Protecting an elderly person's money when family access may have been misused

totalnightmare

I’d really value hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar.

I’m helping an elderly relative with dementia whose finances have become complicated. While she was abroad for a while, another family member had her bank card and access to one of her accounts. Looking back through statements, there now seem to be a number of transfers, withdrawals and purchases that don’t look right.  

The situation is already being reviewed formally, but I’d like to understand what practical steps others have taken in comparable circumstances.

For example:

Did you go straight to the bank or the police, or did you raise it through a solicitor first?

How did you protect your relative’s funds while things were being looked into?

Were you able to get money reimbursed or recovered later on?

Any tips for documenting what happened so it’s taken seriously?

I’m not asking for legal advice—just hoping to hear from people who’ve dealt with safeguarding or suspected misuse of an elderly relative’s account, and how you approached it.

Thanks in advance for any shared experience.

Keep_pedalling

Does anyone have power of attorney or deputyship for her?

tetrarch

Does your relative have any kind of POA in place?

Regards

Tet

MyRealNameToo

totalnightmare said:

I’d really value hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar.

I’m helping an elderly relative with dementia whose finances have become complicated. While she was abroad for a while, another family member had her bank card and access to one of her accounts. Looking back through statements, there now seem to be a number of transfers, withdrawals and purchases that don’t look right.  

The situation is already being reviewed formally, but I’d like to understand what practical steps others have taken in comparable circumstances.

For example:

Did you go straight to the bank or the police, or did you raise it through a solicitor first?

How did you protect your relative’s funds while things were being looked into?

Were you able to get money reimbursed or recovered later on?

Any tips for documenting what happened so it’s taken seriously?

I’m not asking for legal advice—just hoping to hear from people who’ve dealt with safeguarding or suspected misuse of an elderly relative’s account, and how you approached it.

Thanks in advance for any shared experience.

Need much more detail... how did the person have access to the funds? Was it a joint account with the person? Did they just lend them their card and pin? Was it formal third party access?

What was the agreement when access was given? What was the state of mind of the now elder when this was done? How certain can you be of what the agreement was at the time? Was there any power of attorney, deputyship or other formal control? 

born_again

Bank will not speak to you unless you have POA or 3rd party mandate, on the persons acc.
Police will cite Civil matter.
Not sure what a solicitor would do.

You could speak to the person who had the card, as it is possible that this is all genuine. Given the mention of dementia.

Who flagged the issue?

Daniel54

I had POA for an elderly close relation who was of sound mind,but asked me to take over management of her financial affairs.In retrospect I think one reason for her doing so was that she knew a very close friend was withdrawing monies to which they were not entitled,but to confront her would have been too difficult and painful.

So this is different from your scenario,particularly if you don’t have POA.But to answer your questions,my approach was as follows:

No point in thinking this a police matter as the information I had was compelling but not conclusive .It was not worth going there.The card and PIN had been given willingly,although of course to do so is in contravention of the T&Cs 

I cancelled and replaced the bank card with a new PIN.I asked the bank to alert me to any untoward activity

I let it be known I was monitoring all transactions on my relative’s bank accounts

The questionable withdrawals ceased

To summarise,neither a solicitor or the Police will be able to help unless your evidence is overwhelming,which does not appear to be the case.You are looking at a high burden of proof

If you wish to confront the other party and ask for the funds to be returned,then do so.You can expect denial of wrongdoing in reply.

t would suggest your best next step is to avoid any repeat.But if you don’t have POA then your immediate scope of action is limited.

Savvy_Sue

If she does NOT have Power of Attorney, it may not be too late to arrange it, as long as she understands what she is signing at the point at which she signs it. Although it's possible to DIY, in these circumstances I would most definitely use a solicitor. Think about when your relative is at her 'best' - and would be able to speak to a solicitor alone, and confirm what she wants to do, and that she understands what she wants to do. 

It does not matter if she does not remember or understand what she has done later that day: the solicitor will be responsible for checking that she understood AT THE TIME OF SIGNING. 

Without PofA, you're going to be limited, but your relative would need to get the card that's being misused cancelled and a new one issued. How you prevent that one being handed over too is a whole other question ...