Need fresh eyes on my budget!

honeybee1234

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81878111#Comment_81878111

Oh please feel free to offer feedback such as this, it's what I'm here for!

I actually said to DP last week that I'm wondering if I'm actually doing more harm than good in helping my eldest, generally that is, rather than with taxis specifically. She's not weathered the transition well to being a fully fledged adult financially, and I think is trying to keep hold of some of the things she was used to paying for when she didn't have rent and bills as well. She has cut down massively but she's not as frugal as I feel the situation requires and I'm at the point where I'm thinking a bit of tough love might be what's required to get her to work this out.

I've tried with discussing UC, council tax benefit and the like but she didn't feel UC was worth it for what she'd get and she hasn't done the council tax forms. I can only do so much.

The real issue I struggle with is if she asks for money to get groceries. How do I say no because no matter what I've said here, she needs to eat if she's broke. I don't know.

honeybee1234

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81878199#Comment_81878199

Her dad has helped with rent, but has said he can't afford to do this regularly so has been pressing her to find a job. It's an awkward situation mainly because she in large part went to uni to get away from living at home. The difficulty is I don't have enough bedrooms for me, the kiddos when they're here, and DD as well. My house is very compact! She's said she'd happily live here and sleep on the sofa but it's not practical so I'm not sure how it'd work.

in_need_of_direction

if your eldest lives locally, you can always feed them rather than giving money. if they don't like that, the UC and council tax options still exist

elsien

I agree. It’s no use declining free money and then coming to you for food.

honeybee1234

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81878808#Comment_81878808

They're not local unfortunately or else I would absolutely be doing that.

I'm going to have a chat with them later in the week and explain I can no longer help out going forward. Hoping this will be the catalyst for them to sort out their budget. I've talked to them about budgeting a fair bit since they were a teenager and I'm more than happy to help in practical ways, but the best gift I can offer is that of doing nothing at this point. It's a really hard thought, logical as it is!

Spendless

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81878754#Comment_81878754

Thats a difficult one because shes getting less money due to the student loan being based on his household income but hes not topping up the way hes 'expected to' but is under no obligation to do so and shes very unlikely to find a part time job that will pay enough to meet her full rental.

I'm guessing she doesnt live a commutable distance from Uni so moving back to her Dad's and travelling isnt an option even if she'd wish to and even then is probably tied into a tenancy agreement.

Is she in halls so tenancy only part of the year or in private accommodation that's 50/52 weeks of the year?

If shes in all year round accommodation, then my suggestion is she finds a local job that she can work more hours in Uni hols and limits the time she has to come home at the same time making it that she lives at your house rather than her Dads when she is back. Take advice but my guess is you'd need evidence she does and even if dividing her time would need more time spent at yours. Theres a student board on here you could ask on or theres more student forums out there.

If shes in halls, same idea but might need to start the tenancy when halls finishes rather than waiting for start of new academic year. In the meantime whilst she job hunts, she could approach her bank about increasing her overdraft.

Spendless

Also just looked at your SOA. Why are you paying child maintainance when your income is lower than their Dads (based on what youve said about Uni student loan if it was based on your own income).

honeybee1234

Firstly, some good news - DD got the job she interviewed for, good for her! She's so happy, I'm really pleased for her.

As far as I can remember, her tenancy is term time - I think - I'll double check this.

I'm going to think about the situation with where she lives and find out more about it. There's a lot of family dynamics at play so it's a delicate situation and don't want to stir up a hornet's nest so going to tread carefully here.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81879130#Comment_81879130

The child maintenance is for the kiddos who are from a different relationship, to clarify.

MayDogsandCoffee

Might be worth checking but it used to be that the employer had a legal obligation to ensure staff got home safely if they finished work at 12 midnight - employer should provide transport.

elsien

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81880138#Comment_81880138

That certainly wasn’t the case when I was working unsociable hours. I was getting two buses home roundabout midnight.

What legislation are you referring to?

ETA - my guess would be that you are referring to the employers duty of care under the health and safety act. That does not oblige employers to pay for transport home.