Debt stressing me out, can't sleep!

sapphire193

Hi everyone. I'm after a bit of help! I have some debt that I would like to pay off, it's been stressing me out and I really just need help on how best to approach this. I have a tumultuous relationship with money and really just need some guidance on priorities and how to organise things. I have no idea what I'm doing at the moment - I didn't have a great upbringing, my parents had no idea about money and were very poor so my relationship with money has been problematic. We are both 30 years old. 

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information

Number of adults in household........... 2

Number of children in household......... 0

Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details

Monthly income after tax................ 2700

Partners monthly income after tax....... 1900

Benefits................................ 0

Other income............................ 0

Total monthly income.................... 4600

Monthly Expense Details

Mortgage................................ 1219.56

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 227

Electricity............................. 72.5

Gas..................................... 72.5

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 0

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 25

TV Licence.............................. 0

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0

Internet Services....................... 32.95

Groceries etc. ......................... 400

Clothing................................ 0

Petrol/diesel........................... 150

Road tax................................ 37.5

Car Insurance........................... 65

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 50

Car parking............................. 0

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 0

Other child related expenses............ 0

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 223

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0

Buildings insurance..................... 32

Contents insurance...................... 0

Life assurance ......................... 38

Other insurance......................... 55

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)......100

Haircuts................................ 20

Entertainment........................... 15

Holiday................................. 0

Emergency fund.......................... 0

Total monthly expenses.................. 2835.01

Assets

Cash.................................... 8000 (emergency fund) 

House value (Gross)..................... 350000

Shares and bonds........................ 1700 (left over in LISA) 

Car(s).................................. 1000 (lol if that) 

Other assets............................ 0

Total Assets............................ 360700

Secured & HP Debts

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage...................... 272,710.30...1219.56......4.33%

Total secured & HP debts...... 272,710.30

Unsecured Debts

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Natwest Credit Card ...................1300......150.......0%

Creation Finance (Sofa payment) ...................1310.80.....32.77.......0% 

V12 Retail Finance (Mattress).......................709......88.67.......0%

Total unsecured debts..........3319.80.....271.44

Monthly Budget Summary

Total monthly income.................... 4600

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2835.01

Available for debt repayments........... 1784.99

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 271.44

Amount short for making debt repayments. 0

Personal Balance Sheet Summary

Total assets (things you own)........... 360700

Total HP & Secured debt................. 273,710.30

Total Unsecured debt.................... 3319.80

Net Assets.............................. 83,969.90 

We moved into our house last year as first time buyers, we had very little furniture and so had to get some bits on finance. I've never had anything on finance before or any credit cards so now I'm panicking that I'm just spiralling and it will all be downhill from here. 

We have plans of things that we want to do but I just don't know if we can afford it and I really don't want to get into more debt. Some things we want to do: 
- New kitchen (this is in desperate need as our kitchen is only barely functional at the moment) 
- New car (used car obviously, our cars are both 15yrs old and have been needing much more maintenance and fixing recently. they are reaching 100,000 miles). 
- Experiences (I spent my whole life saving for a house and had no experiences, no stories to tell people from my younger years, no pictures of me in cool places, just nothing to look back on and reminisce.)

I just don't think I can afford to do these things, they are all so expensive and the debt I have looming over me is just terrifying.  

How do I tackle this? Where do we allocate money? 

Grumpelstiltskin

No water rates where do you live?

You should have £1500 a month left over where is that going?

sapphire193

Grumpelstiltskin said:

No water rates where do you live?

You should have £1500 a month left over where is that going?

Scotland. 

That is our spending money and savings split between my partner and myself. 

Grumpelstiltskin

So what are you spending on that isn't in your SOA?

Aslan69

You’re in a solid position.

You’ve got £1,700+ spare each month and only £3.3k in 0% debt. Just clear that over the next 2–3 months. Use £3k from your £8k emergency fund to speed it up, but keep at least £5k as backup.

Then, set up savings pots for the kitchen, car, and travel. No more finance, save first, buy later.

sapphire193

Grumpelstiltskin said:

So what are you spending on that isn't in your SOA?

I'm still furnishing the home so furniture, paint, tools etc. That's mainly what it's going on now. we're not focusing too much on saving as we have a lot of house to sort out at the moment and have had some big unexpected home repairs recently. We try to save £500 a month.

Sorry, I didn't know where to add all this.

sapphire193

Aslan69 said:

You’re in a solid position.

You’ve got £1,700+ spare each month and only £3.3k in 0% debt. Just clear that over the next 2–3 months. Use £3k from your £8k emergency fund to speed it up, but keep at least £5k as backup.

Then, set up savings pots for the kitchen, car, and travel. No more finance, save first, buy later.

My partner is really bad with saving money. He doesn't earn a lot so his money doesn't go as far as mine. I can save but don't think I'd save up enough for car before ours die completely. I drive for work so need something decent. 

katsu

What are you both spending 1500 on each month? 

Why did you both decide to use finance instead of saving up food a few months? 

The credit card balance is probably more worrying than the bed, as its way to use a card for X and Y and again for Z but don't get too worried as you've decided to put a stop to it. 

How much are you saving each month? 

You can have holidays or a kitchen, just not at the same time. 

You can have cheaper yet exciting trips, say get an interrail ticket for under £200, save about £800 for hotel and spending money then go to spend a week traveling around Europe by train (see the excellent man at seat 61 website for ideas). You could spend less than £1k on your week if you are careful where and when you go for eg. 

Talk to your partner about where your money is going and what you want and need to spend money on and save for. 

Grumpelstiltskin

You need to  get your partner on board then you can sort this out together.
u
I don't think you really know where every penny is going so with a bit of joint hard work this could be sorted very easily.

sapphire193

kimwp said:

I'm struggling to see what you are anxious about. Is it that you are worried about getting into more debt?

Re your SOA, are you really spending £233 on medical a month?
Also, £1200 is a lot for two adults to spend on presents.

Best to save up before you spend, but your SOA shows a decent surplus, so you can save for the new kitchen. What is making it barely functional?

It's private medication so yes. Also includes contact lense subscription. 

£1200 a year is presents for all of our families, birthday and christmas and presents for each other birthdays christmas. Unfortunately we have big families lol. 

The kitchen is essentially falling apart and we are using plug in appliances as it needs to be completely gutted and re-done. It's fine but it's been hard living like this. Annoyingly the money we had put aside for the kitchen had to go on a new roof instead. 

I'm worried because everytime I save for things, some boring emergency comes along and I'm back to square one. Just wasting my life away by saving and spending on emergencies and repeat. 

sapphire193

katsu said:

What are you both spending 1500 on each month? 

Why did you both decide to use finance instead of saving up food a few months? 

The credit card balance is probably more worrying than the bed, as its way to use a card for X and Y and again for Z but don't get too worried as you've decided to put a stop to it. 

How much are you saving each month? 

You can have holidays or a kitchen, just not at the same time. 

You can have cheaper yet exciting trips, say get an interrail ticket for under £200, save about £800 for hotel and spending money then go to spend a week traveling around Europe by train (see the excellent man at seat 61 website for ideas). You could spend less than £1k on your week if you are careful where and when you go for eg. 

Talk to your partner about where your money is going and what you want and need to spend money on and save for. 

I mentioned that is our savings and spending for the month to slowly furnish our home. 

We used finance because we didn't fancy sleeping and sitting on the floor. 

The credit card was used to buy my car. Not been used for anything else. I drive for work so kinda needed the car.