Mum's care team asking me to give up power of attorney so that local authority oversees finances

ChrisM78

My 85 year old mother is bipolar and has had dementia for a few years now, though it is advancing slowly and she still is able to take care of herself. She lives in her home on her own since my dad died 12 years ago - she was mentally and physically abusive to him for many years, and unfortunately transferred the mental abuse onto me once he passed. This got so extreme 3 years ago with me often waking up to 15 voicemails of hatred and vitriol directed at me daily that I cut contact, feeling suicidal. 

Seven years ago, my mum asked if I would act as power of attorney for her - I agreed and hold both financial and health LPAs. She's been in the care of a council mental health team for about 6 years who deemed a year ago that she needs a carer to come in for an hour twice a day to oversee medication. My mum cut up her bank cards a year ago, asking for me via the mental health team to drop down cash when she needs it. I genuinely don't want to ever see her again as I don't think I am mentally strong enough to deal with it (I have severe generalised anxiety which began pretty soon after I stayed with my mum after my dad died for a few weeks and faced a torrent of abuse), so I've been dropping the cash down to the mental health team who drop the money in to her on visits. 

The person who I deal with on the team is moving on to a new job, and has just informed me that they will be transferring her to the memory service - they have told me that the memory service won't drop down money to her, and have asked if I would consider giving up the LPA (financial only, I presume), then my mum can be under an appointeeship and her finances can be handled by the local authority.

The team have asked before about the local authority handling her finances before. As bad as things are between my mum and I and knowing how protective she is of her money, I have told them that my mum should always be asked about matters like this and that I will go along with whatever she says. I will refer them to her again on this matter but this feels a bit more strong handed. What are other people's take on this?

Vitor

You are not obliged to give up an LPA because it suits the care team. An attorney can step back from day to day contact while retaining oversight, and no one can force resignation. If your mother still has capacity, she must be consulted. If she lacks capacity, decisions must be in her best interests, not administrative convenience. Local authority appointeeship is limited and hard to reverse. Get any request in writing and take legal advice before resigning.

sammyjammy

You are required to act in your mums interest, does she lack capacity at all?  How would you feel about having to take the cash to her?  Think of yourself in this as well, sounds like you've really been through it.

Take care x

marlot

If it's cash, could you just post her a weekly allowance?

ChrisM78

I considered it to be too risky but I guess if it's sent packed well enough via Special Delivery, it should be fine, plus she only asks for money monthly. 

The mental health team did ask my mum last year about the council handling her money and she told them in no uncertain terms where to go. 

Markdavid1962

Feel for you, my parents both were in a care home, Dad also with dementia and its unlikely the POA can be changed due to the Dementia. Does your mum have a Care plan in place, for a carer to be allocated even for doing medication they must have done an assessment. It may be worth you checking the care plan. All medication should be kept in a locked cabinet and signed daily by the carer. Mum also had dementia but she knew how much money she had left
When my parents where in the Care home we had an account that was setup and any expenditure was tracked and recorded, before they went in to the care home, still living at home they also had a carer coming in twice per day and I had online shopping delivered.

Good luck

Keep_pedalling

In your shoes I would grab the offer with both hands, you say she was abusive to both your father and yourself and you don’t want to see her again, so this is a chance to cut the remaining tie between you. 

elsien

The appointee only manages benefits. they cannot access bank accounts or private pension etc. so if your mother lost capacity, someone would have to apply for a deputyship which is an additional complication they may not be thinking through. There are cost implications and it takes a long time. 

In my area, the local authority does not run their own appointee service, they contract out to Age uk, and age UK would not drop cash down to people - they don’t work like that any more, although they used to. 

Not sure what the answer is here, but make sure you think through all the implications before you decide. 

bouicca21

Why is cash needed? When my mum had dementia we took control of the bank account and paid everything and everyone from the account by direct debit or bank transfer.

elsien

People like to have cash. My mum has cash in to pay her gardener and her cleaner and probably a couple of other things as well. It could be paid online but doing that for her and removing her choice would make her very unhappy. 

Some people also like to know there’s that emergency stash of money “just in case.”