Lost Account

ResearchWizard

Hi. Please can I ask for help with the following:
I am in my early forties. I lost my mother about thirty years ago*.  At that time there was a conversation wherein my mother mentioned a bank account where she had set aside some money as an escape plan to leave my father. It wasn't much money, that isn't the point here. I am starting to unpack events of thirty years ago and I have some self doubt around this conversation. t was very out of character for my mother and it was never repeated or alluded to again before her untimely death. Finding the account would give me closure and prove my memory is correct. I have tried a brief search (MyLostAccount, Gretel), which has yielded nothing. I remain firm in my conviction that this conversation happened and that this account exists.The difficulties as I see them are based around the fact that this account was intended to be secret from my father. Therefore:
- The account may be in my mother's maiden name (although I don't know if that is possible).
- The account may not be registered at the family home address (again, was it possible to set up an account in this way in the early nineties?)
- Do I have any right to this information as one of two children or do I need consent from my sister? I'm not interested in the money. I just want to know the account exists. 
I know my mother's DOB, their maiden name and the address we lived at at the time. This is pretty much all the information I have. 
Posting in the hope that someone could walk me through this difficult situation for the good of my mental health. Thanks in advance. 
*Of course I have exact dates but I want to anonymise this conversation as much as possible.
 

marcia_

 When my mum died I used this to trace accounts https://www.mylostaccount.org.uk/
 They found 2 and I had to go into the bank with my mother death certificate and my birth certificate and they paid me the money. 

otb666

My MIL always said she kept money aside "just in case" and showed me where she kept it when I was in my twenties but in my fifties when the time came to check hiding spot it was bare. Figured she just spent it as no longer required after all she also sold all her gold before passing away to get a new sofa. I think it was quite common for woman to have a secret stash back then when woman had less independence from their husbands.  I think she may have had a clear out when she knew her time was near and tidy up loose ends that were no longer required.  Just my experience thats all no offence and please ignore if not what you want to hear.

Marcon

ResearchWizard said:

Hi. Please can I ask for help with the following:
I am in my early forties. I lost my mother about thirty years ago*.  At that time there was a conversation wherein my mother mentioned a bank account where she had set aside some money as an escape plan to leave my father. It wasn't much money, that isn't the point here. I am starting to unpack events of thirty years ago and I have some self doubt around this conversation. t was very out of character for my mother and it was never repeated or alluded to again before her untimely death. Finding the account would give me closure and prove my memory is correct. I have tried a brief search (MyLostAccount, Gretel), which has yielded nothing. I remain firm in my conviction that this conversation happened and that this account exists.The difficulties as I see them are based around the fact that this account was intended to be secret from my father. Therefore:
- The account may be in my mother's maiden name (although I don't know if that is possible).
- The account may not be registered at the family home address (again, was it possible to set up an account in this way in the early nineties?)
- Do I have any right to this information as one of two children or do I need consent from my sister? I'm not interested in the money. I just want to know the account exists. 
I know my mother's DOB, their maiden name and the address we lived at at the time. This is pretty much all the information I have. 
Posting in the hope that someone could walk me through this difficult situation for the good of my mental health. Thanks in advance. 
*Of course I have exact dates but I want to anonymise this conversation as much as possible.
 

If your mother died 30 years ago, any account which may have existed will almost certainly have been closed and any records destroyed. The fact that nothing is showing up on your searches lends credence to that probability. 

If your mother remained with your father, then surely the most likely possibility is that she spent the money if indeed such an account existed (rather than being wishful thinking of her part - although that is of course a wholly speculative comment, it still needs to be considered)?

Thirty years ago you would have been far too young to be an executor/administrator of her estate, but whoever wound up her affairs is likely to have become aware of the account - back in the 1990s there would have been a paper trail because online banking was yet to arrive.

I realise that this is important to you, but maybe you need to consider that you aren't going to find anything and could put yourself through a lot of torment which will never be 'resolved' as you hope? Sometimes the past has to be left in the past, difficult as that is.