Don't understand why charity shop treated me horribly

Robertson74

Thanks to everyone.

I keep thinking about this. I think supermarkets are out for me- I haven't had a job my whole life, other than helping and caring for my parents. I don't have any qualifications and that wouldn't look at all good, so I don't have anything to show that I can do maths or English. I chose a charity shop because I wanted to meet people, somewhere to go and help with a cause, but things weren't good for me.

I don't know why they did this to me, but I sometimes wonder if it was discrimination or something, but it was such a horrible experience at times. I was really happy when they accepted me, but then the excluding from meals changed things for me and then I had the thing of being shown up in front of a person from head office, when I tried to do the right thing. Also there wasn't one week that I didn't think that they would tell that my services were were no longer required.  Then I had the whole experience of losing my mother and NO ONE contacting me to ask if I was alright- a neighbour called in to the shop and told them, but I wasn't contacted. I eventually phoned them and said I was taking a long time out, to deal with it and I honestly thought that if I had never contacted them, I would never have heard from them again. 

One of the other problems is references from the shop. The organization still exists, but it closed all its shops. I don't know if they would still give me a reference. I just sort of feel five years of my life has gone and I have nothing to show for it. Also I don't know anyone to give me references any more- both of these were close family friends who have gone now, so that will be a problem as well.

I have read through your posts and will give it some thought. I am also worried about doing something else with what my life is like compared to other people and I don't know what to look out for when dealing with new people.

lincroft1710

After 5 years, it is doubtful if the charity would do anymore than (at best) just confirm the dates you worked there.


Have a read of this

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/universal-credit-and-jobseekers-allowance-jsa-back-to-work-schemes#work-experience


and finally stop rehashing/reliving your charity shop experience!

sheramber

Stop dwelling on the past. You cannot change it. 

You are not likely ever to understand it. It is too late now to do anything about it.

Concentrate on the future.

What would you like to do?

What can you do to achieve that?

Look  into the possibilities in the lonk quoted above.. 

Constantly  saying you don’t think you can do things will not get you anywhere. 

General_Grant

Robertson74 said:

Thanks to everyone.

. . .. I don't have any qualifications and that wouldn't look at all good, so I don't have anything to show that I can do maths or English. . . .

Explore the adult education section of your local authority's website which is very likely to include information about English and functional maths courses.  On completion I would expect them to result in a paper certificate.  My local council's site includes the statement that, 

1. English, maths (for learners who do not hold a GCSE Grade 4 or above) and Essential Digital Skills qualification courses are fully funded.

saajan_12

References aren't really a 'thing' anymore, most companies don't go into any detail about the person for fear of being liable if the person turns out to be worse at the new company. So I wouldn't worry about that, wherever you go next won't be expecting much of a reference. 

A charity shop may not be the most suitable environment if its mostly staffed by people of a very different demographic. If money isn't a concern, you might consider 
* shop floor assistant - mostly work solo but with small interactions to ease into it
* casual lunch / fast food cafe
* class to learn more about your hobbies and people with simiilar interests (eg cooking? languages? arts & crafts? )
* adult college to improve your maths / english / IT skills

Marcon

saajan_12 said:

References aren't really a 'thing' anymore, most companies don't go into any detail about the person for fear of being liable if the person turns out to be worse at the new company. So I wouldn't worry about that, wherever you go next won't be expecting much of a reference. 

They most certainly are a 'thing' in that the majority of employers, and often organisations looking for volunteers, will want one. Look at the scandals which have arisen in recent years - so often they result from the failure to take up references and ensure those references are genuine.

Robertson74

 Thanks to everyone for your replies. Will give it some thought.

Robertson74

Marcon said:

saajan_12 said:

References aren't really a 'thing' anymore, most companies don't go into any detail about the person for fear of being liable if the person turns out to be worse at the new company. So I wouldn't worry about that, wherever you go next won't be expecting much of a reference. 

They most certainly are a 'thing' in that the majority of employers, and often organisations looking for volunteers, will want one. Look at the scandals which have arisen in recent years - so often they result from the failure to take up references and ensure those references are genuine.

Macron. Surely charities should provide certificates to everyone showing how reliable how someone was. If after 5 years how would I know they still had me on record.

The charity only had shops in Scotland and fed children in Africa and a few other places, you would think that they could show something.

I just sort of feel I have wasted my time there TBH- I did a lot of unpleasant tasks there and I feel I wasn't respected, but I try and put it behind me.

lincroft1710

Robertson74 said:

Marcon said:

saajan_12 said:

References aren't really a 'thing' anymore, most companies don't go into any detail about the person for fear of being liable if the person turns out to be worse at the new company. So I wouldn't worry about that, wherever you go next won't be expecting much of a reference. 

They most certainly are a 'thing' in that the majority of employers, and often organisations looking for volunteers, will want one. Look at the scandals which have arisen in recent years - so often they result from the failure to take up references and ensure those references are genuine.

Macron. Surely charities should provide certificates to everyone showing how reliable how someone was. If after 5 years how would I know they still had me on record.

The charity only had shops in Scotland and fed children in Africa and a few other places, you would think that they could show something.

I just sort of feel I have wasted my time there TBH- I did a lot of unpleasant tasks there and I feel I wasn't respected, but I try and put it behind me.

1. No employer provides "certificates", most will provide a reference of varying detail to another employer if required. 

2. Several of the tasks I did in the Civil Service, now seem to have been a waste of time as technology and revised methodology have consigned my efforts to the scrapheap. It is life, I worked, I got paid for working. You volunteered, you were given tasks, you performed them. It my not appear so but at the time, what you did helped the charity.

3. There are few of us in employment who have not had "unpleasant tasks" to deal with.

4. Many employees feel they are not respected by their employer.

5. Don't "try", just put it behind you. Persistent reference to and dwelling on it will get you nowhere