Financial help caring for elderly parent

Swallowtail9 · 3 February at 2:39PM

Hi. I'm not sure if this is the correct thread, but there's isn't anything that directly works for me. I'm a UK citizen and a PT resident, having lived in Portugal for 5 years. I have a UK Limited Company and pay corporation tax in the UK. I had a bad end to 2025 financially with my business and was ready to rebuild in January. Unfortunately my Dad was taken into hospital on Boxing Day and has this week been diagnosed with lymphoma. I've been at the hospital every day supporting him and my Mum, along with my sister. And I've barely been able to work or work on finding new clients. I'm now in a situation where I am struggling to make rent, but because of my situation, I'm not entitled to help through any of the traditional channels in either country. I've discussed my situation with Macmillan, which were amazing, but they couldn't find anything because I don't live in the UK. I'm mainly curious if anybody knows of any charity or anything that might be able to help somebody in my situation? I want to focus on my Dad without the underlying anxiety of whether I will still have a business and home within a few months. Any advice warmly welcomed.

HillStreetBlues · 3 February at 9:00PM

I think Macmillan would be the best placed to know of any help.

I think a big issue of getting any help for yourself is your dad is in hospital, which will be classed as a place of care (doesn't mean he's getting good care) so with limited money charities have, I would be surprised it they will financially support you, but good luck with trying.

huckster · 4 February at 12:13AM

Sorry to say this, but however bad the situation is for your family, if they knew the financial position you were faced with, they would tell you, that you must put yourself first. If you got yourself into a really bad situation financially later and your family found out that you had placed your life on hold, they would be very annoyed you had not said anything to them.

I think you should be honest with your family and talk it through with them. See if you can come up with a plan together that enables you to support your family without you making your situation worse than it needs to be.

Could you get a temporary job in the UK, say in a warehouse doing some evening work, that would provide enough money to cover essentials? Warehouses have different shifts, which is why I mention this, so you could still be around during the day to visit your Dad.

peteuk · 4 February at 9:31AM

Sorry to hear about your father. Can I break down your post.

You have dual citizenship (British and Portuguese) where are you currently living.

You have a UK limited company which pays UK tax ( not sure this adds anything)

You dont live in the UK - you can claim UK benefits whilst living in the EU, however it depends on if you qualify for the benefit. For some you would need to prove Habitual Residence or lived in the UK for a period of time (my memory wants to say this to be three months) if Macmillian haven’t suggested any then I believe they may well be right. Citizen advice may be able to give you a second opinion but I’d suspect the answer would be the same.

This may sound callous (and I know this first hand through my own experience) your father may well be ill for a long time, there is going to be difficult periods, potentially multiple, but you chose to live in Portigual. I know when we make these decisions we cover the what ifs, but often the what if someone gets ill, long term or who passes away isnt one we think of, human nature pushes it away.

As noted above you cannot put your life on hold indefinitely, you dont know how long your father is going to be unwell or the outcome of the situation. Its natural to do so, but unless you can support yourself during this period, then I’m sorry to say you need to go back to work and take care of yourself (I would say this even if you lived in the UK)