Divorce without lawyers

happily_married

In Scotland.

Sister has split with husband they were together nearly 20 years

no children.

There Is a house/pensions and money in banks

He is being an !!!!!! now that she is now wanting the financial to get sorted rather than let it go on

He has decided not to play ball and now says everything through a lawyer.

All she wants is the house.

Pensions and banks are way above the value of the house.

Im trying to find out if she can petition a judge(as like in England) where they decide how it gets shared.…

Only interested in financial aspect atm as weknow how to do the actual divorce when no children or money involved.

Just trying to keep costs down as shes not wanting to pay silly amounts to lawyers for him to keep the costs mounting up

TThanks

darrensurrey

I am not a lawyer.

We did this without lawyers; we also did not have children. It was easy and cheap. The only cost was emotional.

I just agreed with everything as it all felt fair. You might need to remind him that his obstinance is going to cost him thousands, possibly tens of thousands. Some people are like that, though. Therapy would be cheaper but heyho.

twopenny

Imo pensions and money are important. She may not think so now because she wants it over but she may regret that later.

Sounds like she should sit down and write out a reasonable split for such a long union, to submit to him, his solicitor. Once done shouldn't be a bother.

Then take the good advice on here and see how it can be followed up.

Albermarle

All she wants is the house.

Pensions and banks are way above the value of the house.

The norm is to list all assets, and then work out the most practical way of splitting the total amount 50:50. So in this case she could get his half of the house plus some of his cash/pensions.

Then as part of the divorce you need a financial settlement order, that sets out the split and is approved by the court. This is binding and can not be revisited at a later date. If they do not get this, then the issue could rear its head again at a later date. Have a read of this.

Money and property when you divorce or separate: Get the court to decide - GOV.UK

One thing does not quite add up. If she only wants the house and he has a lot of other assets, why is he causing a fuss, as it sounds like a 50:50 split would not be in his interest.

Maybe she is overestimating ( guessing) how much he really has ?

MEM62

Divorce without a lawyer when the ex is being confrontational? You would be stupid to take the risk.

Silvertabby

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81989999#Comment_81989999

Or he is underestimating the value of a DB pension.

Once spoke to a LGPS member who had been instructed by his solicitor to obtain a Divorce CETV. He couldn't understand why, as his pension was only £20K and so not worth bothering about in the overall scheme of things.

£20K per year......

Albermarle

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81991370#Comment_81991370

Yes could be. I know a separated couple and although they are not yet splitting assets, they have talked around the subject. The man has a reasonably large, but not massive DC pot, and his wife is roughly aware of its value, and is convinced it is worth a lot more than hers.

She has been a Teacher for the last 30+ years, and a Headteacher for the last 15…..

Sandhy84

Not sure if this helps your specific issue but i found this really useful in representing myself after spending thousands of ponds on solicitors beforehand before i couldn't afford to pay them anymore - worth giving it a go:

familycourguideuk.co,uk

Cressida100

When I was in the middle of a divorce with an awkward partner I didn't really understand much about pensions. I was more concerned about being able to buy my ex's share of the house. 25 years later and near retirement I realise that I should have thought a bit more about the value of his gold plated LGPS pensions to come. You live and learn. Don't make the same mistake.

Albermarle

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82004182#Comment_82004182

Even people who actually have LGPS, NHS pensions etc. do not often understand how valuable they are.

I am sure there are many divorce cases where both parties radically underestimate the value of these Defined Benefit pensions. Although active ones are mainly confined to the public sector, there many deferred private sector schemes still around as well.

People are often astonished to learn that if you had to buy a pension equivalent to the State pension, it would cost you over a quarter of a Million Pounds, which gives you an idea about how much a Defined benefit pension is worth, especially if there are many years of service involved/ a decent salaried job.

Albermarle

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82003173#Comment_82003173

The website in the post is spelt incorrectly. This is the actual link.

Clarity & Court - Navigate divorce and family court with confidence