Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give my nephew £10,000 now even though he'll likely fritter it away?

JayD

When I was young and single, I was always going overdrawn. Buying myself clothes and treats. The bank kept asking if I wanted to sub my current account from my savings account. I didn't have a savings account! So I was ready to ask them how much was in it and to say 'yes please'! My mother then told me that she had opened a very small savings account, secretly, in my name there! I don't know why or how, but it just made me stop the frivolous overspending. I was overwhelmed by her trust and had the utmost respect for the faith she had shown in me. I have never gone overdrawn since (and I am now not  young and single any more - by a good few years!).

So, I say, give him the money and don't add any strings. It is a sizeable amount that he can do something better with than the dribs and drabs he keeps spending now. Trust him. It may be his only chance to show that he can be responsible with money now.

Jemma01

I don't see what the dilemma is and why this wasn't just posted like a normal question.

It's your money, give it now or never even. How he spends it, is really not your business if you're driven by fairness, they both get to choose. If you said "folks, each one will get 10k IF and only IF they buy a house" then that's a whole other matter

bikaga

Do people not talk to each other anymore? Your niece obviously knows that you gave her money, her parents know, too, so her brother might, too. Just ask him over for a cuppa, tell him you'd also like to give him £10k, but your preference would be that he spends it, or at least most of it, on something lasting, is there anything he'd consider if he had the additional money. You never know. He might buy a car or a decent e-Bike, pay for a diploma or other courses, spend some of it on an engagement ring, invest in art or collectors' items - mortgages aren't everything there is to life.