Need advice on possibly bullying / intimidation

holidaypain

Hello,

I could really do with some advice, I got a permanent role further to my last thread (albeit still subject to future redundancy) which I'm beginning to regret accepting, but I don't know if I am being over sensitive as I currently got a cold but there has been some instances which give cause for concern.

I'm not a moaning worker generally. I don't answer back to senior people but have got into situations where they have been tears privately and an effect on my personal life. 

As a result of my appointment change, I am being moved to a new line which I'm very rather apprehensive about (not expressed to the employer, trying to see the good side) and now being made to feel like a failure on the lines I had been manning and got confident on.

I'm a high number call taker.  I don't know if I am being silly or whether it is just more exacerbated by being in a work from home role. The people I work under seem charming in person but come across in a different way of tone online.

With the ever changing say in the era of gender non acknowledgement, there have been some situations leaving me not feeling easy, appreciate I'm subjected to making mistakes, immediately the day after a bad situation say on the phone, a head and a team leader will make repeated posts.

I'm quite old fashioned in using people's names to personalise calls, eg. Mr Surname (which I know is really old school) which isn't helping I desperately know. If I asked not to call someone sir for example I try my hardest to stop.  

The one time I was specifically identifiably singled out recently 5 mins after I even acknowledged a post meaning I'd read/viewed, I am then asked again if I have read the post which in 5 minutes I feel I had. (I don't suffer with declared learning/cognitive problems) I did not retaliate to this but I now wonder when you should say I can read. It is a public accessible to all interface being used.  This interaction greatly upset me for much of the rest of the day on this occasion. 

I don't know I just get the awful feeling the interview process was very political, the people who didn't get offered the job are coming on the same training course for the line I'm scared off and now it is like I'm being dragged down to the point I want to try and joke take me off the pedestal or something to this effect.

I'm sorry I just can't get away from how I feel and I'm utterly stuck and that I need foremost to try learn from this situation ideally. At what point do you start trying to defend yourself if I should have already been?

Thank you for any help. 

sheenas

I am sorry to hear that your work is effecting you in this way, well I can say that this is poor management. You say this as old school, but younger people feel this disrespectful to make gender assumptions. I have this consideration at home, an Individual that feel their gender values overrule the rights of biological woman. It seams important that you learn the skills to walk the walk on the sensitive subject of gender. Unfortunately I can't help with the poor management issue, seems a common issue.

Savvy_Sue

I can't really make sense of your post, but after giving my name, I have frequently been asked "Is it OK to call you FirstName?" At which point I could presumably request that they call me Mrs / Ms / Lady / Professor LastName if that is my preference. Might that help? 

I did once hear a friend responding to a call where she was misidentified by title, firmly telling the person on the other end that she was MISS LastName, not Mrs. I suspect there was already a flag on her name to prevent anyone addressing her as FirstName. 

holidaypain

Thank you, I just wish I'd called in sick today, I just think it is all parties doing wrong.  I will try harder on the awareness.

I thought we'd got past it as there was an issue last year when I found out the job market was tough so know I have to sit with it or pray for AI. 

This is why I loved the short term jobs you could just walk away if it didn't suit, although regrettable there are things as a result I've never had to confront as the downside. 

I just can't imagine anyone walking up to me in a live environment saying the say things you'd say online. 

Tabieth

holidaypain said:

Hello,

I could really do with some advice, I got a permanent role further to my last thread (albeit still subject to future redundancy) which I'm beginning to regret accepting, but I don't know if I am being over sensitive as I currently got a cold but there has been some instances which give cause for concern.

I'm not a moaning worker generally. I don't answer back to senior people but have got into situations where they have been tears privately and an effect on my personal life. 

As a result of my appointment change, I am being moved to a new line which I'm very rather apprehensive about (not expressed to the employer, trying to see the good side) and now being made to feel like a failure on the lines I had been manning and got confident on.

I'm a high number call taker.  I don't know if I am being silly or whether it is just more exacerbated by being in a work from home role. The people I work under seem charming in person but come across in a different way of tone online.

