dating groups. It could happen at any time, but it's a long shot.