Family member

gadget88

So my brother got divorced and was made homeless about 5 years ago. He has since remarried. Once he met her she took control of his affairs cancelled his contract with his phone to go PAYG to save money cancelled his virgin media to try and hog on free netflix sharing. Anyway the latest twist is his mortgage is up for renewal usually just a simple case of doing it via the app but she wants to fully remortgage with a new bank with new legal costs so get her name on the house. They had a fall out a few months back and he seemed reluctant to sign house over. That said he can add her name to his existing mortgage. But something seems off in it all. My worry is he's going to be 50 soon so any new mortgage might not happen if some how he divorced again he would be stuck renting? Any thoughts? She also got a new kitchen done very frugal with money but the guy was a toke waster never done the the job but she then paid a few grand more but not her money some help from family. I've been reluctant to share any streaming passwords with her given how quick she was to cancel virgin media..

elsien

It’s up to your brother to sort out his relationship. Depending on the length of their marriage, if they did get divorced, she would be entitled to half of his assets and vice versa anyway regardless of whose name was on what.
Has your brother raised any concerns with you at all, or is this all speculation on your part?

gadget88

elsien said:

It’s up to your brother to sort out his relationship. Depending on the length of their marriage, if they did get divorced, she would be entitled to half of his assets and vice versa anyway regardless of whose name was on what.
Has your brother raised any concerns with you at all, or is this all speculation on your part?

Well yes but with my family the two divorces previous the partner took the entire house with both my sisters. I fear the whole new bank thing is all about her taking the whole asset? He has raised concerns but she seems very bossy. I think he does what he’s told 

comeandgo

If entire houses have gone in divorce settlements then I’d expect there has been a set off somewhere, ie the pensions have not been touched.
  Even if your sister in law manages to put the house totally in her name, which she won’t be able to do unless she can pay the mortgage herself on her wages, in divorce the value would be included in the settlement to your brother.
Also, nobody knows what goes on in a marriage so you are only viewing from the outside.

pinkshoes

He is an adult. Unless he has MH issues and you feel he is vulnerable and being coerced, then he needs to sort his own issues out. If he is not happy about something he needs to say NO. If he cannot say no to this woman then I suggest a divorce might be sensible as it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. 

Brie

sounds like financial coercion but as others say you are looking in and may not know the whole picture.  if you are concerned you might want to refer him to a safeguarding agency of some sort.  It might be easier for him to talk to someone who is a sibling.

sheramber

https://mensadviceline.org.uk/

https://mankind.org.uk/help-for-victims/types-of-domestic-abuse/

https://behind-closed-doors.org.uk/resource/working-with-men-who-have-experienced-domestic-abuse-policy/

gadget88

I worry I am over reacting but sister also had a divorce I asked her if she would sign her house over she said no. Not sure how common it is. I fear he's sort of happy to be bossed. I mean maybe sign the house over after a long time but it's been 3 years. Not sure how normal that is. I do know he's been pressurised to remortgage to a new bank 

elsien

You still seem to have missed the fact that after a certain amount of time the house is a shared asset anyway, as per my first post. Whether "signed over" or not. And she is paying towards doing the house up as well so it is not completely a one way street. 

And "being pressurised to remortgage" may simply mean that his wife has tracked down a much better deal with a different bank.  Which most people on this money saving site would applaud.

 "She seems very bossy" does not automatically imply coercion. There is often one more proactive person in a relationship who takes charge while the other is happy to coast along; sometimes it is the man and sometimes it is the woman.  You really haven't shared enough information to be making those presumptions at this stage.