Emergency help for unemployed son with mental health issues

cmgurney

born_again said:

Is wife also living at family address?

No, they are separated and she is living in rented accommodation. 

cmgurney

Muttleythefrog said:

I agree with the CAB suggestion.... there's too much to unpack here through a third party maybe... it can be a bit like back seat driving and especially if the subject may be difficult to motivate. Obviously if he is feeling suicidal then we can only suggest medical referral...including asking for social prescriptions if useful and available... in the end though these benefit matters should be resolvable. 

PIP can be a bit of a battle to get initially... far from uncommon for people to get zero points and end up winning a good award at appeal. I presume he never challenged the decision. Focus on the descriptors (statements of disability) of the 12 activities and working out if should qualify and then pursuing those descriptors with argument, examples, evidence, solid description of problems and help/aids needed is key.

In terms of moneysaving... things like food bank, community larders if in area... good starting points and can save significant money. Obviously being in debt won't be helping his mental state and hopefully the property can get sold so he can start feeling the wheels turning forward. I think you're in a tricky spot of trying to assist obviously loved son... I do wonder if getting him to agree to meeting CAB with you is a starting point.

Yes, you are absolutely right, it is back seat driving. I am a 71 year old widow and pretty much exhausted by trying to support him with all this over the last couple of years. It's the combination of financial difficulties and mental health problems which is the killer. The financial worries exacerbate the mental health problems and the mental health problems prevent him getting a grip on his finances through paid work. I have suggested appealing PIP, suggested CAB, and have also found a local charity to which I have pointed him. I am trying to get him to do the work himself as much as possible, or else it all ends up being my burden rather than his, but I'm very willing to support him when he does.

elsien

cmgurney said:

elsien said:

I have a feeling that the main carer bit comes from whoever claims the child benefit. 

So if he is the main carer, then his wife needs to contact the DWP to have child benefit put in his name. Which she may not be willing to do if she was only saying that for universal credit purposes, and doesn’t actually believe it. 

Is she she also claiming for the boys on universal credit?

Thanks. This is the issue. I'm not sure whether she would be prepared to do this, with him paying her back the child benefit he then received each month. But he can always ask. She is working, so not claiming UC.

So effectively, if he would be claiming the child benefit and then giving it to her back to her, he’s not really the main carer is he? And she certainly doesn’t perceive him as that otherwise she would be handing the child benefit over.
Trying to wangle things to get more money from the DWP is generally not a good idea. it can come back and bite you. 

Spoonie_Turtle

elsien said:

I have a feeling that the main carer bit comes from whoever claims the child benefit. 

So if he is the main carer, then his wife needs to contact the DWP to have child benefit put in his name. Which she may not be willing to do if she was only saying that for universal credit purposes, and doesn’t actually believe it. 

Is she also claiming for the boys on universal credit?

That's a common misconception even within DWP - it's in practice their default decision but I'm sure the guidance says it's only one factor, not THE determining one.

"Main responsibility
F1063 Where the child or qualifying young person normally lives with two or more persons who are not a couple, the deciding factor will be the person who has main responsibility. Who has that main responsibility should be decided between the persons with whom the child or qualifying young person normally lives.

F1064 If
1. joint agreement cannot be reached as to which person has main responsibility or
2. in the opinion of the DM the choice of person with main responsibility does not reflect the actual arrangements

the DM may determine which person has main responsibility.

Who can have main responsibility?
F1065 If the DM is required to determine who has main responsibility they should note that; main responsibility is not defined in regulations and should be given the meaning of the person who is normally answerable for, or called to account for the child or young person. In determining who has the main responsibility for a child or young person consideration should be given to:
1. Who makes day to day decisions about the child's welfare including, for example, arranging and taking them to visits to the doctor or dentist or enrolling and taking the child to and from school?
2. Who provides the child with clothing, shoes, toiletries and other items needed for daily use?
3. Who is the main contact for the child's school, doctor and dentist?
4. Who cares for the child when the child is ill?

This list should not be considered exhaustive."

ADM Chapter F1 https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/68af13ef969253904d1558d9/adm-ch-f1.pdf

I was wrong, it doesn't mention child benefit, except for determining if they "normally live" with someone - and the reference there says who receives Child Benefit is not taken into account.

sheramber

Only one person can get Child Benefit for a child.

You normally qualify for Child Benefit if you’re responsible for a child under 16 and you live in the UK.

You’ll usually be responsible for a child if either:

• you live with them
• you’re paying at least the same amount as Child Benefit (or the equivalent in kind) towards looking after them - for example on food, clothes or pocket money

https://www.gov.uk/child-benefit/eligibility

pmduk

If you have a local branch of MIND, you'll probably find they are helpful with advice.

huckster

Seems quite clear to me. The person receiving Child Benefit believes they have the significant caring responsibility and associated caring costs, as they are not willing to give up receiving Child Benefit. 

If the OP's Son believes they should be receiving the Child Benefit, then he should contact Child Benefit and raise a dispute.