Old Style Daily Wednesday 04 June 2025

RedRuby1231

Morning all

Its raining here and set in for the day, I had washing on the line overnight so will have to deal with that later.

I heard from the sw finally yesterday, she told me that the mum has locked herself out of her internet banking and could I continue to bankroll Rob until she can sort it out, I quickly relied that no I couldn’t, I paid for him again yesterday as we went out as a group and I didn’t want him to miss out, but I’ve put a stop to it now and told them I simply cannot afford it anymore.

The second part of the email was to tell me that they have made a decision about his future and that they will be sending him home 😡 with visits from carers 4 times daily 7 days a week, the visits will be 2 half hour ones and 2 fifteen minute ones, the rest of the time he will just be with his mum, they have said that this will have an impact on his day care and the placement team will be in touch to discuss it with me, I am almost certain that they will stop all day care as there is just not the money for everything, I am in the process of putting an official complaint together, I am so angry on his behalf as he will have no life at all with his mum and will just sit there in his own filth with nothing to do all day, the whole decision has been made on what his mum wants and not what is in his best interests. The whole thing is making me feel sick to my stomach. I have listed in the complaint about the  many times when I have put incident forms or emails in, such as the time when he has one slice of toast and a glass of water this is all he had one Sunday as she couldn’t get to the shop and none of the family would help. It is only a matter of time before a serious accident happens and he is badly hurt. 😡😡

So I am not taking him to the cafe today I am going to stay here and finish the complaint and send it in,  also I know they will ask me to deliver him home with his belongings which I simply can’t do, I would be leaving him to a life of hell and I would disappear out of his life never to see him again.

Sorry for the long moaning post I am just at a loss of what to do.

Have good days all and take care xx 

Coxy11

Morning all and thanks for the start @Gers glad that you’re feeling better x

Sorry to hear about the vertigo @TravellingAbuela but glad you too are feeling better today x

I’m so angry about Rob @RedRuby1231 - let’s hope someone sees sense. 

A work day for me, so better dash  Wishing you all a good day. 

Coxy x

TravellingAbuela

I'm angry for you too RR.  How many times have we heard "Lessons have been learnt" when wrong decisions have been made about the care of a child or an adult with a disability. Lessons are not being learnt at all are they. Poor Rob, we can all see how much his welfare means to you.  I hope there is a rethink xx
 

snoozer

Hi everyone,

Ruby, that is terrible. I wish I could think that they would change their minds but it's unlikely. You've given Rob so much happiness over the last few years it breaks my heart to think of his future.

It puts my gripes into perspective, I'll just say I'm finding it quite hard living with L and B at the moment, mostly B. They are so disorganised we spend our lives looking for things. Poor Esben was upset this morning that his swimming goggles were missing and Brian was getting cross with him even though he was the last person to take him swimming!

I must say they are better at helping with the housework though. Small wins.

TA, Take it easy today, I'm glad your friends son is doing so well.

Gers, you take it easy as well. 

I hope you're ok Nanny.

Have a good day.

Chrisca50

Oh Ruby that's such awful news.  They are not competent or safe to hold people's lives in their hands.  I'm sure you'll fight as hard as you can on his behalf.  We're all behind you x

YorksLass

Morning all, thanks for the start @Gers.  Glad to hear you're feeling better today.  The sun is out at the moment, it's breezy and light showers are possible until later this afternoon.  Yesterday was quite chilly because of the wind but it stayed dry until about 5pm when we had a torrential but short-lived downpour.  I kept on checking in the kitchen and bathroom where the water ingress was happening but all seemed to be OK.  I hope that continues to be the case because I've pencilled July in for decorating in there after the water damage.  Nothing major, just painting.

Hairdresser visit yesterday went well and I have one more appointment with her at the end of July before she goes on maternity leave.  Baby (a boy) is doing well and due end Aug/beg Sept.  If baby obliges (and we know they don't always) the plan is for her to be on maternity leave for three months before returning to work on a part-time basis.  It was her first day in this salon and she was all a bit at 6's and 7's.  She couldn't find the hand mirror she uses to show you the back of your head so she took a photo on her phone to show me - a novel but effective solution!

I need to make some bread today then I'm going to the Co-op for a small top-up shop, probably in the afternoon when it's less likely to rain.  I have some tablets to pick up from the pharmacy too but, as that's in a totally different direction and I have enough for another week or so, I can postpone that until next week if need be.  Tea tonight is a fish meal, just need to decide what kind.

@TA - Glad to hear you're well enough for your lunch date today after the vertigo episode (remember to take a brolly) and that your DF's son is making good progress too.

@Chrisca - Hope DH's appointment goes well.  Our hospital car parking is a nightmare whatever time of day you go.  One is in the city centre (says it all) and the other has a huge multi-storey car park that's always full.  Poor DS used to have to drop me and DH off first and then spend an eternity looking for a space.  DH had a Blue Badge but even those spaces were always full.

@Ruby - Words fail me, I can't believe social services are sending Rob home.  Totally the wrong decision.  You're not moaning either, it's a genuine concern on your part that's upsetting you and clearly isn't in Rob's best interests.  And good for you on putting your foot down about the money situation too. 

@Snoozer - Hugs, it sounds as if you need some!   

Take care all, best wishes for a good day.  X

newroadahead

Morning All
Ruby you have been so kind and good for Rob and I am absolutely flabbergasted that they are sending him home to his mum. She has hospitalised and by the sound of things is not able to cope on her own never mind look after him. I hope they take note of your complaint and reverse their decision. X

Gers and TA hope you are both feeling better sending hugs x

TA glad your DF  son is improving x

Snoozer hope things improve with B and L. They will have to be more organised when they move. X

Derek hope you have managed a better night's sleep and the weekend with DS goes OK. X

I really need to get myself into gear have bits to do around the house. We have booked a tip run on Friday bits and pieces for us and some old drawers for DD.

Have a good day all hugs to all who want them

NRA xxxx

remmie

Ruby, I am so upset to read this update on Robs care. I hope the sw sees sense. 

Sending hugs to you x

-taff

Ruby, that's awful. Are you going to formally complain and then go as far as the Ombudsman? It can't be in his best interests or finacially viable to have carers going in four times a day. I would deifnitely include the times she's sent him out improperly dressed for the weather, his lack of adequate clothing. And if she is not capable of looking after herself, I can't see how they can say he's safe there essentially on his own for 22 and a half hours a day. And personally, I would maybe even anonymously report his family for financial abuse. It's really making my blood boil. 

ScarletRibbons

Hi, Ruby, I'm so sorry to read that Social Services have made a decision to send poor Rob back to his mother's so called care.
No love or concern for his welfare seems to have come from his family, he just seems to be a burden to them.
It's so sad for him, and heart breaking for you.