Help an overthinker out.

Wannabee_debt_3

So I have buried my head in the sand for far far too long.  Got in way over my head consolidating debt over and over and I've finally hit the point where I'm buying groceries on my credit card to survive . I currently owe 47k in debt. 

I've looked into loads of different options but I think a DMP is the most suitable. However I have a severe mix of anxiety and guilt that i just don't know were to start.  I think its the fear of the unknown and the fact that I've never missed a payment in my whole adult life that it terrifies me to do so now.


I have some questions that I'm hoping someone maybe able to answer. 

1. If my husband has a mortgage that he alone pays for would our home be at risk if I do a self managed DMP. 

2. If I want to stop paying a loan to make it default do I just cancel the direct debit ? 

3. Do the letters that arrive show default on the front ( me imaging a big red letter arriving on the doormat) and how likely is it that a bailiff will turn up . 

4. I do have a salary finance loan that is paid directly out of my wages does anyone know how I would get out of that one? 

I'm sure I'll have lots more questions but for now that'll do? 
Thank you for reading this far. 

Emmia

Does your husband know about your financial position? Level of debts etc. Do you have any joint accounts/financial products with him?

fatbelly

The house isn't at risk even if jointly owned. Is it jointly owned or solely in his name at the Land Registry?

If you can't afford the payments on the loan, stop paying. What sorts of debts are in the 47k?

Letters are in plain envelopes. Bailiffs only happen on a defaulted ccj but that might depend on your answer to my previous question.

I doubt you will get out of the salary loan unless you leave. What flexibility you have will depend on the terms you signed

Wannabee_debt_3

Emmia said:

Does your husband know about your financial position? Level of debts etc. Do you have any joint accounts/financial products with him?

No. He has some mental health issues of his own so I don't want to worry him more. 

We do hold a joint account for our shopping but having read a lot of the forum I gather I should close down that account .  

Emmia

Wannabee_debt_3 said:

Emmia said:

Does your husband know about your financial position? Level of debts etc. Do you have any joint accounts/financial products with him?

No. He has some mental health issues of his own so I don't want to worry him more. 

We do hold a joint account for our shopping but having read a lot of the forum I gather I should close down that account .  

It will be difficult for him not to find out, and arguably finding out by accident rather than you telling him (when you have a plan to tackle the debt) is worse. What have you spent the money on?

What happens if he wants to go on holiday, do home improvements etc. where you'd normally contribute? How do you explain closing the joint account? What if he loses his job and wants you to pay the mortgage/part of the mortgage?

Even with a DMP a £47k debt is going to need some belt tightening - no groceries on the credit card for example.

I appreciate you want to protect him, but that's probably why the debt is £47k and not £4k.

Rob5342

I was in a similar position with my wife, I thought I could take care of it myself but actually I needed her support to be able to tackle it. It was only after I told her that we actually got anywhere with it, once I'd done that we could use our joints efforts to tackle it instead of me exhausting myself trying to hide it from her every time any mention of money came up.

Most of the time if the original creditor doesn't like the repayments you are making they just sell the debt to a debt collector. Debt collectors buy them for something like 10% of their value, so what seems like a massively reduced payment to you can quickly net them a nice little profit so they are usually quite happy to just take it.