Confusion over debt solution deepens

bdl23xx

Hello all

When I last wrote (a month ago?), I had been advised to wait a further 3 months before applying for a DRO as I had only taken out 2 of my 6 credit cards in February this year. However the mental strain is too much for me, yesterday I called Money Wellness, who I was planning to use after recommendations on here. I had a couple of DRO questions on my mind and also wondered if there was anything I could prepare in advance before the planned application in August. The call didn't go well at all. The guy talked at 100mph and I felt very interrogated and judged, my ADHD brain became more and more overwhelmed… He asked about the credit taken out in February and what it was for, I mentioned some of it was a money transfer to pay my sister for my share of the accommodation for my neice's hen weekend. Talking about my debt getting out of control last year, I mentioned I had sent all available funds to my Vanquis as they had increased the rate to 45.9% and my other 5 credit cards were on 0%. This is advice from MSE debt pages, but he said both of these meant I had prioritised one debt over the others. I should have been paying them all an equal % if I intended to get a DRO, but that was never a plan, I intended to clear my debts and the advice said that was the best way to reduce debt. And the money to my sister was not repaying a debt, it was simply that she had to book the accommodation in one payment so we all had to give her the money. Mr 100mph wouldn't listen, got more shouty, I felt like a child being scolded. He said they would not apply for a DRO for me, I had blown my chances of getting one with my actions. I asked to talk to someone else and was put on hold, I hung up when I was still holding an hour later. I called Stepchange and asked their advice if I couldn't get a DRO… they said bankrupty would have the same issues with recent debt and prioritising so it only left a token payment plan. They worked out I had only £6.52 per month for my debts. They said after 2 years of a token/£1pm payment plan I could try to get a DRO but also said you can only do a token payment plan for 1 year.

My head has been frazzled the last 24 hours over this information, I really can't cope with it all. It just feels like my world is collapsing and I'm very alone in dealing with this. I'm sorry to come on here again with more questions and in need of more advice. I feel I'm getting closer to a breakdown the last few weeks (been there before 3 times). I know this is all my fault, I know I spent the money, it's my mess… It has taken everything I have to face the debt and try and sort it but I feel like I can't sort it as I'm going round in circles with no solution. I long for the days when my Mum was here and she would just tell me what to do and I would do it. But I don't have a best friend/close family member I can share this with so I'm spiralling.

I don't even know what I am asking anymore. What to do? I need a plan. Shall I just do the token payment with Stepchange for 2 years? Is that really my only option now? I appreciate any pearls of wisdom from the kind and supportive members on here, you always make it sound much easier than my brain is computing it to be. Thank you in advance.

RAS

Stop. Breathe deep and slow. Then exhale, breathe deep and slow.

Just look at your post above. Don't read it. Just look at the overwhelm.

It may be that phone based debt advice isn't best for you.

It may also be that Stepchange lost the DRO contract to MoneyWellness fairly recently and Moneywellness had to hire and train a lot of new people in a short time. So each have people who aren't fully versed in handling DRO queries that aren't standard.

And that your ADHD brain lead them to querying lots of things that weren't even on their radar or in their training as a result of your disclosure and queries.

Do either CAP or CAB or any other local debt advice service offer face to face support?

Brie

Oh my! That was a hard read! As RAS says "look at the overwhelm"!

And as mentioned maybe a face to face service would be a better match. For that you're likely going to need Citizen's Advice, Christians Against Poverty (CAP) or Community Money Advice (CMA). You can google these and see if they operate somewhere/time convenient for you. You might also find a debt advice team at a local food bank or community centre.

Now about some of the other comments…..

• Vanquis and prioritising debt - yes it's true that for a DRO this is a problem. But time will help as the further in the past you paying the a chunk is the better position you are in - assuming you want a DRO. If you don't want a DRO then it doesn't matter.
• Money to your sister - technically it's a debt because you owed her money. Just because it's family and not a bank it is still a debt.
• Token payments for only 1 year. No. Not true. I've seen some running for years, some more than a decade. I don't think it's always a good thing to have a token plan for that long because I believe, for some, it's a mental drain, something that chains them down, but for some people it means they are regaining control over part of their lives that was chaos previously.
• Stepchange - well they are a good recognised organisation that will not rip you off and will help deal with the creditors. But as above - other organisations exist so you need to decide for yourself which to use. We can help guide a bit but in the end the choice has to be yours and one with which you are comfortable.

