Money Moral Dilemma: Should we return the furniture we thought we'd been given for free?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My mum's neighbour gave us some furniture, which we believed to be a generous offer to help us furnish our first home. To show our appreciation, we donated £100 to his son, who ran the London Marathon for charity last weekend. The neighbour has now said he could have sold the furniture for much more than £100 and believes we should have made a larger donation. What should we do: return the furniture to him, increase the donation, or stick with our original understanding of the offer?

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Mark_d

You mum's neighbour donated the furniture to you.  You did not accept the furniture on the condition of making a large donation to his son.  I think it's out of order that the neighbour is suggesting you should have made a larger donation.

I think you should stick to your original understanding of the offer and hope things blow over with the neighbour.  If he wants to make an issue of it then he should be responsible for having the furniture collected from your home...and he should compensate you for your £100 donation (so that you can put your money towards furniture that you want).

barnehurst

If they valued it at more than £100 they should have said at donation. You are right

heatherw_01

I would stick with the original offer.

outtatune

Tell the neighbour the furniture is available for him to collect at his own expense once he returns the £100 to you.

Ed264

Stick with the original understanding of the donation of furniture. I think £100 is a generous donation to his son. He's just trying it on - invite him to collect the furniture if this is how he feels, and allow him to attempt to sell it for more than £100.

Julia1960

I am so sorry to hear that your mum has the misfortune of living next to such a singularly unpleasant individual! If you are happy with the furniture he gave you and wish to keep it, you are completely within your rights to do so with no further contribution or discussion on the matter. If the neighbour mentions it again, I would write him a letter along the following lines and hand-deliver it through his letterbox, to ensure he receives it.

”Dear [Bob],

[John] and I wish to thank you once again for donating the furniture to us. It was such a kind gesture and we wanted you to know it is very much appreciated. As you know, this is our first home and we are just setting out in life. As you can also imagine, we have very little spare cash, so it has been a real help to us and obviously very much needed at this time. It is comforting to know that there are thoughtful people like yourself who think of others first.

In turn, we hope you will also come to appreciate the donation we voluntarily made for your son’s recent London Marathon run. Incidentally, what a kind and thoughtful son you have, raising money for charity in this way. You must be very proud of him!

With best wishes,

[Sign both your names]”

If he should dare to pursue his request for more money after this, simply blank him completely and do not in any circumstances enter into any further discussion on the matter.

mlz1413

What a rude neighbour!

Gives you furniture,  didn't ask for money so he should have got nothing.

Then you think he is being generous helping you out so you sponsor his sons charity run, which you wouldn't have done beforehand.

Then the neighbour isn't happy with giving away furniture and taking your sponsorship. 

I'd tell him that you are sorry there has been a misunderstanding,  please collect the furniture and return the donation so that you both have what you started with.

Maybe offer that he brings the donation back then you will return the furniture to the front door but no further. 

Girlpurple

They gave it to you without the caveat that you had to donate to their son. You might not of been able to donate anything at all, so really they should be pleased you gave £100 as a token of your gratitude.

CapeTown

Give furniture back

newpuppy

Girlpurple said:

They gave it to you without the caveat that you had to donate to their son. You might not of been able to donate anything at all, so really they should be pleased you gave £100 as a token of your gratitude.

Yes, definitely!  £100 is a decent donation by anyone's standards, let alone from somebody who is setting up a new home.  And what suddenly prompted him to measure your donation against the value of his 'gift'?  Perhaps you or your Mum could negotiate a way of returning the furniture to him, even if that means letting the £100 go, because every time you look at that furniture in future, it's probably going to remind you of the unpleasantness around it.