Elderly parent and her adult son living at home due to health, how much housekeeping ?

ButterCheese

If your Mum is of sound mind then it's up to her what she charges your brother.  

It sounds like you have the hump because you pay mortgage/rent, bills, food etc and probably have little to spare at the end of the month.  Then you look at your brother and think "he's on to a good thing there".  Which I do understand - it's happened to 2 of my cousins but I won't go into that.  Ultimately it's on your Mum to either be happy with the arrangement or to say something to your brother.

KxMx

I would also place great value on Mum having someone living with her to care, supervise and keep an eye generally, removing a lot from your shoulders, in your calculations. 

silvercar

So mum lives in her own home and has invited her son to live with her. In return he provides some companionship and she feels safer in her own home, Presumably he also offers some help with tidying, shopping as a minimum I would guess. I don’t really see why he should be paying anything. 

Was your mum someone who charged her kids board when they were first working and living at home? If so, maybe that why you feel aggrieved. I would think it’s a win, win for everyone. 

Savvy_Sue

huckster said:

What are the arrangements when your Mother dies? Has she completed legal paperwork required to confirm her wishes? Does your brother get to stay in the house for as long as required? Or does the house have to be sold and estate distributed to those due to inherit? Of course this is up to your Mother, but as a minimum to ensure her wishes are put into action, If she has not obtained advice, then may be she should contact Age UK to ask about local help available.

And what are the possible ramifications if Mother needs residential care? How old is brother?

We have a similar situation in our family, although I am sure different amounts of money are involved. Frankly having a sensible adult of pre-retirement age was a massive help to elderly parents during Covid, and probably prolonged the life of one and the sanity of the other. That other now needs residential care, which would have been needed far sooner if there hadn't been some care given by the younger adult. I therefore do not begrudge them ANY financial advantage they may have had over the years.