Selling my house to move into my boyfriends??

goldengirl29

Hi

Im a 29F with a 28 year old boyfriend. We have been together just over 2 years. We are in a serious relationship and have both been very clear from the beginning that we both want the same things in life…marriage,kids etc and have been very happy together 

We both own our own houses…mine is a small 2 bed (i bought this house knowing it was for me and that eventually i would buy a bigger house in the future with a partner) but it is a lovely little house in a perfect location for my family, friends, work, shopping, general life and i have been very happy here

My boyfriend lives around 20/25 mins further away in a decent place in a bigger, cheaper house- but not location wise where i want to live. 

We agreed a while ago that the idea would be that it would make sense to live in his house as it is bigger and cheaper and then i would go on to sell my house and then we could save for a bigger house in the future together nearer to where i live

The issue is I’m bloody terrified. we’ve talked about it for over a year and one thing i want to make clear is my boyfriend has NEVER once pressured me or forced me into a decision…he has sat back and said i need to do things in my own time. so for the past year i have been mainly living at his house…and tbh about 99% of the time at his house the last 6 months since we got a puppy together and we have been so happy. He doesn’t expect me to contribute to mortgage or bills when i move in…purely save what ive got for our next house and he’s made me feel very welcome and comfortable in his house…changing what i want to etc. 

However, as much as i look forward to the next chapter together im so scared to let go of my safety net…my house

I know that it’s something i need to do to move onto the next chapter but i can’t help but feel scared. I’m terrified something goes wrong and then I’m left without my biggest asset. some may suggest renting but that comes with issues…emotionally i hate the thought of someone else living in my house that is mine and potentially trashing it or causing issues. i worry about all the usual issues that would arise from renting it out and the things i would have to sort (even with using an agency) and then i wouldnt want renting my house out affecting me getting a second mortgage on a new house or delaying that process and part of me thinks its easier to let go of it altogether….

i know if i sell it ill hopefully look back in a couple of years when im in my new house together and be glad i did it but i cant help of thinking of the worst outcomes and being left with nothing! but i need to make a decision soon as both of us paying for 2 mortgages and sets of bills is taking its toll…..

any advice welcome!!!!

brightfuture20

If you don't want to live where he lives why would you move in? Surely if you are both ready to commit househunt for a joint place then both sell up. I wouldn't be giving up my security say in a year or 2 things haven't worked out he has kept his asset increasing in value while you might be priced out of the property ladder depending on your current equity. Has he given any timeline for you to buy together?

MeteredOut

Definitely don't rent out your house because of circumstances - only do that if you want to become a landlord (and that is more difficult now than it has ever been).

Have you discussed both selling your houses and buying a new house together now, potentially renting while you find one? I wonder if that might help alleviate some of your concerns.

Side notes - not a dig, just some things to consider: is your insurance company aware that you're not living in your own house? And is your boyfriend still claiming any council tax relief for being a single person household even though you are now living there?

DiamondLil

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81900668#Comment_81900668

Absolutely this - I wouldn't be selling up either. I'd be taking my reluctance / fear of selling my "biggest asset" as a very loud alarm bell.

goldengirl29

Sorry if i wasn’t very clear….

The aim of me moving into his house would be to save up for a year or so then eventually move into a bigger house together nearer me. I wouldn’t be attached to his mortgage or bills i would be purely saving. I haven’t been “given a timeline” per say but i do feel a bit of internal pressure as well as family and friends commenting on the fact we don’t “officially” live together yet and i did say a year ago I’d hopefully feel 100% ready in a year…..i suppose I’ll never feel 100% when i love my little house!!

goldengirl29

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81900668#Comment_81900668

Sorry if i didn’t make it clear, i would be moving into his purely to live together and save together ready for a bigger house in the future to buy in the next 12-18months! Totally get you though, that’s why I’m scared to give up my asset before him but we probably both wouldn’t be able to match up selling both and buying together at the same time it would make sense to go from just one house to another.
no he hasn’t given me a timeline per say but i do feel some internal pressure to make a decision and family/friends/work colleagues do comment a lot on the fact we don’t “officially” live together so i feel like i do need to make a decision soon!

sammyjammy

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81900670#Comment_81900670

As long as she is paying her council tax on her own property CT isn't an issue, he can still claim his single person discount.

lincroft1710

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81900758#Comment_81900758

It is a moot point, but if she is a permanent resident in his house, which councils would claim she probably is as she spends 99% of her time there, he cannot claim SPD. She may also lose the SPD on her own house as she is no longer living there.

Tiglet2

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81900715#Comment_81900715

Sounds as though it is unlikely to happen but what if you do split before you "eventually" move into a bigger house?

If you both want to live together, get married, have kids etc, then surely the answer is to sell both properties and buy the bigger one together with both your names on the title (and mortgage).

goldengirl29

I do appreciate your comment so thank you but I’m not sure how that would work logistically….selling both properties and moving into one at the same time (that we haven’t found yet) probably wouldn’t work out time-wise and plus i thought it would maximise deposit money living in one house and saving up!

Skiddaw1

OP, I really do understand where you're coming from.

When Mr S and I got together we were both living in rented accommodation. He was in a large 2 bedroom flat and I was in a shared house in a housing cooperative. I was very, very happy there and I was a sitting tenant (this is going back to the mid-90s) so I had a lot of security. I really did have to make a leap of faith when I gave up my tenancy and moved in with him (we bought his flat from the landlord a few years later as it happens- our first step onto the housing ladder). I didn't finally make the decision to move in with him until he'd asked me to marry him (I thought that having gone that far he really must be committed!)

For what it is worth, we're still very happily married nearly 30 years later so it was the right decision but whatever you decide, don't do it until you feel good and ready. Sounds like you have a partner who understands that, which has to be a positive thing, but it's your decision and no-one else's. Good luck.