Co-Op mismanaging estate?

Savvy_Sue

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81920755#Comment_81920755

Yes, but you haven't answered the second half of the question.

Do you want to have a friendly relationship going forward? Do you want ANY relationship going forward? It's an old saying, but true: you can choose your friends, but not your family. What you CAN choose is what sort of relationship you have.

I'd like to stay on good terms with my siblings. That affects what I'm prepared to put up with.

Woodstok2000

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81920945#Comment_81920945

This is definitely a really important consideration. You said you have lost out on £10k, is that £10k to you (I.e. there's £30k in disputed spending), or £10k in disputed spending (so potentially £3k to you)?

Some of it will probably be valid expenses, so what price do you put on the relationship with your sister(s).

otb666

Also worth thinking would your mother had paid these costs anyway. When FIL passed away the costs were covered for hotels meals and air travel for several family members as we knew thats what he would have done. The £250 per day is over the top though and £50 a day perhaps but did not think cash in hand jobs allowed nowadays and surely need to be declared to tax man. Could you ask to see an invoice for this from your sisters.

gplion55

If you don't agree with the accounts you can say so. If your sister was acting as the personal representative she has no more powers than you as you were all 3 assigned as executors. Ask for a full statement of accounts with receipts and justifications for the spending. If it doesn't add up or there was self-dealing then they have possibly broken the law. Most people are sensible about this and a tenner on petrol is nothing. There are others who claim for everything down to the last paperclip..which is a way of extracting more out of the estate than the one-third obviously intended by your mother. My sympathies..I had a similar situation which threw a whole new light on who my siblings really are.

Technosaurus

I mean I hate to say it quite so bluntly but it very much looks like your sisters have conspired to do you out of cash and they've found a 'useful idiot' in the form of the Coop Lay-Executor service to provide the cover and someone to refer you to if you query anything.

Each incident in isolation - spending Mum's cash on meals, transferring large sums, claiming expenses, claiming for business class flights - gives rise to a massive issue. Put them all together and then you add details that your older sisters have always been like this… I'm afraid it doesn't look good from the outsider's perspective.

As others have said, it depends on your relationship with them as to how far you push it. I'm in the death industry and pretty much all arguments have a root cause in money (and the overwhelming amount involve siblings falling out), so whatever you do next will determine if you ever speak to your sisters again. As others point out, the overall amount vs your desired relationship with them is the key.

Flugelhorn

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81922506#Comment_81922506

yes we had similar - interestingly large expenses - but in the end it was worth it just to finish the whole thing

Dewi99

It does look like my sisters were conspiring to do me out of some money. Coop have forwarded the emails where my sisters submitted their 'expenses' and they CC'd each other but excluded me, and Coop didn't let me know at the time either. I'm surprised that Coop didn't challenge any of this or let me know. I only found out after the estate had been distributed and I asked to see the accounts.

It means almost 10K for me, but I'll calculate the exact amount.

gplion55

Also, self dealing or using your parents' money prior to them passing away is also treated as 'elder abuse' and is an offence. Even more so if a limited power of attorney was in place. If in doubt go get some legal advice.

Grumpy_chap

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6659223/co-op-mismanaging-estate

Sorry for your loss.

If I understand correctly, there are 3 siblings all Executors and all Beneficiaries inheriting an equal share from your Mother's Estate. (No other beneficiaries.)

The Executors agreed to use the services of Co-Op to support the administration of the Estate.

The Executors also agreed to one of the Sisters being the sole contact for the Co-Op.

That Sister has now claimed expenses.

Why did the Executors agree to a Sister that was remote (distance-wise) from the property to be the point of contact and support the Co-Op? Were any of the siblings located in a more suitable location?

As for reasonableness, charging for time spent seems very unusual to me.

The costs of hotel and subsistence are necessary if the Sister needs to stay away from home while administering the Estate. Assuming it was not feasible for her to stay in the Mother's property.

The level and costs of the expenses - business class flights - might depend on what is the normal for the family / individuals involved. If it is common for the family members to travel business class, then it is reasonable to do so for this purpose.

You say the "excess expenses" have cost you £10k, so that would be £30k in total for the Estate. Is that correct?

How much is this in the grand scheme of things? What proportion of the total Estate value was it? If the Estate was £1m, then £10k (or £30k) is neither here nor there. If the Estate was £50k, then £10k (or £30k) is significant.

Finally, you say you only got some photos and nothing else. I assume you had the opportunity to visit the house prior to the clearance company doing their thing…