Advice and help with £28k debts

DaedricPrince

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81908670#Comment_81908670

Hi @mumtoomany. Thank you for taking the time 😊

So, what I have is a general rotation of pretty much the same few meals I'll a) actually be motivated to make and b) satisfy the texture/flavour combo that I've learned is a big reason why I like or dislike things. So, not a meal plan as such (I can plan and then will want anything BUT what's on the plan when it comes to the day 🙄). With this I know I can buy in the right ingredients for the fortnight, so should hopefully still save some pennies over random items and last minute local buys.

I am getting the discount, yes, and paying over 12 months.

I did a quick check as soon as I read your reply and a meter would almost double the cost 😔 The sewerage standing charge plus usage alone would be more than my rates now, without actual water usage and charges.

Genuinely never thought about the "lesser" known/popular providers. Will have a look.

CSA I have done and it worked out a lot more. We sorted between ourselves for that amount and I pay half of things like school uniforms and trips etc. I don't mind the arrangement over the CSA amount because I know exactly what the money is going towards (the kids) and on months where there isn't much happening, I don't keep paying extra. It's been agreeable and almost harmonious on that front for over a year and I'm happy to keep it that way.

Ah the never ending lists that get lost or forgotten 😂 Great minds though! Today I acquired a cork notice board to hang over my computer monitor and pin important reminders to, so I literally can't miss it when I'm on the PC.

Thank you again. Definitely some things to look into there 😁

mumtoomany

Hi, wow at the cost for a water meter. Only other suggestion on that is move to south Wales. Seems like most of my other ideas you've already got covered too. Sounds like you are on top of this. If I think of any more, I'll let you know.

Good luck with it all, hugs, mumtoomany.xx

DaedricPrince

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81908935#Comment_81908935

This is the real thing I'm wondering. I can and will make savings where I can (I mean it this time 😶) but will the savings made be enough to have anything left after paying everything and would DMP be something to consider?

Will I be able to cover that shortfall or will it mean cutting back on things like trips with the kids? Looking at my SOA even if can cut groceries by £100 and maybe presents to an average of £50, that still doesn't quite cover the shortfall and then it's things like TV (only Netflix for all of us) or Entertainment and suddenly there's even less living and still only covering the debt payments. When you see your kids 50% of the time (granted it's more than some people) the last thing I want to do is have to say "sorry kids, but we can do even less now" because of debts. I already don't do holidays due to expense and with everything they've been through (there's more to it than just divorce) I really don't want to/can't cut back on the few days out and things we do and enjoy together when we can, which aren't exactly overboard or luxurious now. And this is still without the ability to gather an emergency fund.

Apologies for the million questions and doom in response to your positive comment! My overactive brain is thinking through a million scenarios and struggling to see the route through this without catastrophising.

Thank you so much for the message of support and a positive example of how things can be worked out 😊

DaedricPrince

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81908959#Comment_81908959

Thank you! A lot of the advice in general around this is good, but never seems to stick with this darn brain and the way it works. I'll search for her immediately 😁

DaedricPrince

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81909703#Comment_81909703

You'd think living in the lakes would mean cheaper water seeing as there's an abundance of the stuff wherever you turn 🤣

Thank you 😊

DaedricPrince

So, I've bit the bullet and contacted Payplan. They offered an option to do an assessment via WhatsApp, which is brilliant as I really don't like phonecalls. All the details and figures have been taken by the advisor and she'll be in touch tomorrow to continue and hopefully advise on options that are suitable (if any, other than cutbacks and continue paying). Weird mix of shame and relief doing this. Shame for having to admit to struggling with debt, but relief at taking positive action and asking for some help instead of pretending it'll just work itself out somehow.

SpireCaptain

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81911237#Comment_81911237

Well done, very positive step. WhatsApp sounds a good way to mitigate any stress and anxiety over the phone would cause.

I know what you mean about the mixed feelings. I've just thrown caution to the wind since realising my indebtedness is not sustainable any longer. After a November meeting with a CAB advisor, since then I've opened up to a handful of close confidantes and each time it's like a bit more shame and weight is knocked off your shoulders/the cloud above your head floats that bit higher.

Rob5342

I felt a bit like that when I started my DMP, but it all went very smoothly and 6 months later I was wondering why I hadn't started it earlier.

We normally suggest stopping paying and waiting for debts to default before starting a DMP. That's better for your credit report in the long term as defaults drop off 6 months after they are applied, but if you start the DMP straightaway you are likely to get arrangement to pay markers which stay on for 6 years afer the debt is paid off, potentially much longer. It also means the debts are more likely to be sold to debt collectors who will be open to settlement offers, so you could save a huge amount of money in the long run.

DaedricPrince

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81911315#Comment_81911315

Something about that really makes my brain hurt! It's ingrained in the brain to never miss a payment or face shame and guilt 😕 But then, I did an "aspirational" SOA saving £100 on groceries and shaving off amounts that are realistic on other things, and still only end up with £25 surplus a month after debt payments.

The credit report being trashed for 6 years is irrelevant, I suppose, because a) i need to be rid of credit and b) most deals are off the table now because of affordability and total debts. I couldn't up my overdraft if I wanted to.

On the subject of overdrafts, how do they work in terms of defaults? As far as I can see, it would just sit racking up obscene amounts of interest and fees, as there's no minimum payment to make

saajan_12

My read is you have some room to tighten up things without compromising much on the actual time and memories. Personally I'd just do that and as long as you have a little surplus to build an emergency fund, that's not acutally a problem.

Some suggestions below, intended to be constructive not criticise. By my calc I could find ~£250 savings overall, without touching your entertainment. That would cover your shortfall and actually build £100 a month towards an EF or clearing down the overdraft.

Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 979 -that's actually very good for your income
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 174
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 141
Electricity............................. 70
Gas..................................... 70
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 32
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 70 - that's high even for 3 phones. The sim only's should be £5-10 a month, and once your handset is out of contract, that one can be too. That's £30 saved now and £55 later
TV Licence.............................. 15
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 18
Internet Services....................... 45 - with the TV, that's quite high. Can you reduce the package eg in the internet speed or number of channels, to be £30-40 for TV and internet together?
Groceries etc. ......................... 380 - this is high for on average 2 people (you + 2 kids 50% of the time). Maybe order large grocery orders online and keep well stocked of staples so you don't have to do top up shops.
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 300
Road tax................................ 17
Car Insurance........................... 38
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 77
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 50 - what is this?
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 400
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 9.8
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 8.3
Buildings insurance..................... 46 - this seems high at £550 a year, usually closer to £3-400 for your house value.
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 51
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 75 -is this for more than the kids? That would be a £225 gift each for a birthday and a christmas each year. Could drop this to £20
Haircuts................................ 7.5
Entertainment........................... 108 - understand you want to preserve this.
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]
Total monthly expenses.................. 3231.6[/b]
[b]