Future Help with Cognitive Decline

BarleyGB

I'm approaching retirement and one thing that is playing on my mind is care for when im hopefully much older, but less capable.

I'm not married, have no children, siblings or close relatives.  I'm well aware of how my mom struggles with basic things, especially banking, accessing benefits via DWP, understanding medication, and medical appointments etc.  Its not dementia or Alzheimer's (its been checked), just general cognitive decline and not being able to adapt to new technology.

Assuming there is no one else I know, who could I go to and be able to trust to be able to help in my later years, im not meaning for care in my home or care home but with frequent general household essential activates.

Are there any services available for this, perhaps a solicitors or agency that could be my power of attorney or similar (or perhaps make an arrangement with friend & one of their siblings).  This is something id anticipate having to pay for but would want confidence they would only act in my best interests?

I would appreciate your thoughts?

Exodi

Just for your information -

There are two types of LPA - Financial and Health.

One allows decisions to made about your property and financial affairs (e.g. paying bills, buying/selling investments/selling property if needed/etc), the other is about your health and welfair (e.g. where you live, who visits you/type of care/etc).

If you do not have an LPA in place and you lost capacity, your financial affairs can be put under the control of the Court of Protection, and this court then decides who manages your affairs. The process can be long and expensive, and annual accounts must be sent to the court for approval, and the person appointed (known as deputy) often has limited powers.

Health and welfare decisions on the other hand may be made by the local authority and medical practitioners based on what they deem to be your best interests.

Of course, you can assign someone else as LPA in advance, as you know. It's important to remember that your attorneys will only be able to act on your behalf with your consent, while you have capacity. They can only unilaterally act on your behalf if you have lost mental capacity.

However, in my opinion, what you describe in your opening post is not an LPA, but a carer - "help with frequent general household essential activities".

You wouldn't want a solicitor acting as LPA to help you with getting some milk and bread delivered from Tesco or to call up Sky to haggle the price of the sports package.

kempiejon

My pal worked with Age Conern now Age UK they were involved in the befrienders, social visits/telephone chats for those old and alone, pretty sure she said there were other volunteers to visit and help out with DIY, IT, home help etc..
Alternatively now's time to start hunting for a companion, I've heard later romance is very fulfilling.

BridgetTheCat

Given the amount of brainwork I’m currently doing for my parents I’ve decided I’m going to bow out at 80.

tacpot12

I think the answer is to build up a network of friends. There are lots of people who are not that social, but who understand that they will be happier and safer if they have someone who is aware of their situation. Often there are skills that can be shared between freinds, and sometimes even just having someone with you while you try to sort out a difficult problem is a benefit. 

So try to cultivate a circle of friends for the purpose of mutual support. There might already be a local group; they might have a flier up in your library or GP practice, and if there isn't, start one while you have the energy, mobility and cognative faculties to do so. It might feel very alien to you to be doing this, but I think you will find lots of people who would be happy to be part of something like that.  

MallyGirl

BridgetTheCat said:

Given the amount of brainwork I’m currently doing for my parents I’ve decided I’m going to bow out at 80.

I am going through a fair amount of that right now. She has Alzheimer's and he is a technophobe. She has managed to create a web of accounts for which she has forgotten the passwords but each seems to be part of a convoluted 2 factor authentication chain. I am close to forcing the activation of the LPA as I don't have the tools to unpick it all without that and she is not local. It's a nightmare 

PropertyGuru_Wannabe

BarleyGB said:

I'm approaching retirement and one thing that is playing on my mind is care for when im hopefully much older, but less capable.

I'm not married, have no children, siblings or close relatives.  I'm well aware of how my mom struggles with basic things, especially banking, accessing benefits via DWP, understanding medication, and medical appointments etc.  Its not dementia or Alzheimer's (its been checked), just general cognitive decline and not being able to adapt to new technology.

Assuming there is no one else I know, who could I go to and be able to trust to be able to help in my later years, im not meaning for care in my home or care home but with frequent general household essential activates.

Are there any services available for this, perhaps a solicitors or agency that could be my power of attorney or similar (or perhaps make an arrangement with friend & one of their siblings).  This is something id anticipate having to pay for but would want confidence they would only act in my best interests?

I would appreciate your thoughts?

Perhaps it is time for you to reach out to your distant relatives?  You do need family or trusted friends around you or else I assure you later life can be extremely difficult.  There is an argument that if you do go doolaly then nothing matters anyway but what if your mind is sound but your body won't do the simplest of tasks such as throwing the rubbish into the black bin outside because you cannot walk properly?  When this does happen, then getting into a care home paid for by your funds or your home would be an option.

If I were in your position, I would hope to have enough funds for retirement, look after your mother, keep fit and healthy, and start re-establishing closer contact with distant family or trusted friends.  If you don't have any, then look at finding them.  Plan your retirement life as a large project, it should be a contented chapter of life and you should have lots of plans of what you want to do, places to go, any life goals, learn new skills, or look to do good causes.  Once you have found a trusted member or two, you could provide them with power of attorney when you know you are in cognitive decline.  Perhaps a mutual agreement to leave them all you have once you are gone because this is a huge undertaking?  Most of all, enjoy your retirement life, it does not mean the final chapter and you could do so much in the 30 years or so, starting a new business, business venture, non-profit organisation, starting or adopting a new family, there is so much to do for you and it's easier if you have enough funds.  That's the way life should be so make the best of it and not just look at the clock waiting for the time to come.

barnstar2077

Are the U3A operating in your area?  Maybe get involved with some groups and form some friendships with people in the same boat that you can figure things out together with.

Nebulous2

I've ended up providing some support for a neighbour who is estranged from all his family. Cognitive decline is not yet an issue, but he is physically frail. He has suggested making me POA and executor of his will, but I have avoided so far. 

We have some shared costs and I'm concerned about conflict of interest. I can see me having to pursue him, or his estate, for maintenance costs, and I don't want to be on both sides of that equation. 

He is timid and quiet and services largely ignored him, or did the minimum they could, until I started advocating for him. It has given me a view of how parlous somebody's position can be, if they don't have a loud voice or somebody else with one.... 

the_end_of_the_rainbow

Is there such a thing as a supported living organisation / home close by that you could move to that could offer increased help as you get older? Not sure if they would be able to manage your money but could help with more practical things?

Arthurian

My local council sent someone round an elderly relative's supported living development, checking everyone had applied for all the benefits they were entitled to (attendance allowance, etc).  This was quite a few years ago.  Might be worth a phone call to your local council's Adult Social Care department to explain your concern.