Advice and help with £28k debts

DaedricPrince

Hello all. Long time lurker here. I've read and taken in a lot of advice from all you lovely people and have finally decided to admit to myself I need help and advice.

To cut a long story short; I've had some form of debt since the age of 18 when banks threw credit around for fun (40 now, time flies). 2009 moved in with ex wife (then gf) 2 kids, a better paying job, lifestyle inflation, an ADHD (undiagnosed until this year) brain and people pleasing traits saying yes to all purchases and demands from said ex and then in 2020 it all fell apart when I discovered she'd been "playing the field" for many years. I was able to keep the house and buy her out to the tune of £30k, but the debts were in my name and they stayed with me. I also have to pay child support despite them staying with me 50% of the time.

All in all, trying to keep up with everything, the increasing cost of everything and making repayments means I'm in my overdraft every month and sometimes family end up covering something that comes up (always pay back as soon as able). Sometimes the ADHD impulsivity will take over and think the new shiny thing is worth it (spoiler: it isn't) but hopefully starting medication next week will help with that, as well as some hard work in therapy for bipolar disorder too 😑

From my SOA (taken from 12 months bank statements and averaged for one offs or sporadic things) I can see a few cut backs, but have wondered if a DMP is appropriate. The loan is a consolidation of all our previous credit, which reduced the monthly slightly but increased the debt (I learned my lesson there).

Thankyou in advance for any and all comments and please feel free to ask any questions 😊

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]
Monthly income after tax................ 3650
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0[b]
Total monthly income.................... 3650[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 979
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 174
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 141
Electricity............................. 70
Gas..................................... 70
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 32
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 70
TV Licence.............................. 15
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 18
Internet Services....................... 45
Groceries etc. ......................... 380
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 300
Road tax................................ 17
Car Insurance........................... 38
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 77
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 50
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 400
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 9.8
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 8.3
Buildings insurance..................... 46
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 51
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 75
Haircuts................................ 7.5
Entertainment........................... 108
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]
Total monthly expenses.................. 3231.6[/b]
[b]

Assets[/b]
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 212000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 9000
Other assets............................ 0[b]
Total Assets............................ 221000[/b]
[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 152095...(979)......4.45
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 8661.....(174)......11.4[b]
Total secured & HP debts...... 160756....-.........- [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Tesco Loan.....................26489.....529.7.....9.6
Amazon Partner Credit..........475.45....47........0
monzo overdraft................1000......0.........39[b]
Total unsecured debts..........27964.45..576.7.....- [/b]

[b]
Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
Total monthly income.................... 3,650
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 3,231.6
Available for debt repayments........... 418.4
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 576.7[b]
Amount short for making debt repayments. -158.3[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
Total assets (things you own)........... 221,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -160,756
Total Unsecured debt.................... -27,964.45[b]
Net Assets.............................. 32,279.55[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

elsien

I’m just going make my usual comment and say you really need an emergency fund.

That also looks like a lot for groceries when your children are only with you for half of the time?

Brie

Well done for tackling this!

some thoughts…..

Tesco Loan.....................26489.....529.7.....9.6 - Dreadful consolidation loans. It seems like Tesco sold you on that one.

Amazon Partner Credit..........475.45....47........0 - Is this 0%? For how long?

monzo overdraft................1000......0.........39[b] - please don't use this!!!

Also this - Sometimes the ADHD impulsivity will take over and think the new shiny thing is worth it (spoiler: it isn't) but hopefully starting medication next week will help with that, as well as some hard work in therapy for bipolar disorder too

So putting these together I wonder if a Mental Health and Debt Evidence form should be submitted to Tesco. Your medical professional can complete this and you then submit it to Tesco and see what they say about the loan they gave you. Potentially they may decide it fair to freeze the interest, maybe write some off even. If you are in England you cannot be charged for them filling this out. (some surgery managers don't know this and will ask for payment)

More details here - Debt and mental health | National Debtline

Smudgeismydog

• Mobile phone at £70pm, how many phones does this cover? Are you in contract?
• Buildings insurance at £46pm, is that right? That looks very high
• Child related expenses at £400pm, I’m guessing is child maintenance.
• Entertainment at £108pm, what does this cover?
  