With the ever changing say in the era of gender non acknowledgement, there have been some situations leaving me not feeling easy, appreciate I'm subjected to making mistakes, immediately the day after a bad situation say on the phone, a head and a team leader will make repeated posts.

I'm quite old fashioned in using people's names to personalise calls, eg. Mr Surname (which I know is really old school) which isn't helping I desperately know. If I asked not to call someone sir for example I try my hardest to stop.  

The one time I was specifically identifiably singled out recently 5 mins after I even acknowledged a post meaning I'd read/viewed, I am then asked again if I have read the post which in 5 minutes I feel I had. (I don't suffer with declared learning/cognitive problems) I did not retaliate to this but I now wonder when you should say I can read. It is a public accessible to all interface being used.  This interaction greatly upset me for much of the rest of the day on this occasion. 

I don't know I just get the awful feeling the interview process was very political, the people who didn't get offered the job are coming on the same training course for the line I'm scared off and now it is like I'm being dragged down to the point I want to try and joke take me off the pedestal or something to this effect.

I'm sorry I just can't get away from how I feel and I'm utterly stuck and that I need foremost to try learn from this situation ideally. At what point do you start trying to defend yourself if I should have already been?

Thank you for any help. 

I’m sorry but I’m struggling to understand your post. Are you being criticised for misnaming people? Misgendering? What do you feel you need to defend yourself against? Maybe give a specific example and we could be more help. 

Hope you feel better soon. 

Grumpy_chap

holidaypain said:

I got a permanent role further to my last thread (albeit still subject to future redundancy) 

Is this issue occurring in the new role, or in the old role subject to future redundancy?
Is the new role with a new employer, or the old employer where you are subject to the future redundancy?
If you are subject to future redundancy at the old employer, how have you managed to start the new role at the new employer?
If this is all at the same company where you are subject to future redundancy, your priority might be to simply get to the redundancy as efficiently as possible and protect against performance dismissal in the meantime.

holidaypain

Tabieth said:

holidaypain said:

Hello,

I could really do with some advice, I got a permanent role further to my last thread (albeit still subject to future redundancy) which I'm beginning to regret accepting, but I don't know if I am being over sensitive as I currently got a cold but there has been some instances which give cause for concern.

I'm not a moaning worker generally. I don't answer back to senior people but have got into situations where they have been tears privately and an effect on my personal life. 

As a result of my appointment change, I am being moved to a new line which I'm very rather apprehensive about (not expressed to the employer, trying to see the good side) and now being made to feel like a failure on the lines I had been manning and got confident on.

I'm a high number call taker.  I don't know if I am being silly or whether it is just more exacerbated by being in a work from home role. The people I work under seem charming in person but come across in a different way of tone online.

With the ever changing say in the era of gender non acknowledgement, there have been some situations leaving me not feeling easy, appreciate I'm subjected to making mistakes, immediately the day after a bad situation say on the phone, a head and a team leader will make repeated posts.

I'm quite old fashioned in using people's names to personalise calls, eg. Mr Surname (which I know is really old school) which isn't helping I desperately know. If I asked not to call someone sir for example I try my hardest to stop.  

The one time I was specifically identifiably singled out recently 5 mins after I even acknowledged a post meaning I'd read/viewed, I am then asked again if I have read the post which in 5 minutes I feel I had. (I don't suffer with declared learning/cognitive problems) I did not retaliate to this but I now wonder when you should say I can read. It is a public accessible to all interface being used.  This interaction greatly upset me for much of the rest of the day on this occasion. 

I don't know I just get the awful feeling the interview process was very political, the people who didn't get offered the job are coming on the same training course for the line I'm scared off and now it is like I'm being dragged down to the point I want to try and joke take me off the pedestal or something to this effect.

I'm sorry I just can't get away from how I feel and I'm utterly stuck and that I need foremost to try learn from this situation ideally. At what point do you start trying to defend yourself if I should have already been?

Thank you for any help. 

I’m sorry but I’m struggling to understand your post. Are you being criticised for misnaming people? Misgendering? What do you feel you need to defend yourself against? Maybe give a specific example and we could be more help. 

Hope you feel better soon. 

