Mums finances. Sister thinks I am up to something.

Spendless

Does your Mum have any furniture or white goods that could do with updating/replacing?

Any decoration needed? 

I spoke to my parents yesterday (76 & 80) about what they should consider doing in their home. I suggested removing their bath for a larger walk in shower. Changing around their open plan living/dining room because its a huge space to heat in winter and if they didnt already have an eye level oven, Id suggest the kitchen changed too. Then overall decorating for a freshen up. If they were still looking to spend a chunk of money, Id suggest a new drive, not that it 'needs' one as such but theirs is the original from the place being built getting towards 50 years ago. 

scatmanjohn

Spendless said:

Does your Mum have any furniture or white goods that could do with updating/replacing?

Any decoration needed? 

I spoke to my parents yesterday (76 & 80) about what they should consider doing in their home. I suggested removing their bath for a larger walk in shower. Changing around their open plan living/dining room because its a huge space to heat in winter and if they didnt already have an eye level oven, Id suggest the kitchen changed too. Then overall decorating for a freshen up. If they were still looking to spend a chunk of money, Id suggest a new drive, not that it 'needs' one as such but theirs is the original from the place being built getting towards 50 years ago. 

Thanks. New washing machine, fridge freezer, cooker. House is recently decorated. The house has always been kept in good condition. Boiler is fairly old so that may be something to think about.

dreaming

Have the 3 of you (Mum, sister and you) sat down together to discuss this? If you are able to have a calm discussion (go somewhere public so less likelihood of a slanging match) then maybe things could be ironed out amicably. It may be that your sister, after doing most things for your mum (as you admitted) now feels a little cut out of the relationship and might also see it is as a judgement on her that she hadn't done these things - although I'm sure that wasn't your intention. Make sure your Mum's voice gets heard by both you and your sister too, as I know sometimes the sibling dynamic can override the objective which is to do what's best for Mum. As for LPA decisions - my advice (as a nearly 70 year old) is to get those set up as soon as possible as you never know what, or when, things might happen and it is much easier to do whilst Mum can make her own decisions rather than having to possibly go through courts if she does lose capacity. 

elsien

Your mum should do an LPA, but she needs to seriously think about how it’s going to work. Because if she just chooses you, your sister is probably going to claim undue influence, but if she has the both of you and you have completely different ideas, then it’s going to be stalemate anyway.
So as above, sitting down together and having a proper conversation about how your mum would want her money to work if she was no longer able to do it for herself might be a starting point.