Financial settlement - panicking

CucumberMelon

Hi, this is going to be long so apologies for that.

My husband has left me within the last month after a period of mental abuse/cheating. Last year, he also revealed to me that he had been hiding £15K of credit card debt from me which we paid off with some extra borrowing on a remortgage (he has since taken a loan out and paid me that back, which is odd behaviour) I also found out that the job he was made redundant from last year - he was actually sacked for bullying two female colleagues. Apparently he had multiple warnings before they eventually sacked him. His new workplace are unaware of this which I find terrifying but this all outlines what type of character he turned out to be.

We were married for 2.5 years but living together for 5 years in total.

I paid all of the deposit on the marital home from a settlement from my first divorce. In the same settlement I was also awarded a share of my ex husband's pension - the pot now stands at around £300K. This has grown due to passively over the last five years and I don't contribute anything towards it.

My STBXH has nothing. No assets or anything. He is feckless with money and has debts.

I have spoken to a solicitor who gave me a really grim view of what he could take from me and I am spiralling. He is a higher earner than me (I earn £26K and he earns around £39K) and could get a new property with a smaller share of the equity from this house than I could with a smaller share. My proposal would be that I keep the deposit and offer him the equity accrued in the marriage and then a larger chunk of my pension. My immediate concern is being able to afford somewhere to live.

The equity in the house is around £130,000 (£111,000 of that is my deposit) so I would like to offer him £29,000 and possibly up to £100,000 of my pension.

I should also say that he doesn't have the means to fight me in court. I don't really have any means to fight him either but I could lay my hands on funds if absolutely necessary.

If I made him this kind of offer and accepted, what is the likelihood that the court would agree it? I am not looking to offer nothing but my immediate housing needs are my biggest worry.

I am very battered and anxious so empathy would be hugely appreciated. Thank you.

elsien

Does he not have a pension pot himself to also take into account? 

CucumberMelon

elsien said:

Does he not have a pension pot himself to also take into account? 

He has about £12K in a workplace pension. He's paid absolutely nothing but the bare minimum for not very long at all.

Voyager2002

If a divorcing couple agree a financial settlement and there are no children to consider, the court will almost invariably endorse what is agreed.

sheramber

A marriage of under 5 years counts a short marriage which affects the financial settlement.

You  may be entitled to keep what you had before the marriage.  

Did the solicitor you consulted explain that to you ? 

You need to speak to a divorce lawyer. 

RAS

There are two components, divorce and settlement. Is this a good divorce lawyer or a family lawyer, as you are on the cusp of arguing for a short marriage. 

See a good divorce lawyer quickly and serve the divorce papers ASAP yourself for £612. You can sort out the absolute later  Also make a new will because right now he'd probably get everything.

It's the financial settlement where you may need legal advice (try wikivorce.com for a starter) both on what's reasonable and what's the worst case scenario.. You pretty much have to try mediation. If you can agree a settlement, there's a good chance the court will approve even if the shares aren't equal.

VyEu

I don't see why you're giving him 100k of pension, did you accrued that during the marriage? If not it would just be a split of what was accrued within the marriage as a starting point (given no kids and short marriage). Your pension share is plainly non matrimonial (with this husband).

Your offer is too vague in the context. Is 29k enough for him to get a deposit for a 1bed by himself? But tbh 29k should be able to get a decent rental deposit together.

As long as both parties needs are met, court isn't likely to throw back an order unless it's unjustifiably unfair to one party