Leaving bulk of assets to children in will rather than spouse

p00hsticks

MarzipanCrumble said:

I am going to be really controversial here:  don't aggresively troll me.  

TBH if you are suffering from dementia and the care is adequate rather than 5 star, does it really matter?

Just to add to the other comments here, it's not just a case of the quality of care home you may end up in if reliant on local authority funding, but whether you are given a place in a care home at all. The Local Authority will look first at providing care in a persons own home which would be a maximum of four visits from carers a day. Unless your dementia is severe enough that you are considered a danger to yourself or others, and so need to be in a home then you will simply be left o your own devices between visits. 

Funding your own care gives you choices that won't be available to you if you rely on the Local Authority. 

Keep_pedalling

p00hsticks said:

MarzipanCrumble said:

I am going to be really controversial here:  don't aggresively troll me.  

TBH if you are suffering from dementia and the care is adequate rather than 5 star, does it really matter?

Just to add to the other comments here, it's not just a case of the quality of care home you may end up in if reliant on local authority funding, but whether you are given a place in a care home at all. The Local Authority will look first at providing care in a persons own home which would be a maximum of four visits from carers a day. Unless your dementia is severe enough that you are considered a danger to yourself or others, and so need to be in a home then you will simply be left o your own devices between visits. 

Funding your own care gives you choices that won't be available to you if you rely on the Local Authority. 

My step father and mother both ended up in care, neither ever had much money and they lived in LA housing. My step father had serious mobility issues and after being sent home after one fall he was on the floor unable to get up within the hour, went back to hospital and he was assessed as needing nursing care (he also had cancer) which was funded by the NHS. He spent the last 6 months of his life there. His room was a good size with on suit wet room, there was a great choice of food and activities and he absolutely loved it. I booked my mother in there later for a weeks respite which cost me close to £1900 in 2017.

My mother in the other hand suffered from various age related illnesses including dementia but because she could not self fund had to get to a pretty low state before she could get past the LA funding panel and it took a hospitalisation discharge assessment to finally get that through (she really should have been in residential care 8 months earlier) . The choices I had at the time were limited and she was offered a place in a not too modern facility with small rooms with no on suit facilities I can’t complain about the staff who were great but it’s not the sort place I ever intend ending up in,

If we ever need serious support, we either want a live in carer or a place like my step father was in, so we are making sure that we both retain sufficient funds to cover that. 

bobster2

Mum161111 said:

It is definitely not my intention to be controversial in any way - but are we saying that those who cannot afford to fund their care privately are, knowingly, being cared for in places where (re pressure sores) the care is so poor, short staffed etc, that they are knowingly being neglected? 

Sometimes - yes. These are extreme cases - the homes are privately run - but many of the residents will be placed their by their local authority.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-56015903

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ck55x2deelno

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-54174854

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3vx9eegdqqo

Cobbler_tone

I think it depends on the relationship. If you have a loving child they will want the best for you right until the end, no matter the cost. I think some assume they are going to spank all their money on fine wine and holidays. I guess the OP did put it out there but people worry too much about trying not to spend other people’s money. IMO of course.

powerspowers

p00hsticks said:

MarzipanCrumble said:

I am going to be really controversial here:  don't aggresively troll me.  

TBH if you are suffering from dementia and the care is adequate rather than 5 star, does it really matter?

Just to add to the other comments here, it's not just a case of the quality of care home you may end up in if reliant on local authority funding, but whether you are given a place in a care home at all. The Local Authority will look first at providing care in a persons own home which would be a maximum of four visits from carers a day. Unless your dementia is severe enough that you are considered a danger to yourself or others, and so need to be in a home then you will simply be left o your own devices between visits. 

Funding your own care gives you choices that won't be available to you if you rely on the Local Authority. 

I’d also add that local authorities may well expect that your children provide the care needed. They aren’t supposed to but LA budgets are under enormous pressure and they will focus on people with no support available at all.