Why is it so hard!

swjf1q

I just want to vent/rant to people who will honestly get it! 
Im working hard at paying back my debts, (I've paid back around £5000 in the past 12 months, £20000 still to go) sticking to a budget, doing everything thats on my plan but at this time of year with a school trip every bloody week, the summer social invites and quite honestly the want for ice-creams and scones, a cold pint in a beer garden. 
I know this is a marathon and not a sprint and I got myself into this mess so I've only myself to blame but it just hard. 

Im also feeling quite stuck in that, the house needs some repairs. I do have some room in my budget to save so I don't have to do without completely, or when unexpected bills come in (like a school trip). At the end of the month, any money left in the buffer pot goes onto a debt.

Around £10000 of the debts that I have left is at 11% interest, the rest is all 0% (sofa, mattress, phones or loans from family). The plan that I have been working off is to pay the loan thats costing me while making the min payments on the 0% things. Once a 0% thing is paid off, snowball that money into the fee paying one. For example, the 0%sofa is £100 a month, 8 more payments, so in 8 months time I can add £100 a month to the interest one. OR, do I then keep saving the £100 to pay for house repairs.

We know we want to move house in the long term but we need to save for this. In basic terms out 5 year plan is- pay off debts, sort the house, sell the house, move and have a fresh start, but do we 'sort the house' at the same time. 

It's just hard when I want everything now but have no money for what I want but do know what to do for the best. 

Grumpelstiltskin

Right lets check, have all your debts defaulted?

You shouldn't be paying any that haven't defaulted.

Are all the debts enforceable? Have you checked if CCAs are available and valid?

Are you running your own DMP or going through someone else?

RAS

Ok, rant accepted. 

Now, work out how much those school trips cost and budget for them. Allocate some money for ice creams (and chestnuts, burgers, hot chocolate later in the year), and get some lolly makers (IKEA) and maybe a second hand ice cream maker to bulk out with DIY. 

And make more provision of house repairs.

You may end up with slightly less to put towards the debt but continually denying yourselves a few treats does not make a sustainable debt plan. You've all got to be able to live with it.

DullGreyGuy

swjf1q said:

I got myself into this mess so I've only myself to blame but it just hard. 

Ownership is great and commend you for it. The full reality is more complex and there are many reasons why people get into debt beyond simply their own greed or poor planning. Its also why its hard, you are constantly bombarded with the message that stuff is important and credit is cheap and if you dont have the latest you're at a minimum missing out or you're a failure.

Sounds like the plan needs some slight adjustments, school trips, xmas etc are predictable and either can be budgeted for or managed out of the budget. 

A sustainable plan is often better than an unrealistic plan even if it takes a little longer, be that losing weight, paying off debt or anything else. 

PS. when did scones become a summer thing?

RAS

We don't know your circumstances.

If you are living in a major city in a flat, or in a cheek by jowl dormitory, getting out somewhere to do something outside the box is a real boost. You need space to breathe.

Or maybe you just need a change of scene? Or somewhere that isn't associated with being stuck?

Please breathe, properly take a few breaths morning, noon and night. Is there anywhere local that gives you space, not necessarily with the family? Would a weekly sport activity with mates give you the boost you need to manage the marathon?  For me it was a weekend rough camping, often at short notice, to balance my highly social job and the other three/seven weekends. Just space and putting one foot in front of the other.

Just take time, sit and listen to what being stuck is saying to you. You don't have to agree, but acknowledge the feeling. And let go for a while. Then you will find an answer. Not a solution, but an answer you can live with until you feel stuck again.

beckstar1975

We are completely stuck and will be expected to be paying over £1200 a month to support 2 at uni for Sept, leaving the remaining 3 of us at home with about £600 a month for all food/repairs/holidays/birthdays etc etc. I know some have it worse but it's especially bad as we're servicing debt - so I am just going to have to be really brutal so we can build up buffers rather than rely on credit when unplanned for things occur.

I read this today which I sent to DH and we both found it incredibly useful - helps put things in perspective. Not any less hard, but just how we feel about them is different:

https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/10/02/what-is-stoicism-and-how-can-it-turn-your-life-to-solid-gold/

trickydicky14

beckstar1975 said:

We are completely stuck and will be expected to be paying over £1200 a month to support 2 at uni for Sept, leaving the remaining 3 of us at home with about £600 a month for all food/repairs/holidays/birthdays etc etc. I know some have it worse but it's especially bad as we're servicing debt - so I am just going to have to be really brutal so we can build up buffers rather than rely on credit when unplanned for things occur.

I read this today which I sent to DH and we both found it incredibly useful - helps put things in perspective. Not any less hard, but just how we feel about them is different:

https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/10/02/what-is-stoicism-and-how-can-it-turn-your-life-to-solid-gold/

I've always been a fan of Mr Money mustache, cuts to the chase and no bull !!!!!!.

Rob5342

If you are looking at a 5 year time frame then defaulting would make sense. The interest would be frozen, the default would drop off your credit report after 6 years, and the debts would likely be sold to a debt collector who would accept a reduced offer at some point down the line. Also, once sold to a debt collector you could make cca requests and may not have to pay some of them at all.