Wife Confesses £10,000 CC debt, help please.

shocked_2

So my wife just revealed that over the last two years, using 3 credit cards she has ran up over £9,000 of debt.

I do not understand CC's or debt, because I have never had any of either, so I need advice badly.

My life savings cover the debt, just, so, is my best idea to simply empty my saving and pay off these cards?

I just want the whole thing to go away, even if that means losing the £10,000 I have saved up over the last 20 years.

What should I do?


Thanks.

Need_To_Sort_It

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T to YOU for standing up and not condemning her, just wanting to sort it out, so many people here in debt do not have support from their partners so I would like to say WELL DONE YOU.

Someone will be along with advice about how to handle the debt, I am new to debt busting so cant help but could not post without saying hats off, i wish I had had a hubby like that!

Merlot

shocked wrote: »

So my wife just revealed that over the last two years, using 3 credit cards she has ran up over £9,000 of debt.

I do not understand CC's or debt, because I have never had any of either, so I need advice badly.

My life savings cover the debt, just, so, is my best idea to simply empty my saving and pay off these cards?

I just want the whole thing to go away, even if that means losing the £10,000 I have saved up over the last 20 years.

What should I do?


Thanks.

First of all, don't panic, can you pop up a statement of affairs - incoming and outgoings, then we will see what we can do. If your wife is servicing the debts are 0% then I would say leave your life savings alone, they will be earning more interest, if the debts are costing her (aprs) please post these as well, you may be able to get a balance transfer to a lower apr and re-pay the debts off gradually, may I ask how old you are, you say your life savings, I don't want to be rude but if you are young enough to build up another nest egg then I would repay the debt, but please post a SOA first and details of the debts.

Merlot

duchy

I don't think it's as simple as that. A lot depends if your wife works (so could be in a position to make big contributions to paying back) , what the money was spent on and why.....and to be honest how you didn't notice. Most people overspend for a reason and if you are going to pay it off (although if you do I suggest you have some kind of plan to try and replenish the savings over time jointly) I think you'd need to be clear why she did and what needs to change to avoid it happening again (ie empty nest syndrome, boredom, reaction to a bereavement , depression -could be one of many many things). I am sure you are horribly shocked but it is something you need to sit down and talk very honestly about or even consider counseling. The sensible thing would be to pay it off as it's pointless having savings that are earning less than interst been accrued but before that you need to dig out why it happened and how to avoid it happening again.
I hope that makes some kind of sense -at a time nothing much is ! I'm sure if you make this a joint project you can work it out and maybe even emerge stronger and closer as a couple at the end of it all (although I'm sure at this point you don't see that at all !)

angelflower_2

well done for supporting her and in an ideal world it would be great to have someone bale us debtors out but to be honest my gut reaction would not be to pay it all off for her without dealing with her underlying need to spend money or it will just happen again to be honest. Can you get any arrears cleared of and then sit down with her and work out a budget where she takes responsibility for the debt and starts to clear it off? Someone will come along and offer info re transferrring the debt to 0% interest cards so the debt doesnt increase and you can help her take responsibility for her spending, slowly pay them off without things getting worse.

If poss, please post
a) who are the cards with
b) current balance outstanding
c) limit on card
d) current interest rate

That will help the knowledgeable ones advise re stoozing (theres a word you might not have come accross yet LOL but dont panic about that now.)

MissEyre

Hi, welcome!

Your wife is lucky to have someone so supportive-it must have been a huge shock to you to hear this. As Merlot says, if we can have the APRs for the cards (don't think you posted them?) and some more information about you incomings and outgoings, we can take a look and give some more specific advice.

From personal experience, it is important that your wife knows why she has spent all this money-if the debts are all simply cleared (as lots of us on here have done, me included, with consolidation loans/gifts from family) there is quite a high risk that she may build the debts back up again-not trying to worry you even more, just make you aware of this as a potential issue.

All the best

shocked_2

Merlot, we are both working and without posting up exact income/outgoings and I can say with a degree of certainty that on an average month our balance sheet balances across an average year.

This debt has come about from shopaholic tendancies, impulse buying etc, that is to say, we are not living above our means, she just went crazy buying crap for 2 years.

I have the three CC statements here, and can see they are all at their limit, beyond that I all I see is big numbers.

Buffythedebtslayer

ok, some where on the statment it will give you a % interest rate.

I know its horrible, but read them closely. its normally in the list of charges.

good luck
xx

Merlot

shocked wrote: »

Merlot, we are both working and without posting up exact income/outgoings and I can say with a degree of certainty that on an average month our balance sheet balances across an average year.

This debt has come about from shopaholic tendancies, impulse buying etc, that is to say, we are not living above our means, she just went crazy buying crap for 2 years.

I have the three CC statements here, and can see they are all at their limit, beyond that I all I see is big numbers.

Shocked, thanks for replying, to help you answer your initial question, "should you use your life savings to pay off her debt" then we do need to see the exact figures for incoming/outgoings each month. You also need to find out the APR's for each of these cards, please post back, we want to help you, but first get a cup of tea and take a deep breath, you have had a shock and then come back to us and we will help you.

Merlot

duchy

If this is all in the last three years can you between you pinpoint what triggered the suddenly launching into "buying crap" ? Sounds like something changed-even if it was just aquiring a creditcard (or had she had them for a while before this and was sensible? )
Don't feel you HAVE to post an SOA-often it can be very useful but it isn't compulsory but is of course anonymous APR would definitely help though !

splishsplash

Hi Shocked,
While I understand your desire to put this behind you as quickly as you can and by any means possible, I wouldn't rush into anything hasty just yet. Take a deep breath and a step back, and do nothing until after the weekend at least, just to let your head clear a bit! I'm going to quickfire some questions at you to have a bit of a think about over the next couple of days:

• Do you and your wife have any joint accounts, and is your mortgage in joint names? (In other words, I'm asking if there are any financial associations between you and your wife)
• Is your wife earning? Has she been making regular repayments? What kind of interest rates are the cards carrying? Has she defaulted on any of them?
• What is the likelihood of you or your wife being accepted for 0% or low life-of-balance cards? You could balance transfer the debt to stop interest accumulating, and it would give you both some breathing space while you come to terms with what's happened and figure out a plan of action.
• What has the money been spent on? Is there an underlying problem that needs to be dealt with, or just some poor judgement? £10,000 in two years is a significant amount of spending - is there anything to show for it?
• What's your general financial condition like at the moment? Are you both able to set and stay within realistic budgets based on your current income(s)?

Sorry about the long list, but you need the answers to all these questions before you both can sort out what you're going to do...
Gather all your facts, and post again with the answers, and also maybe consider filling out and posting a Statement of Affairs (see the sticky at the top of the page), so that you can get the best possible advice from everyone here.
Calm down, don't panic, don't react in a way you may regret later, just take your time and get over the shock before you do anything!
Good luck, keep posting.