Ok your manager sends a post saying read this

5 minutes later they send another hurtfully expressly saying you can read? it's been 5 minutes, you've never declared to HR on starting the role, any problems reading and comprehending.

The very audience who cry I have autism I cannot understand you, imagine if for one minute I said this to my employer.

This forum of old completely in your attitude. 

holidaypain

Grumpy_chap said:

holidaypain said:

I got a permanent role further to my last thread (albeit still subject to future redundancy) 

Is this issue occurring in the new role, or in the old role subject to future redundancy?
Is the new role with a new employer, or the old employer where you are subject to the future redundancy?
If you are subject to future redundancy at the old employer, how have you managed to start the new role at the new employer?
If this is all at the same company where you are subject to future redundancy, your priority might be to simply get to the redundancy as efficiently as possible and protect against performance dismissal in the meantime.

Can you explain why people who were unsuccessful in getting a role need training?

Myself I wish people were honest but if it is not not meant to be, it is not meant to be. 

holidaypain

Savvy_Sue said:

I can't really make sense of your post, but after giving my name, I have frequently been asked "Is it OK to call you FirstName?" At which point I could presumably request that they call me Mrs / Ms / Lady / Professor LastName if that is my preference. Might that help? 

I did once hear a friend responding to a call where she was misidentified by title, firmly telling the person on the other end that she was MISS LastName, not Mrs. I suspect there was already a flag on her name to prevent anyone addressing her as FirstName. 

It's ok for the avoidance of doubt the employer wants everyone asked how do you wish to be addressed.

Apologies you cannot understand. 

Tabieth

holidaypain said:

Tabieth said:

holidaypain said:

Hello,

I could really do with some advice, I got a permanent role further to my last thread (albeit still subject to future redundancy) which I'm beginning to regret accepting, but I don't know if I am being over sensitive as I currently got a cold but there has been some instances which give cause for concern.

I'm not a moaning worker generally. I don't answer back to senior people but have got into situations where they have been tears privately and an effect on my personal life. 

As a result of my appointment change, I am being moved to a new line which I'm very rather apprehensive about (not expressed to the employer, trying to see the good side) and now being made to feel like a failure on the lines I had been manning and got confident on.

I'm a high number call taker.  I don't know if I am being silly or whether it is just more exacerbated by being in a work from home role. The people I work under seem charming in person but come across in a different way of tone online.

With the ever changing say in the era of gender non acknowledgement, there have been some situations leaving me not feeling easy, appreciate I'm subjected to making mistakes, immediately the day after a bad situation say on the phone, a head and a team leader will make repeated posts.

I'm quite old fashioned in using people's names to personalise calls, eg. Mr Surname (which I know is really old school) which isn't helping I desperately know. If I asked not to call someone sir for example I try my hardest to stop.  

The one time I was specifically identifiably singled out recently 5 mins after I even acknowledged a post meaning I'd read/viewed, I am then asked again if I have read the post which in 5 minutes I feel I had. (I don't suffer with declared learning/cognitive problems) I did not retaliate to this but I now wonder when you should say I can read. It is a public accessible to all interface being used.  This interaction greatly upset me for much of the rest of the day on this occasion. 

I don't know I just get the awful feeling the interview process was very political, the people who didn't get offered the job are coming on the same training course for the line I'm scared off and now it is like I'm being dragged down to the point I want to try and joke take me off the pedestal or something to this effect.

I'm sorry I just can't get away from how I feel and I'm utterly stuck and that I need foremost to try learn from this situation ideally. At what point do you start trying to defend yourself if I should have already been?

Thank you for any help. 

I’m sorry but I’m struggling to understand your post. Are you being criticised for misnaming people? Misgendering? What do you feel you need to defend yourself against? Maybe give a specific example and we could be more help. 

Hope you feel better soon. 

Ok your manager sends a post saying read this

5 minutes later they send another hurtfully expressly saying you can read? it's been 5 minutes, you've never declared to HR on starting the role, any problems reading and comprehending.

The very audience who cry I have autism I cannot understand you, imagine if for one minute I said this to my employer.

This forum of old completely in your attitude. 