Meanwhile if you are being overwhelmed so much please talk to someone about your mental health overall. Whether it's your doctor or other medical professional or an anonymous group like Samaritans - anyone that can be a sympathetic ear when you need it.

And come back to us any time too as we've been there, done that, and are wearing the tshirt!!

RAS

Agree, token payments may not be a good long term strategy but a year or 18 months whilst you stabilise your budget and get advice isn't a problem.

In practice a lot of creditors will respond to complete non-payment with loads of pre-programmed texts, emails and robo-calls but if you ignore them all, most will take 6-18 months to start any formal action. You can forestall a lot by removing your phone number from their records and insisting on written communications.

bdl23xx

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82014689#Comment_82014689

Thanks for that, I actually go dizzy sometimes because I panic so much I forget to breathe. I know my local CAB closed down and it's now telephone only, I haven't heard of CAP, I'll see what I can find out, that's a good idea to go face to face, thank you

fatbelly

Yes I agree with the above. If you have the energy, you should complain about MW. Unless people do that, nothing will change. You never know, the government might even remove that contract and give it to Stepchange where it should have gone at the start.

II always say that the best thing to do in the run up to a DRO is to pay everyone nothing. That way you cannot be accused of preferring creditors. Ok, you didn't know that you were heading for a DRO but you do now.

See what is available locally. There is no need to rush.

bdl23xx

I'm so sorry that was a hard read Brie, not my intention to upset anyone. Yes, I am in overwhelm, lacking sleep but am looking for some new help with my mental health.

I will see if I can find any local offices that have debt advice face to face, it's a good place to start. I just felt like I had no options left as I used an online debt calculator tool and it said a token payment plan would take 281 years and it tipped me into panic mode. I fear doing the £1 a month will mean I get phone calls and hassle which I can't cope with. I have been unsuccessful in removing my phone number from card accounts as they won't save if blank.

I understand your other points (Vanquis, family debt etc) I just hadn't realised about them before in terms of a DRO. Most websites have very basic eligibility details.

I know you have all been through this and that is why you are the best people to talk to, you understand without judgement and it feels like a safety blanket, so thank you for being there.

bdl23xx

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82014859#Comment_82014859

OK… so if I pay nothing from now to Feb 2028, what is likely to happen in terms of being hassled by the creditors? I read before everything will eventually default, but what could/would they do to me? Worst case scenario? I just need some sleep to be honest and not feel on edge like this all the time.

RAS

I don't think Brie was upset, but am sure they'll clarify. For me is was just impossible to follow with no paragraph breaks.

Regarding the difficulty removing telephone numbers, nothing to stop you making one up, or if you are feeling creative, identify one associated with another debt collector and use that?

With respect to mental health, you've the lived experience but my observation is that ADHD isn't a mental health issue, it's a processing difference.

That becomes an issue when you start dealing with standard people who can't adjust their expectations or with non-human systems solely designed for standard people. Which becomes increasingly demoralising and confidence busting.

Whatever their name, many of those answering phone lines aren't paid to be real people. They are trained to follow specific scripts and decision trees and can be penalised for taking any initiative.

If you ask a non-standard question, they'll just try and shoe-horn it into the box that they think is closest to what they think you want, or even what will allow them to close the call within their allotted time.

With respect to panic, read up on the impact of oxygen levels on panic and learn strategies to manage it. You could even have a paper bag by your computer?

bdl23xx

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82014896#Comment_82014896

Yes I understand, I have severe depression, anxiety, panic, OCD and the ADHD, I have long since given up differentiating between what causes what. Thank you for the good advice.

fatbelly

I wasn't necessarily suggesting that you ignore everyone for 18 months but what will happen? Creditors will put a default on your record, they will write a lot of letters and email/phone /text/threaten as much as they can. Then they will sell the debt to someone else, at a discount.

Eventually some will start a court claim to stop it going statute barred at the 6-year point.