How can I upskill into something that doesn't require me to be smart?

Tucosalamanca

The problem that you have is that you're approaching the squeezed middle.

Recent minimum wage increases have been great for the lowest paid but once you get much higher, wage stagflation is real.

£30k or thereabouts is where millions of workers are.
Nurses, Police, Teachers, starting on around £30k per year.
Shop managers, administrators, drivers, technicians, supervisors, basic tech roles, all around £30k per year.
Sure, some will progress and earn more (sometimes much more) but many will just keep doing that stressful role for little more than minimum wage.

If you want more money, you'll need skills and experience. Lots of both if you want to pull away from £30-£35k salaries.

When you look at take home salaries, even if you make that jump to £35k, take home pay will not rise massively from your current level.

You could argue that there's little point progressing, as the reward for 'better' jobs with responsibility simply isn't enough.
Why be the boss or take responsibility for £10-20 per day extra?

In my circles, I know more people looking to move down rather than move up.
Why deal with the stress/politics/responsibility/longer hours when you can take an easy life for marginally less wages. It's a no-brainer if you can afford to do so.

Marcon

SneakySpectator said:

I'm not a smart person, and that's fine, not everyone is. I've always failed academically and I've tried a handful of times at things which require a brain, like software development and I just can't do it. My brain simply isn't capable of grasping abstract complex things. 

I'm also not the greatest when it comes to social situations and people skills, sure I can hold down a conversation but I would struggle to hold a presentation in front of a crowd. 

You can be smart without being academic. Some extremely successful business people have had no difficultly in proving that to be the case. You're smart enough to identify the things you can't or don't want to do, which plenty of people never manage.

SneakySpectator said:

I thought about becoming a HGV driver, and I know this may sound like an excuse, but I already have really bad driving anxiety just from driving a car so being behind the wheel of a 40 ton lorry where one wrong move could easily kill someone is not something I want to think about every time I get behind the wheel. 

Nope, sounds like a sensible reason.

SneakySpectator said:

Ideally I'd like a career that allows me to get my foot in the door without a degree, then working my way up to a higher salary via experience. 

If you want to get your foot in the door, then arranging your own door (ie working for yourself) is one way to do it. There are any number of possibilities for people with practical skills - the likes of cleaners and plumbers are never going to be out of work, and looking at the rates they charge, your target earnings are perfectly realistic.

Talk to your local council and see what help they offer in respect of (re)training/funding assistance. Some are so cash strapped they may not offer anything, but others still have a lot on offer.