Wife Confesses £10,000 CC debt, help please.

barbarawright

GavB79 wrote: »

As has been said before, the most important thing here is to establish how this debt has come about. Your monthly surplus being spent plus this extra debt on top suggests a serious underlying problem.
Hate to say it, but perhaps she is lavishing money on a young lover or something. Almost certainly not, but if that's the case you sure as hell don't want to spend your £10k savings!

Some of the money may be going on ordinary household expenses. There are a few gaps in the SOA, as has been pointed out and it seems odd that one partner has been able to save £1000s while another has apparently overspent without having anything much to show for it. It may sound harsh but perhaps you should review the way your joint finances have been organised over the last few years. There's a thread here of a woman who has run up debt because her partner believes she can run a home just on child benefit. Not saying that is the case here, but are you sure that your savings aren't rather too ambitious given that neither of you are massive earners?

If I were you I'd put a little more time into working out where the money has gone and how to avoid the situation happening again rather than rushing into a payment plan and possibly sacificing you (joint) savings. £10,000 is a lot but it won't go up in the next couple of weeks so there's no desperate urgency to make a major financial decision.

RoxieW

The low amounts for clothes and fun days out strike me. £10 a month for a family of 4 fun days out? It may be that you dont go out or do free things but if you do then I'd think about how much it actually costs. IE a trip to the cinema for 4 is likely to cost at least £25 in tickets plus petrol/popcorn or whatever else.
And with the clothes the amount stated yearly wouldn't even cover school uniform in our house.
Sit down with your wife and make sure everything on the SOA is realistic - I've found its better to have realistic amounts for everything rather then assume you have a massive float but then have problems when it just doesnt happen.

bandraoi

All of these seem low:

Food 360.00 - It's possible that it has been this low, but I suspect that the average family spends more unless someone is consciously trying to keep it down.
Health and Hygiene 20.00 - Really shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, showergel, toilet paper . . . I think I average £15 a month as a single person and that's not including any luxury products, does your wife use Clarins/Clinique/Lancome make up /make up remover/moisturiser/body lotion. A single bottle of perfume or foundation will take a months budget. Add up what you're actually going to need.
Cleaning 20.00 - Again really? Cleaning products are expensive, washing powder for clothes is probably setting you back at least £10 a month, one bottle of a standard cleaner can cost £3-£4.
Clothing Mr 5.00 - This is £65 a year, A pair of shoes for work and a shirt will cost you more than that. If you review your finances you'll probably find that it's more like £65 pm up to now.
Clothing Mrs 5.00 - As above but clothes for women tend to be more expensive and need to be replaced more often. If you've been to a wedding together in the past year you'll find that she spent twice the yearly budget on the outfit for that alone.
Clothing Kid1 10.00 - As someone already commented this won't even cover alot of school uniforms. If your kids are growing they'll need new pairs of shoes and trainers several times a year too.
Clothing Kid2 10.00 - as above
Christmas 30.00 - £390 is all you spend on Christmas? Christmas isn't just the presents you buy each other, there's the extra food, the several boxes of chocolates for other people, the alcohol, the Christmas parties (and see clothes above), the Christmas tree and decorations, possibly trips to meet family members.
Holidays - Not even the cost of a weekend trip to visit family members somewhere?
Family days out 10.00 - £130 per year,
Sport Mr 10.00 - Really £2.50 per week? As someone else mentioned, what sport is it? is there no equipment, trips to competitions/competition entry fees?
Sport Mrs 12.00 - As above with £3.00 per week?
Sport Kid1 10.00 - As above
Sport Kid2 10.00 - As above
Pocket Money Mr 50.00 - This is not even £2.00 per day, think about what you actually spend, a cup of coffee will set you back nearly that much
Pocket Money Mrs 50.00 - This is not even £2.00 per day, think about what you actually spend, a cup of coffee will set you back nearly that much

Newgirl_2

Firstly, I echo what everyone else has said - well done for being willing to sort this out and help your wife going forward. My OH and I generated our debt jointly so we are duty bound to help each other - I can't imagine what it is like to have such a problem dropped on you.

I'm not the best source of advice for sorting this but I would make two suggestions.

1. Your wife needs to be involved in sorting this out or she will never realise the reason this happened (as we call 'the lightbulb moment') and you will clear the debt, only for it to happen again. Lots of people are on this forum because they consolidated debt only to have it grow again. The most important things, however you clear it, is to cut up the credit cards and log everything that you ALL spend, not just her. There is no point one of you saving and counting the pennies if the other is still spending.

2. My OH's suggestion - using savings is a good idea only if you can't transfer the debt to a card which charges lower interest than the interest you are gaining on the savings. Eg if you get 4% on your savings, there is no point leaving the debt on a card with 6%. If, however, you can get a 0% BT (and cut up the card) then we would put it on there and only use the savings you need to to pay off the last bit before the 0% ends.
If your wife can't get a card, you could pay it off and you have a card FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY. the one the OH and I have found impossible is having no savings and no emergency credit - it's a killer when the car breaks down, the boiler dies etc etc.
If you use your savings, you wife could then allocate her money (whcih would previously have gone to the cards) into your savings to help top up and give you the chunk for the end.

Above all, good luck and let us know how you get on.

Please encourage your wife to join the site - it has helped us no end and she will hopefully have her LBM while she is here.

Newgirl

mummytofour

To be honest there are 2 ways of looking at this either its her problem if this is the case then help her move HER debt on to interest free cards. IF you see this as a joint problem then I would pay the card off with your saving. Because credit is a slippery slope and its a horrid harsh one best avoided. There is also I guess the option of paying half the debt then she can over pay on the remanding debt.
Well done for being a good hubby.

mrs-d_3

Hello shocked, just wanted to see how are things? Hope you had a good chat with your wife about the debt issue.

charleypink

shocked wrote: »

What has the money been spent on? Beats me, all I can get out of her right now is "clothes" and nights out. However, she has not had much of either from what I can see so goodness only knows. I'll get to the bottom of that and steps will be taken to address the spending, but it is clearing £10,000 now that is on my mind.

believe me £10,000 is easily spent! I was in the same position as your wife. i managed to rack up just under £10,000 on one credit card and cound'nt tell you what i spent it on! my debt came about after suffering from depression. Im well now, but working hard to pay off my debt.
all the best to you and your wife,
charley:o