Ok. Five minutes to read an email / a message does seem unreasonable in most cases. Are there agreed timescales for reading / responding to messages? (I’m assuming this doesn’t relate to an emergency situation where every minute counts?). I’d push back there saying I just hadn’t seen the message. 

Do you have any conditions where reasonable adjustments may be required? Someone who is dyslexic may need more time for example. Are you autistic? I don’t quite understand what you mean about saying this to your employer. If there are issues then being open with your line manager will only help you and them. 

And I’m really not sure what you mean about the forum of old completely in my attitude. I’m just trying to help. 

Mands

Tabieth said:

holidaypain said:

Tabieth said:

holidaypain said:

Hello,

I could really do with some advice, I got a permanent role further to my last thread (albeit still subject to future redundancy) which I'm beginning to regret accepting, but I don't know if I am being over sensitive as I currently got a cold but there has been some instances which give cause for concern.

I'm not a moaning worker generally. I don't answer back to senior people but have got into situations where they have been tears privately and an effect on my personal life. 

As a result of my appointment change, I am being moved to a new line which I'm very rather apprehensive about (not expressed to the employer, trying to see the good side) and now being made to feel like a failure on the lines I had been manning and got confident on.

I'm a high number call taker.  I don't know if I am being silly or whether it is just more exacerbated by being in a work from home role. The people I work under seem charming in person but come across in a different way of tone online.

With the ever changing say in the era of gender non acknowledgement, there have been some situations leaving me not feeling easy, appreciate I'm subjected to making mistakes, immediately the day after a bad situation say on the phone, a head and a team leader will make repeated posts.

I'm quite old fashioned in using people's names to personalise calls, eg. Mr Surname (which I know is really old school) which isn't helping I desperately know. If I asked not to call someone sir for example I try my hardest to stop.  

The one time I was specifically identifiably singled out recently 5 mins after I even acknowledged a post meaning I'd read/viewed, I am then asked again if I have read the post which in 5 minutes I feel I had. (I don't suffer with declared learning/cognitive problems) I did not retaliate to this but I now wonder when you should say I can read. It is a public accessible to all interface being used.  This interaction greatly upset me for much of the rest of the day on this occasion. 

I don't know I just get the awful feeling the interview process was very political, the people who didn't get offered the job are coming on the same training course for the line I'm scared off and now it is like I'm being dragged down to the point I want to try and joke take me off the pedestal or something to this effect.

I'm sorry I just can't get away from how I feel and I'm utterly stuck and that I need foremost to try learn from this situation ideally. At what point do you start trying to defend yourself if I should have already been?

Thank you for any help. 

I’m sorry but I’m struggling to understand your post. Are you being criticised for misnaming people? Misgendering? What do you feel you need to defend yourself against? Maybe give a specific example and we could be more help. 

Hope you feel better soon. 

Ok your manager sends a post saying read this

5 minutes later they send another hurtfully expressly saying you can read? it's been 5 minutes, you've never declared to HR on starting the role, any problems reading and comprehending.

The very audience who cry I have autism I cannot understand you, imagine if for one minute I said this to my employer.

This forum of old completely in your attitude. 

Ok. Five minutes to read an email / a message does seem unreasonable in most cases. Are there agreed timescales for reading / responding to messages? (I’m assuming this doesn’t relate to an emergency situation where every minute counts?). I’d push back there saying I just hadn’t seen the message. 

Do you have any conditions where reasonable adjustments may be required? Someone who is dyslexic may need more time for example. Are you autistic? I don’t quite understand what you mean about saying this to your employer. If there are issues then being open with your line manager will only help you and them. 

And I’m really not sure what you mean about the forum of old completely in my attitude. I’m just trying to help. 

*And I’m really not sure what you mean about the forum of old completely in my attitude. I’m just trying to help.*

This user's posting style is *highly* reminiscent of someone who used to post here. Strange sentence syntax, missing punctuation, answering a straightforward question with an example because they were unable to articulate what the problem was. 

They, too, jumped from job to job unable to settle anywhere. It was always their colleagues fault or their line manager. But each new employment brought a laundry list of what the company was doing wrong, followed by a speedy move to somewhere new.