Divorce

Helpamanout

Hi I'm currently going through a divorce my wife left me with our 3 children  and moved out a year after getting married i have always paid the morgage but both names are on it we have been to mediation but can't agree on what's been said. Before she left we remortgage the house she is now asking for half the remortgage money and her solicitor says she can have it. How can this be when she left and its me paying the mortgage back plus all the household debts too eg credit cards ect I'm at a loss as to what to do next or what to say can anyone help or advise please thankyou x

elsien

Her solicitor is acting solely for her so is not going to be giving you the full picture or any impartial information. They are  being  paid to say what she tells them to.

What does your own legal advice have to say about this?

Devongardener

If you’ve been to mediation but can’t remember what was said can you go back to the mediation service to see if there is a written record?
Are you taking your own legal advice? Your wife’s solicitor cannot force you to do anything at this stage, you should have your own solicitor to respond and counter claim.

Voyager2002

You need your own solicitor: your wife's solicitor writes letters saying whatever your wife wants them to say.

Your wife should be paying you child maintenance, and since the mortgage is a debit for which you are both equally liable, she should be meeting half the monthly payments. These amounts that she owes you are probably far greater than her share of any equity that you have taken out of the house. 

RAS

Did your wife take the children with her, or leave them with you? Your OP is unclear.

Helpamanout

She took the kids i do pay her monthly for them 

Helpamanout

I have them 3 days too 

sheramber

You need to consult your own solicitor.

 Being a short marriage  is relevant , although I assume you lived together beforehand. 

If you and your wife cannot agree then the court will decide. 

ian1246

Op, just posting to wish you the best of luck.

My wife left me whilst I was at work - single Facebook message telling me. A simple breakdown of the marriage- petty arguments- predominantly caused by the pressure of having a son (2 years old when she left) & house needing lots of work.

She left in July 2023. We'd reached agreement via mediation in December. Divorce & clean break order through in May 2024 & pension sharing order finalised & fully implemented in December 2024.

We started at a 50 / 50 split as a starting point - house value, minus all debts / loans = joint pool of assets. We agreed to split the cash 50/50 (to meet both our short term needs).

We also started at a 50 / 50 agreement on total pension value (mine represented 2/3rds of total value).

My income was 2.6 times her income - as a result my mortgage potential was far higher than hers, that meant she argued for more of the equity to meet her housing needs.

Eventually it was a 41 : 59 split of equity - but the extra equity she got was offset against the equivilant value of pension - meaning the overall split of total assets was still 50 / 50, but significantly in her favour for the short-term (cash today is worth far value more than in 25 years time!!!).

It meant she could get a shared ownership house with a small mortgage (reflecting her small income & universal credit), whilst I got my own full ownership 3 bed semi, mortgaged - but put over 40 years into retirement (made possible because my pension was mostly untouched due to offsetting her equity against it) - by putting it over so many years, its reasonably affordable.

That meant our son had stability and we have been broadly amicable with one another. Initially child contact was meant to be 50 / 50, but its since moved to 55 : 45 - with me now having our son 16 out of every 28 days & nights, plus all the extra times she asks me to have him (holidays etc...). I've also taken him to all of his dermatology, hearing tests and speech & language appointments whilst she's done the bare minimum.

She still gets the Child Benefit & doesn't pay Child Maintainance - both of those are future area's to have a battle over in the future - but currently I more value the lack of confrontation / stress than the £250ish a month that the Child Benefit / Child Maintainance represents. It also means I know my son's needs are met whilst with her - which is reassuring.

Good luck - it does get better. The key phrases to remember when working towards an agreement - meeting each individuals housing needs & how long the respective financial recovery periods will be (i.e. getting back to stability), both of which are what a judge inevitably will look at.