Neighbour dispute after extension

vic_sf49

Yes, they may have been wondering why you hadn't been for a chat, once they'd told the builder to stop. 

If I was the neighbour, I would have expected that at some point too. They might have been politely waiting for your build to finish, or for you to have time, or who knows. 

And are they unfriendly, or just reserved and a bit shy?

We don't know about previous interactions you've had with them, so it's hard to judge via a forum, but as a nation, I often feel we come across as being a bit more private/standoffish, without necessarily wanting to.

So have you spoken to them yet? 

skintdaddy79

vic_sf49 said:

Yes, they may have been wondering why you hadn't been for a chat, once they'd told the builder to stop. 

If I was the neighbour, I would have expected that at some point too. They might have been politely waiting for your build to finish, or for you to have time, or who knows. 

And are they unfriendly, or just reserved and a bit shy?

We don't know about previous interactions you've had with them, so it's hard to judge via a forum, but as a nation, I often feel we come across as being a bit more private/standoffish, without necessarily wanting to.

So have you spoken to them yet? 

As they'd gone direct to our builder and cancelled the relaying I assumed they were arranging something themselves. And they never mentioned anything for nearly 4 weeks and we're far too busy to worry about some remedial work to the drive they stopped from being completed! 
And yes, unfriendly. Other neighbours have had issues with them in the past so it's not just us! I messaged our builder last week but he's on holiday until next week. I have told the neighbour this and am awaiting to hear from him.

WIAWSNB

skintdaddy79 said:

As they'd gone direct to our builder and cancelled the relaying I assumed they were arranging something themselves. And they never mentioned anything for nearly 4 weeks and we're far too busy to worry about some remedial work to the drive they stopped from being completed! 
And yes, unfriendly. Other neighbours have had issues with them in the past so it's not just us! I messaged our builder last week but he's on holiday until next week. I have told the neighbour this and am awaiting to hear from him.

Have you got clear in your head what you are prepared to do about this? 

Always worth thinking through the options, and possible consequences, before you discuss it further. 

Try and keep the emotive out of it if possible.

vic_sf49

So what do the neighbours actually want, in detail? Do you know yet? 

If you've said somewhere over the last 6 pages, I've missed it or forgotten?

All we're getting from you OP, is the same thing on repeat. Yes we know they said stop to the builder. Yes we know it was 4 weeks ago. Yes we know you're busy. Yes we know you assumed they were going to sort it themselves. Blah blah. All of that is not going to resolve anything. 

This is like getting blood from a stone, so I'll bow out for my own sanity. 

Bye bye. 

Niv

Sounds to me that the gap was caused by removing a couple of fence panels to facilitate the OPs extension, the gap sounds like it makes sense to pave to match the rest (about 6 pavers I am guessing). 

Although there may be no 'legal' right for the neighbour to have this matched, OMG, its clearly the civil thing to do in the circumstance.

There are communication issues from everyone involved, OP, you need to draw a line under that, you are just as guilty of making assumptions as the neighbour and builder. Builder told you on the day, you then did nothing with that information.

If you don't want to pay for the labour - do it yourself.

I fear the OP is making a rod for their own back and for the sake of a couple hundred quid they are going to have years of problems with this neighbour. 

Oxid8uk

Unfortunately, I think you wrongly assumed that just because the neighbour asked the builder to stop what they were doing (which they were within their rights to do) that the neighbour was then going to sort it out themselves.

When the builder contacted you to tell them that the neighbour had asked them to stop the onus was on you to talk to your neighbour (in a friendly, diplomatic way) to find out why, and to come to an agreement on how to complete the works. If I was your neighbour that is what I would be expecting.

Some people can be hard to deal with but sometimes you just need to put your big pants on and sort things out sooner rather than later, otherwise it snowballs into something bigger than it should have been….

Cressida100

It would be interesting to hear the neighbours view of this. They must be sat there seething at your inability to talk to them. They've put up with building works since March (16 weeks) and of course they want to end up with at least as tidy a garden as before. Try and look at it from their perspective. You're sat there with your shiny new extension and they end up with a missing fence and a right mess. Of course you should put it right. If you had never built the extension they wouldn't have had the issue. YOU should be talking to them and not leaving it to the builders. 

sheramber

The builder told the neighbour they were relaying the lifted blocks and filling the gap with stones.  Whose idea was that?

Neighbour did not want stones. He wanted blocks in the gap to  make the gap blend in with existing  layout. 

So, neighbour  told builder to stop as he didn’t want what was proposed. 

After 4 weeks of no action he has asked when the work will be completed. 

It seems reasonable for him to wait for a response to his  objection. 

I don’t think your neighbour is being unreasonable to  want the area to blend in .

I wonder how he considers the trouble his neighbour building their extension has caused him. 

Boohoo

sheramber said:

The builder told the neighbour they were relaying the lifted blocks and filling the gap with stones.  Whose idea was that?

Neighbour did not want stones. He wanted blocks in the gap to  make the gap blend in with existing  layout. 

So, neighbour  told builder to stop as he didn’t want what was proposed. 

After 4 weeks of no action he has asked when the work will be completed. 

It seems reasonable for him to wait for a response to his  objection. 

I don’t think your neighbour is being unreasonable to  want the area to blend in .

I wonder how he considers the trouble his neighbour building their extension has caused him. 

A late friend of mine had the same issue a few years back when the builders took the fencing down and built an extension.

My mates side was a mess and paving was taken up and left in his garden.

Strangely all this happened when they were holiday for 10 days and come home and in the morning looked out of the window and saw the mess.

All their trespassing and removing of slabs were on CCTV.

He went round to speak to neighbour but he was not home and the builder just said the neighbour said my mate said do whatever you need which was wrong 

About 3 weeks later the neighbour was home so he confronted him and his neighbour took him into his house and showed him the work and it was very good and the garden had been landscaped and new fencing up.

Mate said come round mine and he did and his face was a picture when he saw the mess and when he looked at the before and after photos he went back home and shouted and swore at his builder.

The same day they came round and put everything back like new and apologised but why couldn't they have done that to start with.

Neighbour came back with flowers, chocs and a bottle of Vodka as an apology.

Shame it has to be like this but I suppose that's life.