As @elsien noted, you really need to build an emergency fund

Well done for posting, you can turn this around

DaedricPrince

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81908132#Comment_81908132

I agree, and to be honest I hadn't really realised until now. The nearest supermarkets are 25 miles from me, and I've been guilty of using the local shop each night, which is 2 or 3 times more expensive than say, Aldi or even tesco! I've come up with a plan (famous last adhd words) to travel and do a fortnightly shop at Aldi, Farmfoods, Home Bargains etc. I'm actually pretty good at cooking at home and taking lunch to work, so hopefully this plan should knock that cost down a bit and also mean I have things in if the dreaded depressive spell hits, instead of ordering in or grabbing expensive rubbish from the local shop. The SOA has been an eye opener!

DaedricPrince

The partner finance is 0% for 9 months.

Unfortunately, the overdraft is used every month and is costing me around £20 pm in fees 🙃 (this isn't on the SOA either)

I had no idea such a form or process existed, but i'll certainly be looking into this! Thank you so much

DaedricPrince

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81908271#Comment_81908271

The £70 covers 3 phone plans (me and the kids). 2 sim only and 1 plan with handset. The sim only deals are 1 months notice of cancellation. Unfortunately the handset plan is in contract for another 12 months at £30 pm.

This is buildings and contents and, full honesty, I got my renewal letter and fully intended to use the comparison sites for the best deal (which I normally try to do) but as with many things, completely forgot about it and it auto renewed to their inflated renewal quote. Beleive me, this is annoying and happens with more things than I'd like with short term memory issues 😑

Yes, £400 is child maintenance

I haven't put anything in holidays as we usually just have days out during school holidays (can't afford long breaks away or foreign trips) so entertainment covers everything from that, the odd night out (very rare, maybe once every 3 months or so at best not really a drinker these days as it doesn't mix well with mental health and medication and I've had issues of using it to self medicate in the past), football with the boy (local team, lower league not premier league prices) the odd cinema trip (maybe once a month if that), xbox/windows gamepass (1 subscription £15 pm which me and my son can both benefit from, works out much much cheaper than buying games and can download anything on there rather than oaying upwards of £40 to find out its rubbish), sports match fees and membership for the year etc. Entertainment is mainly focused on the kids. I don't really do all that much that requires much outlay.

With the EF, it feels like every time I start to save a little and get somewhere, something comes along to wipe it out.

And finally, thank you! I certainly hope so

mumtoomany

Good morning, @DaedricPrince. I don't often post here but I've got 5 minutes to spare and your thread struck a chord, (we are a neurodivergent family).

Ways to cut costs.

You seem to have addressed the food and grocery costs. But make sure you do a fortnightly meal plan before you go shopping, include what you already have in. Make a list. Stick to it.

Council tax, are you getting the single occupant 25% discount? The children living with you won't affect this. Also paying over 12 months rather than 10. Still costs the same overall, but a smaller cost each month.

Water rates. Go over to a meter. Much cheaper cost. We pay around £250 per year, water only we have a septic tank. There are now 8 of us living here. Much cheaper.

Mobile phones. Look at all the options for the sim only ones. Lebara starts at £5 a month.

Check the CSA website. See how much you should be paying towards your children, as they live with you half the time.

Write down on a sheet of paper when all your insurances are due. Pin it to the wall. Next year you can look for deals one month before each are due to start.

OK, i need to go and get ready now. Huge hugs and good luck, you've got this, mumtoomany.

elsien

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81908443#Comment_81908443

Batch cooking and freezing, when you are having a good day. Lifesaver for me on the days when I’m too busy or just can’t be arsed.

Sunbakedscobble

Just a comment of support from me. I have 3 months left of my DMP that I have with payplan. I will have cleared about 34k of debt by the end of it in a few months. Contacting them was the best thong that ever happened to me, they turned my life around overnight. I could not have done this self managed in a million years. Well done on starting on the journey to sort it out.

MayDogsandCoffee

I am not sure if I will be breaking the rules but: Jen Moon (find her page on FB) has a page talking about ADHD and food - will give some ideas for meal planning and food budget on good and bad days.